Dictionary of Songs
by Kappie
Summary: 101 One-Shots based around 101 different songs. Will center around Jane and Lisbon. ***Chapter Thirty-Four*** Let Me Be The One
1. Mandolin Rain

**101 One-Shots Based on Songs**

**A/N: I have decided that I wanted to challenge myself in fan fiction writing. So I have come up with an idea. I love when everyone does those song challenges for their fanfics, so I have decided to pick 101 songs and write a one-shot to each song. I'm not sure how regular song challenges go, but I'm going to be taking the lyrics of the song and posting them before each scene that I write. I'm going to try and incorporate the lyrics somehow into the actual fic. I'll always do the lyrics in bold/italic. Flashbacks, if any, will be in italic, and present time will be in regular font.  
**

**This is the song that made me think about doing a 101 One-Shot's Based on Songs. Yay! Sorry I wrote so much. **

**Unbeta'ed. All mistakes are my own.  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist, or the beautiful Madolin Rain song.  
**

** _______________________________________________________________________  
**

**Song: Mandolin Rain Artist: Bruce Hornsby and The Range Couple: Jane and Lisbon, Jello  
**

_______________________________________________________________________________

_**The song came and went  
Like the times that we spent  
Hiding out from the rain under the carnival tent  
I laughed and shed smile  
It would last for awhile  
You don't know what you got till you lose it all again**_

"_Hurry!" Jane yelled at Lisbon. _

_He watched her run in the rain as she ran to take cover under a dock on the beach they were walking on. It had been a beautiful day, and where the rain came from, they were unsure. But he didn't mind. Seeing her all wet just gave him a smile that he just couldn't hide. _

"_Great, I'm soaked." Lisbon let out a groan as she finally had full coverage from the rain under the dock. _

_Jane just looked at her with his passionate smile. Some how it didn't matter that the day flew by because as long as he was with her it didn't matter what the time was. _

"_It's a good look for you." Jane said with a playful voice._

_Lisbon looked up at him from examining her wet clothes. She gave him a flirtatious look with her eyes, before smiling and stepping closer to him. Jane looked down at her wet face and wiped the water off of her forehead with his thumb. Lisbon closed her eyes and leaned in. Jane brought his mouth just inches from her ear. _

"_It's also just another excuse to take off your clothes." Jane whispered. _

_Lisbon's eyes flickered open and she playfully hit him on the shoulder before running back out into the rain toward the parking lot. Jane laughed to him self as he watched her run back to the car. He wished this feeling could last longer. _

_**Listen to the mandolin rain  
Listen to the music on the lake  
Listen to my heart break every time she runs away  
Listen to the banjo wind  
A sad song drifting low  
Listen to the tears roll  
Down my face as she turns to go**_

The rain was falling hard outside. Jane stood at the window lost in his thoughts. He could remember all the moments they had; good and bad. They all meant something to him. All moments that he cherished.

He turned his head around just in time to see her walk out the door. He was going to miss it all.

_**A cool evening dance  
Listening to the bluegrass band takes the chill  
From the air till they play the last song  
I'll do my time  
Keeping you off my mind but there's moments  
That I find, I'm not feeling so strong**_

"_Dance?" _

_Jane held out his hand toward Lisbon, who was lying on the blanket they had sprawled across the lawn, at a concert. _

"_To this?" Lisbon asked with uncertainty in her voice. _

_She took his hand anyways and he helped her stand up. He brought her as close as he could to his body. He could feel her heart beating rapidly and it sent a chill up his spine. _

"_It doesn't matter if it's bluegrass, rock, or Italian opera." _

_The thought of them dancing to Italian opera brought a smile to Lisbon's face. _

_They danced until the last song played. And as the band played their final notes, the rain started to come down.  
_

"_Perfect timing, eh?" _

"_As always. Race you to the car." _

_Lisbon took off in the direction of the car, and turned back only once to give him a smile and a notion for him to follow her with her finger. _

_Jane took the time to take in the view and to capture the moment before catching up. _

_**Listen to the mandolin rain  
Listen to the music on the lake  
Listen to my heart break every time she runs away  
Listen to the banjo wind  
A sad song drifting low  
Listen to the tears roll  
Down my face as she turns to go**_

His heart was breaking and there was nothing to be done. She had to go. He couldn't stop her because she didn't want to be stopped. She was scared. And he needed her to find her way back on her own. It didn't stop the tears from coming down his face as he watched her put her bag in her car.

_**Running down by the lakeshore  
She did love the sound of a summer storm  
It played on the lake like a mandolin  
Now its washing her away again**_

"_It's raining." Lisbon said as she cuddled deeper into Jane's chest. Jane wrapped his arm around her waist to hold her close. _

_They were sitting on the porch swing of the lake house. Their lake house. She didn't mind the storms. But they seemed to follow them where ever they went. _

"_Rain seems to be our theme." Jane told her with a half smile. _

_She wasn't sure if she wanted to take that as a good or a bad sign. For now she was just going to let it go though, she was with the man she loved and that's all that mattered. _

"_I love you, Jane." _

_**Listen to the mandolin rain  
Listen to the music on the lake  
Listen to my heart break every time she runs away  
Listen to the banjo wind  
A sad song drifting low  
Listen to the tears roll  
Down my face as she turns to go**_

"I love you, Lisbon." That's all he could say as he watched her get in her car.

It was hard enough to watch her go, but the fact that he hadn't told her everything he wanted to before she left, was killing him the most. Maybe if he had said all those words and more, she wouldn't have gone.

_**The boats steaming in  
I watch the side wheel spin and I  
Think about her when I hear that whistle blow  
I can't change my mind  
I knew all the time that she'd go  
But that's a choice I made long ago**_

"_I have to go."  
_

"_Why?" _

"_Because I can't do this." _

_Jane knew this day would come. The day where everything became completely apparent to her. That this was it. He was it. There's be no more searching, because he was the one. _

_He knew she'd leave. But he couldn't change her mind. He couldn't change his mind way back when it all started. He wanted her. Needed her. So he took the chance on the fact that his heart wouldn't be broken. He took a chance on her. _

_Now it was clear. All along that she would never have stayed. It was all enough for both of them. The love, the trust, the passion. But it was also too much for her. And he knew that from the beginning and that was the choice he chose long before this started. _

_**Listen to the mandolin rain  
Listen to the music on the lake  
Listen to my heart break every time she runs away  
Listen to the banjo wind  
A sad song drifting low  
Listen to the tears roll  
Down my face as she turns to go**_

"_What is this?" Lisbon asked as Jane held the figure towards her, pleading with her to take it. _

"_It's a rain stick." Jane said quietly. _

"_Jane-", Lisbon started to protest. _

"_Don't say you can't." Jane shook his head as Lisbon took it carefully from his hands. "You've said that enough." _

"_I'm sorry." Lisbon said with pure sadness. _

_Jane refused to make eye contact with her as she looked toward him. Jane just looked toward the window. _

"_Think of me when you use it." _

"_I don't need this to think of you." Lisbon sighed. A tear rolled down her cheek. Jane didn't need to see it, he heard it. It was enough to make him look at her. His usual radiant blue eyes had become a deep blue sea of sadness_

"_Then remember all the good times. In the rain." _

He watched her speed away in her SUV, as he remembered their last moment together.

He only had memories left now. As the tears came down heavier than before, so did the rain. There was one thing that he'd always have.

Mandolin rain.

________________________________________________________

**I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. **

**RnR, if you please. :)  
**

**-Kai **


	2. Gettin' You Home

**A/N: This chapter is most likely not going to be as good as the last. At least not in my opinion. However, I did do a much lighter and happier song. I also want to let you know I've chosen all 101 songs already, but feel free to suggest some song choices and I'll see if my muse can come up with something. Also, all chapters will be Jane and Lisbon centered. I have really bizarre taste in music so I go from country (my favorite) to some random people usually no one has heard of, to old time music. LOL. So bare with me in my music tastes.  
**

**Un-beta'ed. All mistakes are my own.**

**Quick thanks to the following people for reading and then reviewing: Lou, CSI-4077, JollyRancher543321, Jisbon-Fan, PhoenixWytch, Madaboutthementalist, lgmtreader, yasminbanu786, FallIntoAHellCalledLove. I really appreciate all of you taking the time to read and then leave such wonderful reviews. It really inspires me to write and try and give you the best. So again, thank you so much. *hugs* **

**Disclaimer: Wow, I don't own The Mentalist or the song, what a shock that must be. *gasp* **

**

* * *

**

**Song: Gettin' You Home**

**Artist: Chris Young **

* * *

_**Tuxedo waiters, black tie  
White table clothes and red wine  
We've been planning, this night  
Looking forward to it for some time  
Now honey I know you love getting dressed up  
And you know I love showing you off  
But watching your baby blue eyes, dancing in the candle light glow  
All I can think about, is gettin' you home**_

_**Walking through the front door **_

_** Seeing your black dress hit the floor **_

_** Honey there sure ain't nothing like you loving me all night long  
**_

_**And all I can think about is gettin' you home  
**_

"You look perfect." Jane told Lisbon as she looked at herself in the closest mirror at the fancy restaurant they had been waiting at.

Lisbon rolled her eyes and ran her fingers through the lose piece of hair that lay to the side of her face. She turned back around to Jane, who was standing there looking at her completely mesmerized.

"What?" Lisbon asked. "There's something wrong isn't there?"

Jane just shook his head.

"Jane party?" The hostess called out.

Jane lent his arm out to Lisbon. "Shall we?" Jane asked with a smile.

Lisbon took his arm and followed the hostess to their table.

"Your waiter will be here in a few minutes." Lisbon smiled at the hostess, who in turn smiled and walked away.

Lisbon opened the wine menu, but it wasn't long before she felt like she was being watched. She slowly looked up from her menu to find Jane staring at her with his mischievous smile.

"You keep staring at me like that and we might have some problems."

"That's the whole point." Jane said in almost a sexy whisper and with the most serious expression.

Lisbon's face dropped as she realized what he was saying.

"It took me 3 hours to get dressed up and now you don't even want to have a glass of wine." Lisbon said, clearly not humored by his sudden arousal.

"I'm kind of distracted." Jane shrugged.

"I don't see how this can be distracting." Lisbon looked down at her little black dress and then back at Jane.

"It's not what you're wearing. It's you. The way the candle is making your eyes glow. And the way your hair has fallen around your face. And your smile, it's captivating me. I can't help it."

Lisbon let out a smile. He knew he was getting to her too.

"Why didn't you tell me before we got out the door? It would have saved us this whole trip."

"I thought you were looking forward to this?"

Lisbon shrugged her shoulders. "I was."

"Then order your wine. I can wait." Jane smiled and gave her a wink.

Lisbon looked suspiciously at him before looking back down at her menu.

"Are you sure? You're not going to sit there and think about me taking of this little black dress the whole time? Or how I could be making love to you all night?" Lisbon asked him teasingly, without even looking up from her menu.

When he didn't answer, she knew what to say next.

_**I don't need this menu, no I don't  
I already know just what I want  
Did I hear you right, did you tell me  
Go pay the waiter and lets leave  
Now honey I know by that look in your eyes**_

_**And your hand drawing hearts on mine**_

_**That our night out of the house, ain't gonna last too long  
When all you can think about, is gettin' me home**_

Lisbon closed her menu and looked over to Jane who was now looking away from her.

He drew in a deep breath and let it out.

"Go."

Jane quickly turned his head to Lisbon. _Did she just say what I think she said?_, Jane thought.

"Go." Lisbon repeated.

Lisbon nodded towards the hostess. Jane leaned into the table as Lisbon grabbed his hand and put a twenty dollar bill in it. She closed his hand.

"I know that look." Jane said as he looked deep into her emerald eyes. They were soft with a hint of passion that was growing the longer he looked into them.

"You better hurry."

And with that Jane stood up and went over to pay the hostess.

_**Walking through the front door**_

_**Seeing your black dress hit the floor**_

_**Honey there sure ain't nothing like you loving me**_

_**All night long**_

_**And all I can think about, all I can think about**_

_**All I can think about, is gettin' you home**_

They laughed as they walked through their front door. They stripped out of their formal wear and made love all night long. They lay on the floor of their bedroom looking out the skylight at the stars. Lisbon was cuddled into Jane, her hand lying on his chest. One of his arms wrapped around her waist the other playing with her hair.

"What are you thinking?"

"I'm so glad I got you home."

Lisbon started laughing as he pulled her up to him so that he could lay a soft kiss against her forehead.

* * *

**Whew. Some happiness, yay! **

**RnR, if you like. **

**- Kai  
**


	3. Make A Memory

**A/N: I'm going to try and do a update everyday or every other day. I might even be able to give you two updates in one day, depending on how easy the song(s) was for me to write about. **

**A thank you to the following for leaving me such wonderful reviews: JollyRancher543321, Divinia Serit, yasminbanu786, FallIntoAHellCalledLove, PhoenixWytch, and JocelynMcC. It really means a lot to me to be able to know you are enjoying the series so far and that you have taken the time to read and then review. Thank you so much! :D **

**All errors are my own.  
**

**Disclaimer: Don't own nada, The Mentalist or the song. Bummer for me, really. :(

* * *

**

**Song: (You Want To) Make A Memory**

**Artist: Bon Jovi**

* * *

_**Hello again, it's you and me  
Kinda always like it used to be  
Sippin' wine, killing time  
Trying to solve life's mysteries  
How's your life, it's been a while  
God it's good to see you smile  
I see you reaching for your keys  
Looking for a reason not to leave**_

Lisbon sat in her office going through all her files. It was a week long process and she was finally near the end. A knock at her open door though, took her completely off guard.

"Come in."

Everyone had gone home for the night and she wasn't sure who could possibly be coming by at 11 at night. However, as soon as she saw that blonde curly hair and sparkling blue eyes, she didn't even care what time it was anymore.

He walked into her office with a smile that could brighten up the darkest of the nights.

"Agent Lisbon. Or should I say Director."

Lisbon stood up and walked right over to his open arms and gave him a hug.

"Jane. It's so good to see you." Lisbon stepped back from their warm embrace and took the sight of him in. "You look good. And it's still Agent."

Lisbon turned to go back towards her desk.

"When do you start?"

Lisbon reached the front of her desk and leaned against it so she was facing Jane.

"Two weeks. Minelli's retirement party is this weekend. You should come."

Jane waved his free hand. "Nah. The guy never liked me. He was happy to see me go."

"And the only one too." Lisbon looked at him and tilted her head. Her eyes went down to see what was in his hands. She pointed to it and asked, "What's that?"

Jane raised the bottle and handed it to Lisbon. "It's for you. Congratulations on your promotion. It's well deserved."

Lisbon gave him a shy smile as she looked at it. "It's my favorite."

"You ordered it the night we closed the Red John case."

Lisbon's face went a little limp. "It was also the night you left."

"I'm here now."

"Want to test it out?" Lisbon waved the bottle towards him.

"Sure."

Lisbon grabbed a knife from her draw and used it to the best of her abilities as a cork opener, while Jane retrieved a couple glasses from the kitchen. When he returned he found her struggling to get a good grip on the knife and into the cork.

"Let me." Jane took the bottle and knife from her and without any difficulty was able to get the cork off in seconds. Jane filled her glass first and handed it to her.

"Thank you." Lisbon took a sip of her wine as she watched Jane fill his own.

"Come sit down. Tell me how your life's going since I've been gone."

Jane made his way over to what used to be his couch that was now sitting perfectly against one of Lisbon's walls. Lisbon took a seat next to him, opting to sit on her knees.

"There's not much to tell, Jane."

Jane finished a sip of his wine and smiled. "Now that can't be true."

"I work, I go home, I sleep. Same old story." Lisbon looked a bit ashamed of her boring life. "What about you?"

"Good. Life is good. I can't say they treat me as well as you did over at the FBI, though."

Lisbon smiled. "Well, there was nothing left for you to do here, right?"

Jane just stared at her taking in all the beauty that he had missed. "It's so good to see your smile again."

Lisbon tried not to let what he had just said affect her, but she couldn't tell if it had until she saw him put down his glass of wine and look towards the door.

_**If you don't know if you should stay  
If you don't say what's on your mind  
Baby just, breathe there's no where else tonight we should be  
You wanna make a memory**_

"You don't have to go." Lisbon couldn't believe the words were coming out of her mouth.

"I don't?" Jane questioned her statement.

"Did you drive all the way down here just to give me a bottle of wine and congratulate me on my promotion?"

"Maybe." Jane paused to look deep into her eyes before cutting down to his hands. "I had nothing else to do tonight."

_**I dug up this old photograph  
Look at all that hair we had  
It's bittersweet to hear you laugh  
Your phone is ringing, I don't wanna ask**_

"I forgot." Lisbon said lowering her head, remembering the day they caught Red John.

"It's been one year, Lisbon. Today." Jane laughed a bit.

Lisbon smiled at the sound of his laughter. "It's good to hear you laugh."

Jane put his hand on top of Lisbon's that had been resting on the back of the couch. Lisbon's eyes went straight to Jane's at the touch of his hand. Some how she seemed to loose track of the seconds that went by as they sat there in silence just staring into each other's eyes. The sound of Lisbon's cell phone going off was enough to jolt the both of them out of the small world that they had just created between the two of them.

Lisbon hesitated on getting the phone, not wanting to move.

"You should get that." Jane said without breaking eye contact.

"I should." Lisbon waited one more second before reaching over to get her phone.

"Lisbon." Lisbon listened as the person on the other line talked. "Thank you for calling. I appreciate it." There was one more moment of silence before Lisbon spoke. "No that's alright. He's right here, I'll tell him. I'll see you tomorrow." Lisbon hung up the phone and set it down.

Jane didn't want to ask so he waited for Lisbon to speak.

"That was Van Pelt. The sentancing is tomorrow. He'll be getting life with no parole."

Jane let out a small smile and a sigh of relief.

"It's over Jane. For good."

_**If you don't know if you should stay  
And you don't say what's on your mind  
Baby just, breathe there's no where else tonight we should be-  
You wanna make a memory  
You wanna steal a piece of time  
You could sing a melody to me  
And I could write a couple lines  
You wanna make a memory  
You wanna make a memory**_

"I didn't want to be alone when I got the news. And-", Jane started to explain.

"You don't have to tell me why you're here. I understand."

"No one else does." Jane looked back to find her eyes, but instead he found they were busy looking out the window. "I came here because there was no where else I wanted to be tonight. I've missed you Lisbon."

Lisbon held her breath after hearing him say that last sentence. When she finally let it out, she felt a chill go up her spine. Jane must have seen it all. He placed his thumb below her chin and turned her face towards him.

"Breathe." Jane smiled as he realized what he was doing to the poor woman.

A memory was about to be made. And neither one of them was going to miss a second of it.

* * *

**RnR's are lovely. :) **

**- Kai  
**


	4. I Told You So

**A/N: Just wanted to let you know that this chapter really gave me a hard time. I can honestly say that I changed the story around 5 times. I mean 5 completely different stories. I'm still not sure how I feel about it, but I want to try and stay at giving you guys one story a day. **

**Thank you to all that reviewed: 7, CSI-4077, yasminbanu786, Americanchick, JollyRancher543321, JocelynMcC, x-gemarrrr, and Divinia Serit. I really appreciate all the lovely reviews, and I look forward to writing things that you can enjoy. **

**All errors are mine. **

**Disclaimer: I'm going to say this 101 times. I don't own anything. :) **

**

* * *

**

**Song: I Told You So**

**Artist: Keith Urban**

* * *

_**You said you needed your space  
I wasn't where you wanted to be  
I didn't stand in your way  
I only want you to be happy  
And so how surprised am I to see you here tonight**_

She needed space. Time to breathe without him hounding down her neck all the time.

Today in particular, he seemed to be getting to her. Probably due to last night's incident. So he stood out of her way and gave her the time she needed away from him.

He knew she was wrong, but he didn't press the issue. He knew she would regret her decision, but he didn't stop her from making it. He also knew that she would come to him apologizing.

But when he found her sitting on his couch, he was utterly surprised.

_**Well can't you see  
That for worse or for better we're better together  
Please just come back home  
No don't say that you're sorry  
And I won't say I told you so**_

Jane walked over to the couch, quietly. When he reached the couch, he stood in front of Lisbon and waited for her to speak first.

"You were right." Lisbon said vaguely.

Jane just stood there and nodded his head. Lisbon realized he was waiting for her to say more. She stood up and their eyes met. Lisbon just stared into his eyes for a moment hoping he would say something so that she wouldn't actually have to say the words she was dreading.

Jane broke the silence with a grin. "You don't have to say it, Lisbon. I already know you were wrong."

"Of course you did."

_**Sometimes in our life  
We get to where we wonder if  
The long road that we're on  
Is headin' in the same direction  
When it comes to you and me  
We're right where I know we should be**_

"Honestly, I wondered if you were ever going to admit it. I'm very proud of you."

"Don't patronize me. I can just as easily take it back."

"Ah, but we're headed in the right direction, Lisbon."

"To where you're always right? And I'm only around to boost your ego?"

Jane took a seat on the couch as Lisbon turned around waiting for an answer.

"You're looking at it wrong. You should take it as a learning experience. You and I make a great team. I know that."

Lisbon stood there speechless.

_**Can't you see  
That for worse or for better we're better together  
Please just come back home  
No don't say that you're sorry  
And I won't say I told you so**_

"Can't you see that Lisbon? It doesn't matter who is right or wrong. What matters is that at the end of the day, we realize our mistakes and we own up to them."

"So there's no need for 'I'm sorry's' and 'I told you so's'?"

Jane smiled at her and she felt herself starting to smile too. She turned her head to the side but kept her eyes on him.

_**Sometimes it's like we're deep in nothing but love  
The slightest thing can grow so foolishly  
Remind me please**_

"What?" Lisbon asked after a moment of staring in silence with his smile still frozen in place.

"It's amazing how something can grow to be so foolish."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lisbon looked at him suspiciously as she folded her arms and waited for yet another answer from him.

"Well the whole scenario of your wrong and I'm right was a waste of our time and you've got to admit that it's a bit foolish to be arguing over rules of a card game."

"You were playing it wrong."

"I thought you said I was right?"

"I've come to the conclusion that whether you are wrong or right you would have found some way of winning with your mind tricks."

"It's not about winning or losing, Lisbon. It's about having fun."

"But it's so much more fun when you win." Lisbon smiled wholeheartedly.

_**Can't you see  
That for worse or for better we're better together  
Please just come back home  
No don't say that you're sorry  
You don't gotta say you're sorry baby  
Oh can't you see  
That for worse or for better we're better together  
Please just come back home  
No don't say that you're sorry  
And I won't say I told you so  
And I won't say I told you so  
But I told you so  
Shoulda known better than to leave me baby  
Shoulda known better than to leave me darlin'**_

"Honestly, you believe that? You can only have fun if you're winning?" Jane looked at her searching for an answer.

"Maybe."

"You're more competitive than, I thought." Jane puts his finger in the air. "Next time I'll let you win."

Jane lies down on the couch and closes his eyes.

"Let me win?"

"Yes. We'll play by your supposed rules and I'll let you win."

"I'm never attempting to apologize to you again." Lisbon scoffed as she stomped away.

"I told you so." Jane sang out as a smile spread across his face.

* * *

***sighs deeply***

**I hope you guys enjoyed it. **

**RnR if you like. **


	5. All I Ever Wanted

**A/N: This was a much easier song for me to work of off. A story line came to me like *that*. I hope you guys really enjoy this one. It's a happy one. :)**

**Also I was wondering, do any of you guys listen to the song that is being used as you read the story? I do that as I write, and I find it makes me "be" the story as I'm writing it. Or even if I'm reading someone else's I try to listen to the song that they used. *shrugs* Anyways.......  
**

**Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews for the last chapter. I wasn't so sure about it, but you guys enjoyed it and that's all that matters. :) Thanks to FallIntoAHellCalledLove, Divinia Serit, JollyRancher543321, PhoenixWytch, 7, and gemarrrr for your reivews. **

**All errors are my own.  
**

**Disclaimer: Don't own a thing via Mentalist or the amazingly crazy good song by Chuck Wicks. **

**

* * *

Song: All I Ever Wanted**

**Artist: Chuck Wicks**

* * *

_**Girl you got me going  
Yea I think you know it  
Oh I'm ready for this ride  
So come on take my hand  
'Cause only you, you understand  
How to kick this feeling into**_

Jane sat on the couch in the bull pen waiting.

Waiting for 20 minutes. Lisbon had said she would be right out.

She had him going now. He was now really curious as to what was taking her so long in her office. He decided he had done enough waiting, so he got up and went over to her office. He knocked softly and called out her name. "Lisbon?"

"Hold on."

Jane leaned up against the wall near her door.

"I've been ready for the last 20 minutes."

"Well, I wasn't."

"We're going out to eat, what do you need to get ready for?" He was now getting impatient.

Lisbon opened the door and revealed herself. She wasn't in her work attire anymore, but in a beautiful, emerald spaghetti strapped dress that flared out right at her knees.

"Whoa." Jane said as his eyes started at her feet and made their way up to her own.

Jane held out his hand to her. She put her hand in his and he gave her a little twirl.

"How you feeling?" Lisbon asked in a teasing manner.

_**Drive all night with me  
Sing my favorite song and sleep  
Under the stars on the hood of our car  
It's all I've ever wanted  
All I ever wanted was to  
See you in the pale moon light  
Just the way ya look tonight  
And maybe some day  
If love comes our way  
We'll be walking in the meadow in the early spring  
You'll be twirling in a sundress wearing my ring  
Can you see it  
Girl I believe that  
It's true  
All I ever wanted  
All I ever really wanted was you**_

They made their way to his car, and when they arrived at the passenger side, Lisbon leaned up against the car and faced Jane.

"Where do you want to go?"

"Why don't we just drive."

"Just drive?" Lisbon seemed to be unsatisfied with his answer.

"Drive. Sing a song or two. Get out and watch the stars on top of the car." Jane said confidently.

"What has gotten into you?" Lisbon gave him a quizzical look.

"The way you look tonight."

Lisbon's face turned bright red as she looked into his eyes and realized for once she could actually tell he wasn't hiding anything behind those baby blues of his.

_**If life is what you make it  
Here's my chance ill take it  
You know I wanna make you mine  
I have this picture in my mind  
You were in it all the time  
So baby hold on tight**_

They drove for about 30 minutes before Jane finally pulled the car over, leaving the radio on but shutting off the car. As Lisbon looked around to view where they were, she looked a little bewildered.

The scenery of the open field was breath taking. The sun was setting beneath the fields of flowers that danced in the breeze. The music from the car seemed to perfect the moment.

"Why are we here?" Lisbon asked.

Without giving her an anwser, Jane shot her a quick smile, and jumped out of the car.

Lisbon, still beyond comprehension of his odd behavior, followed him out.

Lisbon walked over to Jane who picked a flower from the field.

"What is going on? I ask you to dinner, and you take me to a field of flowers?"

Jane turns around and put the flower in her hair. Lisbon let a smile fall across her face softly. All Jane can think about in that moment was making that beautiful woman his.

"Where's a camera when you need one?" Jane says completely ignoring her questions.

"I'm serious, Jane."

Jane came closer to her so that he was now behind her. He lifted her arm with his and used her arm to point to an area in the field.

"That's going to be the house." Jane said quietly as he moved her arm a couple feet over to point directly in front of them. "And the barn will be there. Or maybe over here." Jane shifted her arm a little more the left.

Lisbon took a moment to look away from the field and look at his face.

"Have you lost your mind?"

Jane let go of her arm and rested his hands on her hips instead.

"I've had this picture in my head for a while now. And the only thing that is always the same is you. You're always there."

_**And drive all night with me  
Sing my favorite song and sleep  
Under the stars on the hood of our car  
It's all I've ever wanted  
All I ever wanted was to  
See you in the pale moon light  
Just the way ya look tonight  
And maybe some day  
If love comes our way  
We'll be walking in the meadow in the early spring  
You'll be twirling in a sundress wearing my ring  
Can you see it  
Girl I believe that  
It's true  
All I ever wanted **_

_**All I ever really wanted was you**_

Lisbon stood there looking at the field, trying to take in all the words that Jane had just told her. Lisbon turned around to meet Jane's gaze but found him letting go of her and walking away instead.

"Jane." Lisbon called out after him.

Before she could run after him she saw him get on top of the roof of his car. When she realized he wasn't leaving, but probably just becoming a little bit more insane, she walked slowly over to the car.

"Join me, Agent Lisbon." Jane demanded as he held out his hand to her.

Lisbon smiled and took his hand as he helped her up on top of the car.

Jane lied down first followed by Lisbon. Jane folded his hands across his chest, much to the dismay of Lisbon, who longed for him to touch her again.

They laid there quietly with nothing but the music playing from the car. A few minutes went by and Jane broke the silence.

"_Restless hearts_......." Jane started singing. "_Sleep alone tonight......Sending all my love along the wire_."

"Oh, no." Lisbon started laughing uncontrollably at his singing.

Jane propped his head up with his elbow so that he was facing Lisbon, who looked at him with the utmost uncertainty.

"What? It's my favorite song." Jane said innocently.

Lisbon had no words all she could do was laugh. Her laughter ceased when she felt his free hand touch her face.

"I love your laugh." Jane said as his eyes twinkled brightly in the moonlight.

"Jane-" Lisbon started protesting, as she saw where this might be leading.

"Shhh."

Jane lifted Lisbon's chin so that he could get a better view of her face. There was no going back now. Jane lowered his head to Lisbon's so that they were nose to nose. He closed his eyes capturing the scent of her and the feeling of the moment. It's what he wanted. Wanted it for so long. Now it was true.

All they ever really wanted, was each other.

* * *

**Hope you guys enjoyed it!**

RnR if you please. :) 

**-Kai  
**


	6. Beautiful

**A/N: Um... No need to explain this chapter. Ya'll will probably have a enough to say after you read it. **

**A huge thank you to all that reviewed from last chapter. It means so much to me that you guys are really enjoying the series. I only hope that I can keep you guys entertained and happy as the chapters/songs go on. Thank you to: Divinia Serit, JollyRancher543321, CSI-4077, PhoenixWytch, JisboneyGoodness36, FallIntoAHellCalledLove, Megan, Americanchick, WildDaisies10, yasminbanu786, JocelynMcC, GSRFanatic123, x-gemarrrr, 7. **

**Oh, a couple of you had some suggestions/questions: The reason I haven't used their first names......well, um, no reason really, but I'm sure eventually I will use them on a first name basis. Also someone mentioned they wanted to suggest songs, which I'm fine with, even though I have all the songs picked out. However if you do submit a song, and I think it's a good choice I might kick out another song and shuffle it into the mix. I have the songs on shuffle in a play list, so I have to do whatever comes up when I press play. And I have to say I've been a good girl about it.  
**

**I know someone stated that they'd like to see the last chapter continue. I'm working on it....... ;) **

**Disclaimer: Crap, I'm still no the owner of The Mentalist. I really thought that dream was real last night. Or the song.  
**

**

* * *

**

**Song: Beautiful**

**Artist: Jennifer Paige**

* * *

_**I'm looking for a way to feel you hold me  
To feel your heart beat just one more time  
I'm reaching back, trying to touch the moment  
Each precious minute that you were mine  
How do you prepare, when you love someone this way,  
To let them go a little more each day?**_

Lisbon stood there, trying to find a way to remember all the times they had. All she really wanted in this moment was to feel him holding her and to feel his heart beating against hers.

But every time she tried to capture the moment, it was wiped away with the reality of what really was. Jane was no longer hers, and she didn't know how to let go of the love she had for him.

"_OK, it's not funny anymore Jane." Lisbon called out as she walked down the hall of her house. "If you don't come out right now, I swear I'm canceling our date for tomorrow." _

_When it remained silent, Lisbon stopped where she was. She felt him behind her, even though he wasn't even touching her. _

"_Now that wouldn't be very nice, dear."_

_"Jane, if you so much as think of it, I swear to you on my grave that-" Lisbon was cut off by the water balloon, that Jane had hanging over her head, breaking and soaking her hair and clothes. _

"_What were you saying?" _

_Lisbon stared directly ahead with a half smile on her face, not wanting to turn around and let Jane see that she actually was having fun. _

"_That's it. You're a dead man." _

"_Oh come on, Lisbon, I know your enjoying this." _

_Lisbon's smile disappeared at the sound of his conceited voice. _

"_You have 5 seconds. No make that 1." _

_When Lisbon turned around, Jane was gone. _

_**The stars we put in place  
The dreams we didn't waste  
The sorrows we embraced  
The world belonged to you and me  
The oceans that we crossed  
The innocence we've lost  
The hurting at the end  
I go there again  
´Cause it was beautiful  
It was beautiful**_

All of it just seemed unfair to her. Why did she have to be hurt? Why did she have to love him this much? They had everything together. They had built their house together, they had planned their dreams together. Everything was at their fingertips, but yet not quite in their hands.

"_I surrender." Lisbon's words were music to Jane's ears. _

_Lisbon stood at the kitchen sink, completely out of ammo. Jane appeared out of the living room bouncing the only water balloon left in the house in his hand. _

"_What are you doing?" Lisbon asked, though she really knew what his intentions were. _

_Jane walked toward her slowly, keeping his eyes locked on hers. _

"_I'm soaking wet Jane. I've surrendered. What more do you want?" Lisbon pleaded as he stood right in front of her, with just inches separating their bodies. _

_Jane gave her a mischievous grin that almost made her forget about the payback she was going to ensue on the man. _

"_You." Jane replied as he wrapped his free arm around her waist and hoisted her up on top of the counter. Lisbon wrapped her legs around Jane's waist and pulled him straight into a kiss. She made sure it was a kiss he wouldn't want to end quickly, as she slid her tongue into his mouth and explored every inch. He responded with a slight moan, telling her he wasn't about to pull away anytime soon. _

_Lisbon took her hand and grabbed his hand that was holding the water balloon. _

"_Touch me." Lisbon whispered as she pulled away from their kiss for just a moment. _

_At the sound of her pleading with him, Jane dropped the balloon and let it fall to the floor, breaking upon impact. Lisbon smiled against their kiss, knowing now that all his ammo was now gone, too. _

_Jane proceeded to do as Lisbon asked and she felt his hand going up her wet shirt, reaching under her bra to her breast. She could hear his heart racing and she could feel his excitement on her inner thigh._

_ It's time to cool him off, Lisbon thought. _

_As she kept her one hand busy in his hair, wrapping the curls around her fingers, she let her free hand reach for the faucet sprayer. She quickly turned on the water and let the sprayer do the work aiming it right for his face and hair as he pulled away from their kiss and put his arms up to try and block the water. _

_Lisbon kept her place on the counter and laughed as she continued to spray him. _

"_I surrender." Jane called out. _

"_What?" Lisbon asked as if she didn't hear him. "I couldn't hear you." _

"_I surrender." Jane repeated. _

_Lisbon smiled, satisfied in her revenge, and shut the water off and let the sprayer fall into the sink. Jane looked at her, now soaking wet. _

"_We're even." Lisbon smiled. _

_Jane grabbed her around the waist and hoisted her onto his hips so that her legs were wrapped around his body. He didn't have to say any words. She was surrendering to him once again. _

_**Some days missing you is overwhelming  
When it hits me you're not coming back  
And in my darkest hours, I have wondered  
Was it worth it for the time we had?  
My thoughts get kinda scattered, but one thing I know is true  
I bless the day that I found you**_

Lisbon couldn't over come the sorrow that was coming over her. She hadn't cried in days, but thinking back at their finer moments just made her angry. She knew he wasn't coming back and she couldn't help but think if all the happiness was worth all the pain in the long run.

"_Rigsby?" Lisbon yelled out to him. _

_Lisbon had just arrived at the crime scene. It was a lead they had on Red John, and she wanted full detail on it. She had to call Jane and cancel the date that she had threated to end the night before. He would want to be here anyways.  
_

"_Boss? What are you doing here?" Rigsby asked, but looking completely distracted. _

"_Minelli said you guys took a lead on Red John." _

"_There's no lead. He struck again." Rigsby looked around before looking back at Lisbon. _

"_I see that. Where's the victim?" _

"_She's OK. She's in the ambulance. Van Pelt is going to ride with her to the hospital." Rigsby said in an almost exhasperated voice. He tried not to give her too much eye contact, in fear that she would see through him. But she had already noticed something was off.  
_

"_What aren't you telling me, Rigsby? And why is your face all red?" _

_Rigsby's face went pale just as Cho arrived at his side. Lisbon turned to Cho to see that his eyes weren't exactly the normal dark black they usually were, they had a glossy look to them. _

"_Cho?" Lisbon soon realized what was going on and her face went limp. "Where's Jane?" _

_Lisbon shot glances at both Cho and Rigsby, who stared at her with helplessness in their eyes. Lisbon looked past them to the house where the yellow tape was wrapped around. She saw law officials and medical personal moving swiftly in and out of the house. _

"_Boss-" Cho started to talk but was soon cut off by Lisbon trying to move past them. _

_Rigsby grabbed her by the arm. _

"_Let me go." Lisbon demanded as she tried to get out of his grip. _

_Rigsby wrapped his arms around her chest so that she couldn't move. _

"_I have to see him." Lisbon pleaded with tears now forming in her eyes. _

"_You don't was to see him like that." Rigsby whispered to her. _

_He held onto her tightly as she sunk into his chest and he followed her as she slowly fell to the ground. _

_**The rules we stepped aside  
The fear that we defied  
The thrill of the ride  
The fire in our hearts that burned  
The oceans that we crossed  
The innocence we've lost  
The hurting at the end  
I go there again  
´Cause it was beautiful  
So beautiful  
It was beautiful**_

"_I don't think I've ever felt like this before." Lisbon revealed as she looked into Jane's eyes. _

"_You don't have to explain." _

"_I don't care what happens from here on out. I want to be with you, Jane. Minelli can take his rules and-"_

"_Lisbon." Jane said quietly. "Please stop talking." _

_Right then and there, Jane took her into their first of many passionate kisses that they would share over the rest of their relationship. She could feel the fire in her heart burning for him. And she knew somehow he was feeling the same. He slid his hand through her hair and pulled her closer to him so that she could feel how much he wanted her. _

Moments like that were the reason why she could never regret their relationship. She would remember the laughter, the love, the pain, and the tears.

She lay a flower on the ground in front of his stone, and rubbed her fingertips across his name that was etched into the granite surface.

"I love you, Patrick." She whispered softly.

She was able to walk away knowing that nothing could destroy what they had shared.

Because it was beautiful, so beautiful.

* * *

**RnR. **


	7. In Your Eyes

**A/N: OK, so this chapter gave me a some trouble. I thought I knew what I was going to do but I turned around and did something completely different. *smiles* I hope it's a good chapter for you guys. This is my favorite song of all time, I hope I did it some justice.  
**

**Also, I'm really sorry I didn't update last night but my friends and I went to the Rascal Flatts concert last nighttttt!!!!!!! wOOt! (That kind of gives aways where I live. Haha.) They were amazing as always. It was my forth time seeing them and they just get better and better. *sigh* Anyways, I'm going to try and put up two tomorrow because my vacation starts Monday and I'm not sure when I'll be able to have another up in the upcoming days. **

**Thanks to the following who left me lovely reviews: Divinia Serit, MentalistLover, Madaboutthementalist, PhoenixWytch, yasminbanu786, GSRFanatic123, 7, FallIntoAHellCalledLove, WildDaisies10, Ameicanchick, JollyRancher543321, and x-gemarrrr. You guys are awesome! Thanks for all the lovelyness you leave every chapter, and yes I know I killed Jane. *tear***

**Disclaimer: Don't own The Mentalist or the song. And sadly I do not own any of the Rascal Flatt's men, either.  
**

* * *

**Song: In Your Eyes**

**Artist(s): Jeffrey Gaines (Version I Used) or if you prefer the original Peter Gabriel**

* * *

_**Love I get so lost, sometimes  
Days pass and this emptiness fills my heart  
When I want to run away  
I drive off in my car  
But whichever way I go  
I come back to the place you are**_

_**All my instincts, they return  
And the grand facade, so soon will burn  
Without a noise, without my pride  
I reach out from the inside**_

Lost.

It was one thing Patrick Jane never was.

Yet, there he was, sitting in his car outside her house. He hadn't felt like this since his wife and child were killed, at his expense. Empty and lost.

No matter what his intentions were when he got in his car to run away from the pain, he always ended up back to where she was. This time, though, she wasn't there.

He knew she wouldn't be there. She'd been gone for two weeks now. His instincts were to go inside her house and wait till she got back, but he knew the reality was infeasible.

He wanted to hear the silence broken by the bickering they made and he wanted to feel the pride he would have when he proved to her that he was the man that she wanted.

_**In your eyes  
The light, the heat  
In your eyes  
I am complete  
In your eyes  
I see the doorway to a thousand churches  
In your eyes  
The resolution of all the fruitless searches  
In your eyes  
I see the light and the heat  
In your eyes  
Oh, I want to be that complete  
I want to touch the light  
The heat I see in your eyes**_

All he needed in this moment, was to see her emerald's looking back at him and telling him it was all OK. That he'd be alright. It was all he needed to hear. He needed to see the light in her eyes that showed him the way out of the darkness. And the warmth of her eyes that made the coldness in his life fade away.

It's all he needed. He could see it all in her eyes.

_**Love, I don't like to see so much pain  
So much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away  
I get so tired of working so hard for our survival  
I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive**_

He stood outside her office, watching her.

She sat in her office doing paper work. She had been back for a week now and he virtually avoided any alone time with her. He knew what would happen if he got in a room alone with her. The pain was unbearable. He just wanted all of it to go away. He wanted to tell her how he was feeling. But every moment was wasted when he remembered what it might cost her if he did.

He was tired of pretending. He worked too hard to get where he was today. Finally being able to love again, but yet not being able to be with the woman he loved. It was torture and the worst part was she wasn't dead. She was right in front of him. And she was slipping away from him.

Feeling alive was one of the many things that she did to him. He knew being around her was the best thing for him. She was the only one who understood him, but at the same time she didn't quite understand how much she meant to him.

_**And all my instincts, they return  
And the grand facade, so soon will burn  
Without a noise, without my pride  
I reach out from the inside**_

Everything he was afraid of disappeared when he saw Lisbon look up from her work caught him watching her. He took advantage of the moment and walked right into her office, shutting the door behind him and closing the blinds to all the windows.

His sudden bizarre behavior made her stand up from her desk and come over to him. She stood directly behind him as he pulled the last blind down.

The wall he had built between them was burning to the ground. Readying him for the moment he was about to share with her.

_**In your eyes  
The light, the heat  
In your eyes  
I am complete  
In your eyes  
I see the doorway to a thousand churches  
In your eyes  
The resolution of all the fruitless searches  
In your eyes  
I see the light and the heat  
In your eyes  
Oh, I want to be that complete  
I want to touch the light  
The heat I see in your eyes  
In your eyes, in your eyes  
In your eyes, in your eyes  
In your eyes, in your eyes**_

"Jane?" Lisbon's eyes were studying him as to find something wrong. "Is everything OK?"

Jane said nothing as he turned to her and looked in her eyes looking for what he longed to find. The search ended much quicker than he intended. He found what he needed.

"Jane?" She looked a bit more concerned when she realized a smile was forming on his face.

"I see it."

"See what?"

"It's in your eyes." Jane said as he looked deep into her eyes, studying them to make sure he wasn't imagining.

"Well that's comforting to know." Lisbon said as if she knew what he was talking about.

"It is for me."

"Jane, what are you talking about?"

"You're my resolution, Lisbon."

Lisbon looked him and tried to speak, but no words seemed fitting in the moment. She continued to look into his eyes, not knowing that she was bringing the light back into his eyes.

The heat between them was becoming unbearable for him. He needed to touch her. To feel it. Jane brought his hand up to her neck, caressing her cheek with his thumb.

She wanted to pull away. This was wrong.

"Jane." Lisbon looked down. She slightly shook her head, hoping that would rid her off his touch. With no such luck, she looked back to him, knowing she should end what he was trying to start. "I'm married."

"To the wrong man." Jane said quietly protesting.

Tears were now forming in Lisbon's eyes, confusion was setting in, and now she wasn't sure what to feel or think.

"How can you say that? You stood there at our wedding. You watched me marry him. You saw how happy I was. Jane you gave me away!" Lisbon yelled at him.

Jane brought his other hand up to the other side of her cheek and pulled her head to his. He leaned his forehead against hers. He could feel her shaking as she put her hands around his wrists, but she didn't remove them.

"I know. I know I did." Jane admitted.

"Then why? Why now?" Lisbon closed her eyes.

"I realized that when you're not around I-I'm lost. I'm empty." Jane stepped away from her just enough to look into her eyes, but kept his hands in place. She opened her eyes when she felt him move away from her. "I see it in your eyes. You complete me, Lisbon."

Before she could say anything, Jane pulled her back to him, but this time pressing his lips to hers. She was all he needed, and he was going to show her.

He wanted to be complete, in only her eyes.

* * *

**RnR if you like. **


	8. Want To

**A/N: I've been asked to give warning when there's fluff and angst, and I agree with that. So here's a little bit of fluff. Not so much. But no real angst. Another chapter/song will be up later, most likely later tonight. **

**Thanks to: FallInToAHellCalledLove, PhoenixWytch, 7, yasminbanu786, JocelynMcC, and JollyRancher543321. You reviews are wonderful as always, and I really appreciate your support.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. The show or the song. Or the beer. :) **

**

* * *

**

** Song: Want To **

**Artist(s): Sugarland**

* * *

_**I've packed a cooler and a change of clothes  
Let's jump and see how far it goes  
You got my heart and your daddy's boat  
We got all night to make it float  
We could sit on the shore, we could just be friends  
Or we could jump in**_

Lisbon was excited. It was their weekend off, and Jane had invited them all for a overnight stay on a boat he had rented. She packed a cooler full of drinks and food and packed herself some extra clothes. She pulled into the port at 10 in the morning, and realized she was the last to arrive.

Cho was on the dock contemplating how he was going to make it the rest of the weekend. Boats weren't his thing, but he was being a sport about it. His shades were on so you couldn't see his eyes that gave away all the fear that was really consuming him at the moment.

As she walked closer, Cho ran over to her and grabbed the cooler from her.

"Let me take that boss."

"Will it get you on the boat, Cho?"

"Depends." Cho said. "What's in it?"

"Corona. Jim Beam. Ten Penny."

Just then Rigsby popped his head out from the cock pit of the boat. "Boss!" Rigbsy gretted her with a big smile. "Did I hear Ten Penny Ale?"

"Yes, Rigsby." Lisbon said smiling back at him.

"All right. This trip has officially started." Rigsby pointed at her and then headed back into the cock pit.

"You ready?" Lisbon asked as she looked at Cho, who was still nervous as could be.

"Yeah. Sure. It can't be that bad, right?" Cho said with out fear in his voice.

Cho boarded the boat followed by Lisbon. Van Pelt came up from the cabin below as Lisbon stepped onto the boat.

"You got Cho on the boat." Van Pelt said with full surprise.

Lisbon looked at Cho suspiciously. "How long have you been standing there, exactly?"

"Not long." Cho said defensively.

"Not true. It was about 45 minutes." Van Pelt said with full disclosure.

Cho looked away from both the girls.

"You're on now. That's what counts." Lisbon said supportively.

Lisbon looked around before looking back at Van Pelt. "Where's Jane?"

"Not sure. He said something about checking lights on the pulp."

Lisbon smiled. "Pulpit. It's the front of the boat."

"Oh. Do you want me to bring your stuff down?" Van Pelt asked.

"Sure." Lisbon handed Van Pelt her bag. "Thanks."

"I'm coming too." Cho said as he followed Van Pelt down to the bottom of the boat.

Lisbon looked toward the front of the boat, with her hand over her eyes. It was a beautiful day. The sun was out and the temperature was perfect.

She spotted him leaning over the boat and walked over to him. He was out of his work attire and into white pants with a blue t-shirt.

"Hey, there."

Jane turned around and met her gaze. His baby blues matched his shirt perfectly. He smiled at the sight of her.

"You made it."

"How could I pass this up?" Lisbon asked.

In that moment she realized she was looking forward to more than just having a weekend away with friends. She was hoping to become more than friends with one in particular. He already had her heart, anyways. She was ready to jump in if he was willing to let her.

_**Whole world could change in a minute  
Just one kiss could stop this spining  
We could think it through  
But I don't want to, if you don't want to  
We could keep things just the same  
Leave here the way we came, with nothing to lose  
But I don't want to, if you don't want to**_

They had left the port at noon. They were cruising down the shoreline of California, headed towards a harbor just south of San Francisco.

Rigsby came into the cock pit and offered to take over from Jane. Jane accepted and went off to find Lisbon. He found her and Van Pelt soaking up the rays in their bikini's on the deck in the front of the boat.

"We're twenty minutes to port." Jane said as he bent down to Lisbon's level and watched her as she sat up.

Van Pelt watched them both and then stood up. "I'm going to go see how Cho's doing."

After Van Pelt disappeared into the cabin, Jane sat down where she had been lying and wrapped his arms around his knees.

Lisbon looked over to him. She wanted to kiss him and hope that the world would just stop in that moment. Or maybe she should just be thankful for the relationship they did have. What was wrong with the way things were now?

_**I got your ring around my neck  
And a couple of nights I don't regret  
You got a dream of a degree  
And a shirt that smells like me  
Yeah we both got dreams, we could chase alone  
Or we could make our own**_

They arrived at the port just as the sun was setting. Cho popped his head out as soon as he heard Rigsby yell, "Drop anchor, we've reached land!"

Van Pelt just smiled at his pirate impression and shook her head.

Lisbon and Jane watched at the pulpit as the anchor went down. When it stopped they both took a seat back on the deck where Lisbon had been lying down.

"It's going to be a beautiful night." Jane said as he looked up into the sky.

Lisbon looked at him and started remembering all the nights they had spent just sitting around and talking about their dreams and plans. She wished she could tell him that she sees him in her dreams. That he is part of her plan. Maybe it was better to chase their dreams alone. But how wonderful would it be to chase their dreams down together.

_**Whole world could change in a minute  
Just one kiss could stop this spining  
We could think it through  
But I don't want to, if you don't want to  
We could keep things just the same  
Leave here the way we came, with nothing to lose  
But I don't want to, if you don't want to**_

Cho was off the boat in a second. As he stood on the dock he looked up to Lisbon and Jane.

"We're going out to dinner. You guys coming?"

Lisbon looked over to Jane. She could already tell what his answer was going to be. He wasn't going anywhere. The stars were burning brightly in the sky and the moon's reflection in the water was stunning. He was perfectly content where he was.

"You guys enjoy." Lisbon called down.

Jane looked over to Lisbon, looking a little shocked to her answer. Jane looked over to Cho, who was now joined by Van Pelt and Rigsby.

"Don't worry about us. Have fun." Jane added.

Cho just shrugged his shoulders. He walked down the dock followed by Van Pelt and Rigsby.

"What made you stay?"

"It's peaceful. Right here. Like the world isn't even spinning."

Jane was surprised, once again, to her answer. "It could change in any minute, though."

"I know." Lisbon sat up and faced Jane. "I want it to change. Do you?"

_**Never waste another day  
Wonderin' what you threw away  
Holdin me, holdin you  
I don't want to, if you don't want to**_

"What are you really saying, Lisbon?" Jane was seeing through her now.

She didn't want to waste another day and wonder what she might be losing. She could be holding him or he could be holding her. How could she let him know without getting hurt? How could she tell him all the things she wanted to say and risk that he not feel the same way too?"

_**We could keep things just the same  
Leave here the way we came, with nothing to lose  
But I don't want to, if you don't want to  
But I want you**_

Lisbon stood up and walked over to the side deck and looked over the railing. Jane followed her over, waiting for an answer.

"Do you want to jump in?" She asked him, avoiding his question.

A smile fell upon his face. "Only if you want to."

Lisbon grabbed his hand. He stood up on the railing and helped her up. She gave him one last look before they both jumped into the water.

Jane shook his head when he reached the surface. In that moment Lisbon realized it was now or never. She could keep things the way they were or she could risk losing all they had by acting on her feelings.

Lisbon swam over to Jane, closing the few feet there was between them. She saw the smile on his face fade away as she wiped the water off of his cheek. She then ran her thumb across his lips. To her surprise he didn't back away. Nor did he speak. He kept his eyes locked on hers. She seemed to float closer and closer to him until her head was right below his. She didn't know when it happened, but his arm was around her waist, making sure that she didn't go anywhere.

"I want you."

And she proved it by bringing him to her lips and showing him how much she did.

When he didn't pull away, she realized that he too, wanted to.

* * *

**RnR, if you please. **

**- Kai**


	9. Desperado

**A/N: Just a heads up. Someone asked me to post when there will be angst or fluff; so some angst coming up here. Also, very little Lisbon. But it pertains to their relationship. **

**Quick thanks to JollyRancher543321, Americanchick, Divinia Serit (for 7&8), mwalter1, x-gemarrrr, PhoenixWytch, mbleiva24, and FallIntoAHellCalledLove for your reviews. I love reading them and look forward to them after each chapter I write. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the song or The Mentalist. I, like everyone else, wish I did. **

* * *

**Song: Desperado**

**Artist(s): The Eagles**

* * *

_**Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?  
You been out ridin' fences for so long now  
Oh, you're a hard one  
I know that you got your reasons  
These things that are pleasin' you  
Can hurt you somehow**_

Cho arrived at the bull pen just in time to witness the end of the fight between Jane and Lisbon. Normally, they would fight about something Jane did that pissed her off. This time though, it was different.

Lisbon was pissed, but Jane didn't have his normal conceited know-it-all grin. Nor did he look sorry, which normally he wasn't anyways. He looked depressed. And he wouldn't give Lisbon any eye contact.

Jane sat on his couch looking down at his hands, where his fingers slowly danced around. Lisbon stood across from him, almost towering over him.

"I'm so sick of this Jane. Every time I try to help you, you go and do something stupid. You need to pull it together and get yourself off the high fence you put yourself on. I know you've got your reasons for the way you are, but I've had enough. You're going to end up hurting yourself and the people around you someday. And it's not going to be me."

Lisbon finished her speech and waited for him to respond. When he said nothing she just shook her head and walked away, right past Cho and out of the building.

_**Don't you draw the queen of diamonds, boy  
She'll beat you if she's able  
You know the queen of hearts is always your best bet  
Now it seems to me, some fine things  
Have been laid upon your table  
But you only want the ones that you cant get**_

Cho went to his desk and put his things down. He looked at Jane, who was still looking down.

"What did you do now?" Cho asked with hesitance. He wasn't sure if he wanted to get involved in one of their squabbles.

"I may have caused a slight ruckus at the church." Jane said without looking up.

"How did you manage to do that?" Cho said completely interested now, as he folded his arms across his chest.

"I may have or may not have mentioned that there was no such thing as heaven or any of that gibberish."

"I can see how Van Pelt would be angry with that, but Lisbon?"

Jane looked up and met Cho's gaze. "There's more." Jane looked back down at his ring and twirled it between his thumb and his fore finger.

Cho sat down in his chair, backwards, towards the couch. "Go on."

Jane let out a small shy smile, before speaking. "I told Lisbon I don't believe in anything anymore. Love, faith, trust, nothing."

"What made you say that?"

"I-I was angry. The priest used my wife and daughter as a way of getting me to believe. Said they were looking down at me from heaven, ashamed of who I've become."

Cho turned around to his desk and pulled something out of one of his drawers and turned back to Jane.

"Come on." Cho nodded his head into the direction of the break room and held up the cards for Jane to see.

"I don't think cards are going to help."

"You could sit there and feel sorry for yourself or you could find a way to fix this."

Five minutes later they had their cards laid upon one of the tables in the break room. War was the game of choice.

"So, is any of it true? Do you not believe in love and happily ever after?"

"There maybe some truth. But not all." Jane looked Cho directly in the eye. "War."

They both flipped their cards over and there on the table laid the queen of hearts and queen of diamonds.

"Ouch." Cho exclaimed.

"What?"

"It's not looking good for you man." Cho just shook his head as he through down his 3 cards, followed by Jane. They both flipped down their last card, revealing a king for Cho and a 6 for Jane.

"Hearts always win." Cho smiled. "You're off your game."

"I don't understand why Lisbon was so upset." Jane confessed.

Cho through down his winnings and leaned back in his chair. "Seriously?"

_**Desperado, oh, you ain't getting' no younger  
Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home  
And freedom, oh freedom well, that's just some people talkin'  
Your prison is walking through this world all alone**_

Jane looked at Cho with curiosity. "I'm curious, do you know why?"

"All your pain and the hunger for revenge you have, it's driving you mad. You can't see anything else other than that, do you?"

"I see you." Jane said sarcastically.

"You're going to walk around this world in your own prison of loneliness because you don't see it."

"I'm not as oblivious as you think."

_**Don't your feet get cold in the winter time?  
The sky won't snow and the sun wont shine  
Its hard to tell the night time from the day  
You're loosin' all your highs and lows  
Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away?**_

"You aren't?" Cho seemed to be the confused one now.

"I've seen it for a while."

"So you've been ignoring it? That's mature." Cho said with a scoff.

"It's not something I can accept."

Cho stared at Jane for a moment, trying to figure him out. He let out a sigh, and then looked away.

"You don't sleep at night unless it's here. You have no highs in your life, and when you do it always involves Lisbon. All your secrets are in Lisbon's hands. Don't you find that a little bit ironic?"

_**Desperado, why dont you come to your senses?  
Come down from your fences, open the gate  
It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you  
You better let somebody love you, before its too late**_

"I find it very unusual that you are examining me."

"I'm not examining you, Jane. It's all the truth. You're just too lost in the past to admit it. Lisbon cares about you."

Jane shakes his head as he looks down at his cards. "Lisbon cares about everyone."

"She loves you." Cho stood up. He was done with his psycho analysis for the day.

"Just let her in. Let her love you. Before it's too late."

* * *

**I really enjoyed writing this chapter, I hope you guys do too. :) **

**RnR if you like. **


	10. Wonderful Surprise

**A/N: So I've been in NYC for the past couple days and I'll be here till tomorrow night or Thursday during the day. But I had time tonight to sit and relax after a busy day so I've decided to do one for you guys. I hope you enjoy it. **

**Thanks to Divinia Serit, FallIntoAHellCalledLove, 7(8&9), JocelynMcC, Americanchick, mwalter1, JollyRancher543321, and Ligya Ford-Northman for the reviews. You guys are wonderful and I look forward to reading your reviews each and every chapter. :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Mentalist. Or the song. Simple. **

**

* * *

**

**Song: Wonderful Surprise**

**Artist: Shawn Hlookoff**

* * *

_**I wasn't looking for it  
I wasn't ready for the rain  
I was stumbling, but you were knocking on my door.  
I tried but I could not ignore, your soft eyes  
You had me wrapped around a feeling that just felt so right**_

Jane sat by his fire place, scotch in hand, trying his hardest to forget the day. He couldn't bring himself to do so. It followed him everywhere he went, some days heavier than most. Today, in particular, as it was the anniversary of their deaths.

He wasn't ready when the pain hit him. He wasn't expecting it to be so hard.

When he heard the knock at the door, he wanted to ignore it. Instead, he decided he would open the door and tell whoever it was to go the hell away.

He didn't bother pulling himself together. What was the point? He stumbled to the door and swung it open. When his drunken blues met her sparkling emeralds his face lit up.

"Lisbon?" He said with a new found grin.

"You're a mess." Lisbon looked at him with a mixture of compassion and apathy.

Jane leaned up against the door frame as he looked into her soft eyes. He couldn't ignore the fact that she was there. He was actually happy to see her standing on his porch.

"What kind of mess?"

Lisbon rolled her eyes and walked past him and into his foyer. She quickly noticed the fire in the fire place along with the open bottle of scotch on the table. She folded her arms across her chest and looked over to Jane who was looking back at her, but still leaning against the door frame.

"You've been drinking." Lisbon stated with some disappointment.

Jane immediately closed the door and walked into the living room. Lisbon watched him for a moment before following him.

Jane picked up the scotch bottle and started pouring some into a glass. Lisbon's eyes were drawn to the mantle where a picture stood of his wife and daughter. Lisbon touched the frame of the picture. Jane caught her staring at it and gave half a smile.

"That was taken 3 months prior."

Lisbon quickly put her hand down and looked directly at Jane's sad, but yet twinkling blue eyes.

"They were beautiful."

Jane handed her the glass of scotch and she took it with no hesitance. Jane sat down in front of the fire and patted the space next to him, while looking at Lisbon.

Lisbon looked at him suspiciously and turned her head to the side all the while keeping eye contact with him.

"Oh, come on now, Lisbon, I'm not going to seduce you with a bottle of scotch in front of a fire." Jane put on one of his hard to ignore grins.

Lisbon smiled back and took a seat next to him facing the fire.

"Maybe for a few minutes."

They stared at the fire in silence. She was giving him feelings he was trying so hard to ignore.

_**You're such a wonderful surprise  
I couldn't plan it if I tried  
You turn my darkest days to light  
Like a morning sun, you're such a wonderful surprise**_

They didn't plan on it, but by the end of the night, the bottle of scotch had disappeared. They sat in the darkness, only the fire giving its light, in silence. They didn't have to say anything.

Little did Lisbon know, she was about to be surprised by Jane in a way that she didn't know was possible.

_**I don't think you can do anymore  
You're like the hook in my favorite song  
I wanna sing you  
You're in my heart, you're on my mind  
You pick me up at the lowest times in my life  
Everything happens for a reason and now I see why**_

Jane couldn't think of anything else better than being there in that moment. Lisbon being there in his living room, saying nothing at all, was enough. He didn't need anything else. She didn't need to do anything more, but just be there.

"Thank you."

Lisbon looked over to Jane who continued to stare into the fire.

"For what?"

"Being here. Being you."

Lisbon felt her heart start to race. There was no where else she thought she should be tonight then here with Jane. He was on her mind and in her heart, not only today, but everyday.

"You're welcome." Lisbon seemed to have let her guard down for once. Jane was going to take advantage of this very rare opportunity.

"You've been good to me."

Lisbon was at a loss for words. She looked at him in astonishment. Jane saw this and shrugged his shoulders.

"You have. I don't know how I'm ever going to repay you."

"You don't need to repay me."

"I'm serious Lisbon. You pick me up when I'm at my worst."

"If you'd rather I leave you there-"

Jane cut her off before she could continue. "Everything happens for a reason. You make me see that."

_**You're such a wonderful surprise  
I couldn't plan it if I tried  
You turn my darkest days to light  
Like a morning sun, you're such a wonderful surprise **_

"You've taught me lots of things." Jane looked down at his glass of scotch. "You can plan all the parties and trips and other things that you want in your life, but you can't plan death."

Lisbon put her drink down and then reached for his glass. "I think you've had enough. You're starting to talk crazy."

Jane put his free hand on top of hers as she tried to take away his glass. "I'm not crazy. At least not anymore."

_**You make everything right  
You took me by surprise at the perfect time**_

_**You're such a wonderful surprise  
I couldn't plan it if I tried  
You turn my darkest days to light  
Like a morning sun, you're such a wonderful surprise**_

Lisbon pulled her hand away from his and rubed it against her leg.

"I'm making you uncomfortable." Jane noticed.

"No." Lisbon said bashfully.

"You're blushing." Jane said with a smile. "Now I've embarrassed you."

"OK, stop analyzing me." Lisbon ordered.

He couldn't help it though, watching her there in that moment. She looked beautiful in the fire's light with her hair spread around her shoulders just right. She was perfect in that spot. On his living room floor. In his house. With him.

Everything seemed right in that moment.

"You make everything better."

"How so?" Lisbon asked curiously.

"You always surprise me."

"And what would surprise you now?" Lisbon asked as she leaned toward him and grabbed the new, unopened, bottle of scotch.

He wasn't sure if he was dreaming in that moment or if she was actually as close as he thought she was. He grabbed the bottle to stop her from moving back to where she was and pulled her in for a kiss that lasted longer than he expected it to.

He found his hand on the small of her back while his other hand made its way into her hair. Not wanting her to go anywhere he pulled her closer. He soon realized she wasn't planning on going anywhere as he felt her arms wrap around his neck.

He pulled away and opened his eyes just in time to meet her gaze. He caressed her check causing her to blush.

"That was a wonderful surprise."

* * *

**Thanks so much for reading. **

**RnR. **

**- Kai**


	11. Have I Told You Lately?

**A/N: This song took me literally, 5 minutes to come up with a complete outline. It was so easy. It's not long but I think it came out quite cute. :) I hope you guys enjoy it. **

**Quick thank you to mwalter1, Divinia Serit, JollyRancher543321, FallIntoAHellCalledLove, PhoenixWytch(9&10), and yasminebanu786(9&10) for your reviews. I really appreciate it! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything here, the show or the song. **

**

* * *

**

**Song: Have I Told You Lately?**

**Artist: Rod Stewart  
**

* * *

_**Have I told you lately that I love you?  
Have I told you there's no one else above you?  
Fill my heart with gladness  
Take away all my sadness  
Ease my troubles that's what you do  
**_

It was a warm summer night at Cho's house warming party. Close colleagues and friends filled the house with warmth and laughter.

Cho had a bar built on his covered patio, along with a beautiful built in outside cooking area. He showed it off with all the food he had cooked.

The night was dwindling down and as people started to leave Jane took a seat at the bar with his drink. He had done some mingling, meeting some of Cho's friends outside of the work place. All night though, no one was above the person he was thinking of most. He only had eyes for one person.

He had never seen her this social, this happy, or this at ease. Maybe that's what he did to her.

_**For the morning sun in all it's glory  
Meets the day with hope and comfort too  
You fill my life with laughter, somehow you make it better  
Ease my troubles, that's what you do  
**_

He watched her from a distance. He didn't want to ruin the view he had.

She had mingled with him for a short time earlier. After he made her blush for the third time she excused herself and mingled about the rest of her night by herself.

He didn't mind. If she was smiling so was he and if she was laughing he would let out a small chuckle himself. He didn't care if people thought he was crazy. He was happy crazy. Crazy in love.

Everything was better when he was with her. Every day brought a new ray of sunshine to his life. It didn't matter if it was morning, noon, or night, she comforted him in more ways than one. She brought him to an understanding of life and death. She helped him realize that the most important things in life can't be taken for granted.

_**There's a love less defined  
And its yours and its mine  
Like the sun  
And at the end of the day  
We should give thanks and pray  
To the one, to the one  
**_

She defined him. Made him complete. The love they had now was all he needed.

When he looked at her, he saw everything he wanted to be. He saw everything he wanted. At the end of every day he wanted to thank who ever sent her his way. His past might have be filled with pain and ugliness, but his future was bright as the sun.

_**Have I told you lately that I love you?  
Have I told you there's no one else above you?  
Fill my heart with gladness, take away all my sadness  
Ease my troubles, that's what you do  
There's a love less defined  
And its yours and its mine  
Like the sun  
And at the end of the day  
We should give thanks and pray  
To the one, to the one**_

He had decided he had enough watching others take their time with her. He wanted her to himself. He took one last sip of his drink and made his way over to her.

"Excuse me." Jane nodded toward the men who she was talking to.

He slipped his hand around the small of her back and leaned into her ear.

"What do you say we get out of here?" he said huskily.

She looked up at him with her big emerald eyes and smiled. She didn't even bother looking back at the men she had been talking too. She was succumbed to the man who had taken her breath away.

They said their goodbyes to Cho and thanked him for a wonderful night.

They arrived back at their house just before midnight. Lisbon through her bag down on the couch as soon as they got in the door. Jane took her arm and dragged her back to him. Pulling her close to his chest, he wrapped his arms around her waist, making sure she couldn't get out of his grip. She, in turn, wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Have I told you lately that I love you?" Jane asked her losing himself in her eyes.

"Care to remind me?" She stood up on her tippy toes so that she was closer to his face.

"I love you." He gave her a smile before placing a small soft kiss upon her forehead.

"I love you too."

* * *

**RnR if you like. **


	12. Breathless

**A/N: I am so sorry that I didn't post a song the other night. I was going to when I got home from my trip, only to find that when I got home, we had lost power while I was away and the internet was down. I had to wait for a friend to come and fix my router. The good news is that it's fixed and I may have another song for you later tonight. :) **

**This chapter is a bit different, I don't know if it's a better one of mine or what. I'm kind of partial to it, but then again I don't know what to think of it. So let me know who you're feeling about this chapter. Thanks so much!  
**

**Quick thanks to Divnia Serit, FallIntoAHellCalledLove, mwalter1, GSRFanatic123, 7, PhoenixWytch, JollyRancher543321, and x-gemarrrr for their reviews. They were wonderful as usual! :) **

**Un-beta'ed as usual. All errrors are mine. :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Mentalist. Or the song. **

**

* * *

**

**Song: Breathless**

**Artist(s): Better Than Ezra**

* * *

_**Here you are now  
Fresh from your war  
Back from the edge of time  
And all that you were,  
Stripped to the bone  
I thought you­'d want to know**_

She had been in the house for over 5 hours, holding a gun on the man who had taken her prisoner just eight months prior. He had kept her locked in a padded room in a cabin in the woods for four days. No food, only water. Luckily, the team found her, due to an error the kidnapper made.

However, they weren't as fortunate to catch him. It took 7 months to track him down. For Lisbon to track him down. She then watched him for a month, waiting for an opportunity to be alone with him. When no one else would know.

Fortunately, Jane had been on top of her since the traumatic incident. He kept a close eye on everything she did. He alerted one of the other agents anytime he thought she had a lead.

He knew she wasn't the same. And he didn't know how to help her get back to the person she used to be. Maybe she never would. Every time he had the chance, he would try and strip her down, read her, try and let her know what she had become: depressed, cold, obsessive, and distant.

The sirens of the police and ambulance parked outside the house were fading and the people all seemed to disappear as he saw her walk out of the house, untouched, with the man of her nightmares beside her in handcuffs and a gun in her hand.

He let out the breath he had been holding for so long, relieved that she had ended the war she had been fighting for so long.

_**That when you feel the world is crashing  
All around your feet  
Come running headlong into my arms  
Breathless  
I'll never judge you  
I can only love you  
Come now running headlong  
Into my arms  
Breathless**_

He watched as Cho and Rigsby took the man from her and put him into the nearest car. Van Pelt, along with two paramedics, ran over to Lisbon. Jane could see her wave them off, saying she was fine.

The paramedics walked away, hesitantly, as Minelli approached her. He brought her into an embrace, thankful that she was OK, and that she made the right choice. As she held onto Minelli she locked eyes with Jane.

She could see the terrified but solace in his eyes.

He would never judge her, for he had been in the same predicament with a case of his own. She now knew how he felt about revenge and obsession. It took up all her strength and all her sleep.

_**Lay down your guns  
Too weak to run  
Nothing can harm you here  
Your precious heart  
Broken and scarred  
Somehow you made it through  
I only ask that you won't go again**_

Minelli backed away from their embrace as she broke her eye contact with Jane. Minelli motioned for her gun and she lifted it up and handed it to him. He nodded to her before he walked away from her.

Van Pelt put a hand on her shoulder and gave her a reassuring look, before following Minelli back to his car.

Lisbon was afraid to look up. Afraid to find he was gone. But when she finally raised her head, she found he had not moved. He was too far away though. She needed to be closer to him, but she couldn't find the strength to run to him.

Somehow, though, she found her feet moving. Broken and scared she needed him.

_**When you feel the world is crashing  
All around your feet  
Come running headlong into my arms  
Breathless  
I'll never judge you  
I can only love you  
Come now running headlong  
Into my arms  
Breathless**_

She felt as if the world was about to come falling down around her. She needed to get to him fast, before it was too late.

She found herself running, with all the strength she didn't know she had. His arms seemed to fall in front of himself as he saw her approaching. He couldn't wait to feel her, hold her, and tell her how he never wanted to feel as scared as he didn moments ago.

Finally, she was touching him, gripping around his neck as if she was going to fall. She never wanted to let go. He never wanted to let go. She was out of breath, panting in his arms. She closed her eyes as she held tighter and tighter to him. He had his arms wrapped around her small frame, loosely, afraid to hold on too tight.

She saw her life go by her just months ago, and now she was seeing it again, though this time from a different imprisonment.

As he closed his eyes, he took in the feeling of having her in his arms.

_**So glad to see you smiling  
So good to hear your laugh  
I think that you've found you even  
Missed yourself  
I'm only asking this because I think that  
Truth be told  
You'll never go again  
Again**_

He gently pulled her away from his body so that he could take a look at her. He wanted to see her fully.

He cupped her face in his hands as he looked into her eyes. And for the first time in months he could see what he had missed so much. She was back.

She couldn't help herself when she started smiling, then laughing, which eventually turned into tears. She was overcome with a emotions and overwhelmed by the events that had taken place.

"Please don't ever go." She begged of him.

"As long as you don't ever go again." He said reasoning with her.

_**When you feel the world is crashing  
All around your feet  
Come running headlong into my arms  
Breathless  
I'll never judge you  
I can only love you  
Come now running headlong  
Into my arms  
Breathless**_

He pulled her to his frame and held her close, tightly this time, showing her he wasn't going anywhere.

She let out a breath, comforted by the man who loved her. She would be okay, even if the world did come crashing down, for she was in the arms of the man she loved.

And for once in her life she was breathless in the best way possible.

* * *

**RnR if you please. :) **

**- Kai **


	13. Everybody

**A/N: So I was able to complete another song for you guys tonight. It's short. But sweet. No real romance in this one. Unless you want to perceive it that way. More of a friendship song/chapter. Anyways, I really enjoyed writing this one because it kind of let me take a break from all the angsty/romance/drama of their whole relationship from the previous chapters I have written. I hope you guys enjoy it. **

**I'm not going to do TY's this Chapter because I've posted two so close together. So next Chapter which will either be up tomorrow during the day or early Sunday morning, will have TY's from both this Chapter and the previous one. :) **

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist or the wonderfully amazing song. Or Keith Urban. :( **

**

* * *

**

**Song: Everybody **

**Artist: Keith Urban **

* * *

_**So here you are now, nowhere to turn  
It's just the same old yesterday  
You made a promise to yourself  
That you were never gonna be this way  
And the only thing that you've ever know is to run  
So you keep on drivin' faster into the sun**_

"You've been careless."

"I disagree."

"Of course you do. You don't get it do you?"

"I don't think _you_ do, sir."

"It's not about how many cases you close, it's how you close them."

"We've closed all our cases by the books. It may not always be morally right, but it's always legal."

"If you don't get a handle on your team, you may not have a team. Do you understand?"

Lisbon was left speechless. He always left her speechless.

Jane stood around the corner listening to the conversation. When he knew the Attorney General was gone, he slipped around the corner to her office, popping only his head in.

"Hey." Jane said shyly.

Lisbon, who was standing at her desk with her back to the door, looked over to the door. He could tell she was on the verge of tears.

"What do you want Jane?"

"I'm sorry." Jane said sympathetically. She realized he had witnessed the whole conversation, not that she was surprised. Everyone would have heard it if they were there.

"Don't be. It's not your fault." She put some things in a folder and threw it on her desk.

Jane brought his full body into her office and closed her office door gently.

"We can talk-", Jane didn't finish his sentence.

Lisbon seemed to let go a little bit and leaned up against her desk. She shook her head as she turned her eyes toward the ground. She was ashamed of letting the team down by not defending them strong enough. She never thought she would feel like this. Jane took a seat on her couch.

"I'm just going to go home." Jane's eyes were glued to her. She couldn't break the hold.

"Running's not the answer, Lisbon."

_**But everybody needs somebody sometimes  
Everybody needs somebody sometimes**_

"I'm not running." Lisbon said softly, unconvincingly.

As he looked in her eyes, trying to find a way to make it all better, he found something completely different.

She needed someone. But he wasn't sure if that somebody could be him.

_**You don't have to find your own way out  
You've got a voice let it be heard  
Just when it feels you're on a dead-end road  
There's always somewhere left to turn  
So don't give up now**_

_**You're so close to a brand new day  
Yes you are  
And if you just can bare to be alone then I'll stay**_

"Then what do you call it?" He almost whispered.

"I call it going home and-", it was then she realized she didn't have an answer.

She was at a dead end. She was at a loss for words.

"You shouldn't punish yourself."

"I don't."

"You don't have to put up your guard with me. You don't have to defend the team's actions either. If he can't see the good we do, then the hell with him. He can fire us all and bring in a new team, and it still wouldn't change the fact that you, Lisbon, you are the reason this team works. It's not me. I might make all the trouble and be able to read people well, but you are the reason we work so well together. Your the reason this team his a success. And you're also why I keep my sanity." Jane smiled hoping for a similar response from Lisbon. "Don't give up on yourself."

Jane stood up to leave, feeling he could do no more than tell her what he thought.

"Please stay." She didn't want to be alone. And she wouldn't have to beg.

_**'Cause everybody needs somebody sometimes  
Everybody needs somebody sometimes**_

She needed someone. She knew that.

But was Jane the right person?

He had enough issues of his own, would it be fair for her to burden him with her own needs?

_**Well maybe I've been too caught up  
To see what you've been going through  
All that I can say is that I'm here now**_

"I'm not giving up on myself, Jane."

Jane nodded. "I know."

"I just don't want to let the team down."

Jane walked over to her desk and leaned up against it so that he was standing beside her.

"I know I've always been caught up in Red John. And I've neglected to see the trouble I cause you. And I truly am sorry, Lisbon."

Lisbon looked over to him and smiled. A smile he had never seen before.

For the first time he could see that she appreciated what he was saying, believed wholeheartedly what he was saying.

"I'm here now, though."

_**And everybody needs somebody sometimes  
You know they do  
Everybody needs somebody sometimes You've got to have someone beside you Everybody needs somebody sometimes**_

They were both positive they had their answers, now.

"You know everybody needs someone." Jane spoke up after a few moments of silence.

He placed his right hand on her shoulder and stroked the area he was touching with this thumb.

"Maybe I'm your somebody." Jane said with a cunning smile.

"Maybe." Lisbon smiled.

* * *

**RnR if you wish. **

**- Kai **


	14. Hero

**A/N: I think this might be my favorite chapter yet. I'm trying not to be biased. I really loved writing this one. Beware it's a bit angsty. And a bit depressing but it turns out a bit lighter then the beginning. **

**Thank you to mwalter1, 7, Divinia Serit, FallIntoAHellCalledLove, PhoenixWytch, and yasminbanu786 for your reviews on Chapter 12 or Chapter 13 or both! :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Mentalist or this song. **

**

* * *

**

**Song: Hero**

**Artist: Enrique Iglesias **

* * *

_**Would you dance  
If I asked you to dance?  
Would you run  
And never look back?  
Would you cry  
If you saw me crying?  
And would you save my soul, tonight?**_

A knock at her door was the last thing she expected. She just wanted to go to bed. The day had been ransacked with drama caused by none other than Jane. He got too involved in their current case that involved the death of a 7year-old little girl, who happened to be the spitting image of his own. He tried too hard, felt too much, and in the end cost him a bullet in his thigh.

She couldn't possibly pin point who it might be. One of her concerned agents? Her boss? That wouldn't be a surprise. She basically ran out of the office that day and didn't look back. She was avoiding Minelli, in hopes she wouldn't have to hear the "keep your consultant on a leash" speech.

When she opened the door, her tired face shot up in shock.

"What are you doing here, Jane?" Lisbon moved out of the door way to let him in.

He just stood there , in silence. He was dressed in a white t-shirt and his dress pants. He clearly left the hospital, much to the protest of the doctors. But Jane wasn't the type to listen to anyone.

"Come in." Lisbon grabbed his arm and helped him into her house. He limped slowly as she guided him through the door. He grabbed on to the couch and leaned up against it. He was in pain, physically and emotionally. She could see through him completely.

Lisbon closed the door and then turned around to look at him. He was trembling. She had never seen him so unguarded or so vulnerable.

Seeing him on the verge of tears made her go numb. Her mind couldn't help but echo what he was feeling.

He needed someone to save him tonight, she could see it in his eyes, he was begging her not to protest.

_**Would you tremble  
If I touched your lips?  
Would you laugh?  
Please tell me this  
Now would you die  
For the one you loved?  
Hold me in your arms, tonight**_

She walked over to him and helped him over to the couch so that he could sit down.

"I'll go get you some ibuprofen and some water. It'll take away the pain."

Lisbon tried to walk to the kitchen but Jane refused to let go of the grip he had on her wrist. "Jane. Please."

Jane ignored her plead for him to let go. Instead he pulled her wrist bringing her in front of him. He pulled her down so that she was on her knees in front of him.

"You should be in the hospital. I know you don't like to take orders and that you hate the food. You could get an infection or you could rip your stitches out. Be reasonable for once Jane! Let me take-" She was interrupted by his finger that he laid across her lips.

The warmth of his skin on hers made a shiver go up her spine. She wasn't sure what to do. He wasn't going to let her bring him anywhere. She pulled back when she felt her lips start to tremble. She realized Jane was gripping tighter to her wrist.

"OK. No hospital."

Lisbon pulled her body onto the couch to sit next to Jane. He didn't waste anytime lying his head down on her lap. Exhausted and depressed she realized all he wanted tonight was to be held.

_**I can be your hero, baby  
I can kiss away the pain  
I will stand by you forever  
You can take my breath away**_

As he lay there, in silence, she slowly found her hand making its way into his blonde curls. She caressed his head as if she was soothing a baby to sleep, in a way she was hoping he would actually fall asleep and get some much needed rest.

She wished she could take all his pain away, but she knew it wasn't realistic. He was too damaged and too set on revenge to be saved. But she was going to try and be what he needed tonight.

_**Would you swear  
That you'll always be mine?  
Or would you lie?  
Would you run and hide?  
Am I in too deep?  
Have I lost my mind?  
I don't care  
You're here tonight**_

At some point she found herself lying on the couch with Jane a top of her small body. He was asleep. Finally.

She wanted to wake him and see how he was feeling. She was too afraid to wake him and ask the questions she wanted to ask. She knew she wouldn't get the answers she was looking for. He was mute. He had no words, at least not tonight. He had run away and was hiding from everything. And the fact that he chose her, made her feel like she was the only one. She was his. And she always would be.

_**I can be your hero, baby  
I can kiss away the pain  
I will stand by you forever  
You can take my breath away**_

She looked down at him and kissed his forehead lightly. Waking him was the last thing she wanted to do. Especially if he was still in any physical pain. He needed time to heal and sleep, it was the best thing for him.

She would stay in this position forever, if she could. She had no complaints. No regrets.

_**I just want to hold you  
I just want to hold you  
Am I in too deep?  
Have I lost my mind?  
I don't care  
You're here tonight**_

She had slowly drifted off to sleep herself. She wasn't accompanied by a dream or a nightmare. She was taken back to the fight she had with Jane hours before he was shot.

"_As much as we may try, we aren't superheroes Jane." _

"_I know that." He said solemnly. _

_She could tell that whatever she said wasn't going to change his mind. He was going to do something stupid. Something he would regret. _

She felt a weight being lifted off her, feeling the warmth leave her, she opened her eyes to find Jane sitting up on the couch. She propped her body up with her elbows.

"Hey."

Jane looked back at Lisbon, sorrow still filled his eyes, but he also looked guilty. He quickly looked away.

He was regretting his decision to come here. He hadn't wanted to let his guard down and to let her hold him. He made a selfish choice at the hands of Lisbon.

Lisbon tried to make eye contact with him again, she pulled herself into a sitting position on the couch and took his hand. He tried to take it away but she held on tight.

"Jane. It's OK." She was hoping for a response, but when he said nothing she felt might be getting into deep.

_**I can be your hero  
I can kiss away the pain  
And I will stand by you forever  
You can take my breath away  
You can take my breath away**_

_**I can be your hero  
**_

She brought his hand up to her mouth and placed a soft kiss on the back of his hand.

"I'm here."

Lisbon pulled her body onto her knees. She wanted to look into his eyes. She wanted him to understand. She would stand by him no matter what.

"Look at me, Jane."

When he refused to move his head, Lisbon dropped his hand and used both her hands to cup his face and move his face towards hers. She ran her hands from the front of his hair to the back, keeping her hands entwined in his curls as she searched his eyes that he wouldn't keep on her.

"I'm not going anywhere. And frankly, nor are you."

Jane met her gaze and shifted his body so that he was facing her.

"I'm trying to be a hero of some kind." Lisbon looked down as if she lost faith in what she was saying.

Jane leaned in and brought his lips to hers, catching her completely off guard. His lips were so soft, and moved slowly against hers. He was savoring the moment. He didn't want it to end. She wasn't sure if she should continue the kiss or break it off. When she felt the warmth of his tongue pleading for her to open, she gave in. There was no going back now.

He was taking her breath away and she was taking his pain away.

* * *

**RnR if you like. **

**- Kai **


	15. Tennessee

**A/N: I just want to say how I love that someone picked up on the fact that Jane did not udder a word last Chapter. Haha. I did not intend for that to happen, but towards the end of writing the chapter, it just seemed right for him not to say anything. **

**Beware this Chapter is completely full of ANGST. And a couple of shockers too. *gasp*  
**

**Thank you to mwalter1, FallIntoAHellCalledLove, Divinia Serit, Jisbon-Fan, Americanchick, and x-gemarrrr for your lovely reviews on last chapter. It's one of my favorites so far, and I'm really glad you guys liked it as well. :) Also thanks to PhoenixWytch who reviewed Ch. 13. :) **

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist or The Wreckers. Or the song. **

**

* * *

**

**Song: Tennessee **

**Artist(s): The Wreckers **

* * *

_**I never had all the answers  
I never had enough time  
But I sure had all the reasons  
Why you weren't what I wanted to find**_

Staring out the window of her office, Lisbon was searching for answers. She didn't understand why today of all days it was hitting her. It was like a brick falling out of the sky and landing on her heart.

Time was no longer an issue to her. There was a point in her life where she thought time just seemed to stand still, standing there looking into his beautiful blue eyes.

She had every reason to stay, and yet she had no real reason for why she ended up leaving. Maybe, after all this time, he really wasn't what she wanted. Or maybe she was just scared of what might happen if she had stayed.

_**I never laid all my cards out  
You just wanted to play  
Keep you waiting on my doorsteps  
While the joker and me went on our way**_

"_Oh, come on Lisbon." Jane pleaded with her. _

_He was holding his arms out towards her, with a fan of cards in his hands. _

"_If I pick one, you'll leave, right?" Lisbon asked. _

_Jane smiled. "I'll leave you alone for the next five minutes, but I'll never leave you." _

_Lisbon was scared to smile back at him, so instead she quickly picked a card, looked at it, and put it back. _

"_That wasn't so hard, was it?" _

_Lisbon rolled her eyes and walked away, not caring to stick around for the rest of the game Jane was trying to play. _

"Special Agent, Lisbon?"

The sound of her name, brought her back to reality. She turned around and met her boss.

"Yes, sir?"

"There's a man out here. Says he needs to speak to you."

Lisbon looked taken back, wondering who could possibly be looking for her.

"Let him in."

Lisbon turned around and looked back out the window, back to that same day.

_Lisbon was in her office pacing back and forth trying to figure out how to tell the team. _

_Bryant showed up while she was deep in her thoughts, wrapped his arms around her and tried to place a kiss on her lips. _

"_Bryant, I'm trying to figure out how to tell the team." _

"_You still haven't told them?" _

"_It's harder than you think." _

"_Well, take your time." He pulled her in close and she wrapped her arms around his neck as he hugged her, trying to comfort her. _

_She caught Jane's eye through her window of her office, he was leaning up on a desk, holding his cards. He looked like his spirits had been shattered. _

"_You know what?" Lisbon pulled away from Bryant. "Wait here." _

_Lisbon made her way out of her office and Jane appeared behind her within seconds. _

"_Lisbon." Jane whispered from behind. "We have to talk." _

_Lisbon turned around quickly and met his gaze. _

"_You're right. We do." _

_Lisbon followed him as he went into the interrogation room. One she was in there, Jane closed the door. He wasted no time, as he backed her against the wall. _

"_You need to leave him." Jane said abruptly. _

"_What?" _

"_You need to leave him. He's no good for you." Jane stared into her eyes, hoping she'd see it all in his eyes. _

"_Jane, have you gone insane? I'm not leaving my husband." _

"_Why?" _

"_Why?!" Lisbon tried to move away but he held her against the wall. "I love my husband." Lisbon said it as convincingly as she could. _

"_Stop trying to make me believe that when you can't even believe it yourself." _

"_You know what I've had enough of you and your egotistical self. I'm sick of sticking up for you and never getting anything back. All you do is play games Jane. I'm leaving. Bryant got a job in New York. We leave in a few days." _

_Jane took a few steps back, letting her go as he did. He shook his head then looked away. She hadn't even told the team yet. She only said it to him in spite.  
_

"_I'm sorry." Lisbon felt guilty. _

"_Don't go." Jane looked back at her. _

"_That's not an option." _

_Jane closed the gap between their bodies, placing his forehead against her own. He brought his hand up to her hair and ran his hands through it. "Don't make me beg." _

"_I'm going to New York, Jane." _

_Jane dropped his hand but stayed close to her, trying to hold on to the moment, the last moment he would probably have with her. _

"_You picked the joker."_

_"What?" _

_Jane looked down and pulled out the Joker card and handed it to her. Lisbon took it, not knowing what to say. She tried to say something, but nothing seemed right. Not even goodbye. Lisbon, hesitantly, turned and walked out the door. _

_**Maybe I was much to selfish  
But baby you're still on my mind  
Now I'm grown and alone  
And wishin I was with you tonight  
'Cause I can guarantee  
Things are sweeter in Tennessee**_

"Teresa?" A voice sounded behind her.

She knew who it was the minute she heard him speak.

"What are you doing here, Bryant?" Lisbon turned to meet him.

"I was just bringing back the papers." Bryant held out the folder to her.

"Oh." Lisbon nodded towards the desk. Bryant laid them on top of all the other papers.

"How are you?"

"We don't have to do the small talk."

"Are you thinking about him?"

"Bryant, please. Isn't this hard enough?"

"For me. I still love you."

Lisbon looked away from him shaking her head. It was the reason they weren't together anymore. The reason she left him. She didn't love him and she couldn't continue the lie anymore.

"I can't tell you what you want to hear."

"I want you to be happy, Teresa. So if he makes you happy then maybe you should go find him."

"Yeah." Lisbon smiled softly, knowing it wasn't possible.

"I should get going." Bryant turned around and walked out of her office and her life. She was alone and wishing she was somewhere completely different.

_**These days everything is all business  
Never in one place for too long  
But there's no lack of arms around me  
But I still wonder if somewhere I went wrong**_

Minutes after Bryant left, her boss was back in her office giving her the next assignment.

She never had a break. She never had a moment to think for herself and she was never able to stay in one place for too long. Her life seemed to be flying by in front of her. At times she thought she couldn't take anymore of it, but she knew if life settled down in even the slightest she would end up spending all her extra time thinking about the past. And that's not how she wanted to live her life.

But she couldn't help but think she might have gone about everything the wrong way.

_**Maybe I was much to selfish  
But baby you're still on my mind  
Now I'm grown and alone  
And wishin I was with you tonight  
'Cause I can guarantee  
Things are sweeter in Tennessee**_

She arrived back at her apartment that night, having only thought about one thing the whole ride home. She couldn't get him off her mind.

She had come to the conclusion that she had been selfish and childish when it came to him. Terms she used in a speech she gave to him years ago.

She needed to tell him. Let him know how stupid she had been. But would he listen?

She picked up the phone, calling Van Pelt instead.

"Hello?"

"Grace, its Teresa Lisbon."

"Oh, hey. Did you get the invitation?"

Lisbon knew what she was referring too. Van Pelt was getting married. "Yes, I did."

"Will you and Bryant be able to make it? I know it's a long trip, but it would mean so much to Matt and I."

She didn't know what to say at first. "Bryant and I, we're not together anymore."

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that." Van Pelt wasn't sure if she should pry, so she didn't ask why.

"It's OK. I was calling to let you know I'll be coming."

"Oh, I'm glad. I look forward to seeing you! We really miss you."

"I look forward to seeing you guys too." Lisbon paused before continuing. "Do you know if Jane will be coming?"

"No, I don't know." Van Pelt wasn't surprised that she was asking about him. "I sent him an invitation."

"How's he doing?"

"Teresa, Jane moved. To Tennessee." Van Pelt was surprised Lisbon didn't already know.

"When?" Lisbon was completely floored.

"About 3 months after you left. I guess he felt there was nothing else keeping him here."

Lisbon gave a soft thank you to Van Pelt and slowly hung up the phone.

_**And I'd wish on every star  
In the southern sky  
For that man and our life  
If I did not think that **_

_**Yes I can guarantee  
Things are sweeter in Tennessee  
**_

Lisbon made her way out to her balcony, from her bedroom. She looked up at the stars, wishing that some how, she could get back the life she had always wanted.

Because in the end, he was right, he always was. If only she had listened to that man, she wouldn't be thinking about Tennessee and how much sweeter life would be if she was there with him.

* * *

**RnR's are wonderful. **

**- Kai **


	16. Feel This

**A/N: OK, so I'm back to my main job this week, so I don't know if I'll be able to put up a chapter a night like I have been. It's why I've been giving you guys so many this weekend. I'm trying to make up for what may come. LOL. BTW, I freakin' love this song.  
**

**Someone mentioned in their review, "Why would Jane go to Tennessee?" and I'm going to take the time to tell you what I was thinking. Besides the fact that the song called for someone to be in Tennessee, I thought back to the episode 1x06 Red-Handed when they are all playing cards and Jane tells them he used to go with his father on his carnival trips. I thought that maybe his father took him to Tennessee a lot and maybe that's why he goes back there, because that place means a lot to him. **

**Quick thank you's to mwalter1, Divinia Serit, x-gemarrrr, JollyRancher543321 (for reviews on Ch. 12-15), FallIntoAHellCalledLove, and 7(for reviews on Ch 14&15). You guys are so sweet and I love reading all your reviews! :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the song or the show. Yadayadayadayada. **

**

* * *

**

**Song: Feel This **

**Artist(s): Bethany Joy Galeotti featuring Enation**

* * *

_**It's gotta be this one  
You don't have to fake it  
You know I can take it  
What if I told you  
Your tears  
Haven't been ignored  
And everything  
That is taken  
Can be restored**_

She knew where to find him. She always did, even if it was in the strangest of places. He was at the park this time, where they had lost Red John the day before. He was probably there searching for something they may have missed.

It was getting dark and the stars were coming out. It was a beautiful night and it was being ruined by the tremendous emotions of the last 24 hours. His obsession with revenge was getting worse. She needed to make him see that they would catch him sooner or later. She needed to make him see that people were here for him. She was here for him. Just like he said he'd be there for her.

Time seemed to stand still when she found him sitting on the spinning whirl just gazing up at the stars. He was in search of answers. Ones she probably couldn't give him. She was going to try and help him though.

"Hey."

He didn't budge from his position even when Lisbon sat down beside him.

"We're going to catch him." Lisbon said with assurance.

"Yeah. We are." Jane said in an almost mocking tone.

"Jane." Lisbon placed her hand on his. "Look at me, please."

Jane granted her plea and turned to her. She could see that his beautiful blue eyes were now swollen and red. He had been crying.

She wanted to bring back everything he had lost, just so she wouldn't have to see him in such distress. It broke her heart to see him this way, but she wasn't going to let him see that.

_**Feel this  
Can you feel this?  
My heart beating  
Out of my chest  
Feel this  
Can you feel this?  
Salvation  
Under my breath**_

She wished he could feel what she was feeling. Their eyes were intact, there were no need for words, she could see how he was feeling, and he in turn knew she wanted to make it all go away.

He could feel her pulse racing from her wrist that still lay upon his hand. He wasn't about to take advantage of her. He didn't want to make another mistake. He had already made enough. He needed some sort of salvation.

_**It's gotta be just right  
Soul and script  
The chords and the lyrics  
What if I told you  
That innocence is yours  
And the beauty you have now  
Is brighter than before  
Before**_

She could feel her hand start to shiver as the time went on and they continued to stare into one another's eyes. Each afraid of breaking the hold they had on one another, in fear of losing the closeness of the moment.

She couldn't hold on much longer though. She had to make him forget, for just a moment, about revenge and the fixation he had. She wanted him to see what else he could live for.

But it had to be just right, and he had to be there in the moment too. It couldn't be just her.

"I don't want to ever see you as guilty, Jane."

"I'm guilty of my wife and child's death." Jane said, trying to make her see how he felt.

"No." Lisbon shook her head. "That is Red John's fault. Not yours. You are innocent."

"Maybe I don't believe that."

Lisbon tilted her head to the side, allowing the moon's light to shine down across her face in the most beautiful manner.

"I wish you did."

"I wish for a lot of things too. They never come true. I've learned to accept that."

_**Feel this  
Can you feel this?  
My heart beating  
Out of my chest  
Feel this  
Can you feel this?  
Salvation  
Under my breath**_

"Maybe we should try and wish for somethings that might actually happen then." Lisbon said, trying to change the mood of night.

Lisbon stood up and held her hand out to Jane. "I'll start. I wish for you to take my hand."

Jane smiled at the thought of her game. "Wish is granted." Jane took her hand and stood up next to her.

"I wish for the Angels to win a World Series." Jane said with a small smile.

Lisbon hit his shoulder playfully. "That's not realistic."

"But it could happen." Jane said with a dignified voice. "Your turn."

"I wish for a sunny day tomorrow."

"The forecast predicts 85 and humid."

"What about you?"

Jane's smile disappeared as he held his hand out to Lisbon. "I wish for you to accompany me on the spinning thingy." Jane nodded towards the play equipment they had previously been sitting on.

"You want to actually spin it?"

"Yes. We'll lie down on it as it spins. It's a beautiful way to look at the stars."

"Wish is granted." Lisbon let him guide her to the spinner. She lied down on the metal platform and waited as Jane gave it a small push before jumping on himself and lying down opposite of her so that their heads were next to one another.

They spun in silence, and at some point Lisbon closed her eyes. When she felt the ride coming to a slower spin she opened her eyes and she found Jane staring directly down at her.

"Jane what are you doing?"

"You should try this. Come on." Jane held his hand out to her.

"That's crazy. We could fall."

"It's the thrill of the ride, Lisbon."

Lisbon took his hand and let him help her up as the wheel kept spinning slowly. Jane held on to her hands tightly making sure she wouldn't lose her balance.

"This isn't so bad is it?" Jane said in a husky voice.

"It's my turn." Lisbon looked deep into his eyes.

Lisbon took a step forward to him, carefully so that she wouldn't lose her balance. "I wish for you to feel this." Lisbon took his hand and placed it on her chest.

He stood there holding her hand and feeling her heart race against his other hand. He was getting lost in the moment, something he swore he would never do. He was getting swept up in her. He leaned in, closing his eyes.

Before she could mirror his actions his eyes opened and he pulled back slightly.

_**Let go, let go, believe Let go, let go and believe Let go, let go, believe Let go**_

"I wish for-"

"It's not your turn." Jane said as he interrupted her.

"Make it my turn."

"I wish for you to tell me what you want."

"I want you to let go. Of all the hostility you are holding on to. I want you to let it all go, even if it is just for a moment. Believe in yourself. Just let go. And feel this."

For the first time in years, Jane felt something different. He wanted to give her what she wanted, so badly. The spinner was coming to an end, but this journey was just beginning.

Jane slipped his hand to the side of her face and caressed her check with his thumb. As he leaned in he kept his eyes open taking in her beauty, before closing his eyes to feel her.

There were no words to explain the way she felt when his lips met hers. He slipped his other arm around to her back and up her jacket, in order to pull her closer to him. She threw her arms around his neck and let one hand fall into his soft curls. Their kiss was passionate, but yet gentle.

He pulled away from her, much to her displeasure.

_**Feel this  
Can you feel this?  
My heart beating  
Out of my chest  
Feel this  
Can you feel this?  
Salvation  
Under my breath**_

He looked down at her, no longer needing to search her eyes. He brushed away a piece of hair that lingered in her face and let his hand trail across the side of her face.

"I feel it."

Lisbon smiled as he came back down for another kiss. She couldn't stop smiling as he laid small kisses against her lips, trying to capture them.

He had found his salvation from his obsession, even if it was only for a moment in time.

* * *

**RnR, if you please. **

**- Kai **


	17. Whenever You Come Around

**A/N: Well this would have been up much earlier, however, my CPU decided to be a you-know-what and I had to restart it. Anyways it's here. It's short, so is the song. It's simple, but cute. I think. **

**Quick thanks to JocelynMcC, yasminbanu786, FallIntoAHellCalledLove, PhoenixWytch(Ch14too!), 7, mwalter1, and JollyRancher543321 for your reviews. So lovely and much appreciated. :) **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything. The song, the show, nothing. **

**

* * *

**

**Song: Whenever You Come Around**

**Artist(s): Vince Gill featuring Patty Loveless **

* * *

_**The face of an angel **_

_**Pretty eyes that shine  
I lie awake at night wishing you were mine  
I'm standing here holding the biggest heartache in town  
When ever you come around**_

The sun was gone, as were all his colleagues. He found himself, lying on the couch, staring up at the ceiling trying to find an escape from the one thing that kept his mind captivated these days.

Any time he closed his eyes he could see her emerald eyes staring at him. Her angelic face was within inches of touching, but yet in reality, so far away. He would give anything to have her to himself, just for a night.

When ever she came around, heartache fell upon him.

_**I get weak in the knees**_

_**And I lose my breath**_

_**I try to speak but the words won't come  
I'm so scared to death  
And when you smile that smile the world turns upside down  
Whenever you come around**_

He had tried numerous times to tell her how he was feeling, but anytime he tried to speak about it, he couldn't find the right words.

He tried practicing what he would say and it seemed to boost his ego a bit, but he could never remember his speech when it came time. She made him lose his breath so frequently these days that he had to come up with phony excuses or childish tactics to distract her.

He was scared. Scared of her and the way she made him feel, when ever she was around.

_**I feel so helpless**_

_**I feel just like a kid  
What is it about you that**_

_**Makes me keep my feelings hid?  
I wish I could tell you**_

_**But the words can't be found  
When ever you come around**_

He lay there thinking that it was useless to even try anymore. She hadn't a clue of how he was feeling, and probably didn't feel the same way anyways.

Sometimes he felt like a kid again, watching her from across the room, not being able to tell her how he felt. Keeping his feelings to himself was one of the things he did best.

He knew exactly what it was that made him feel this way. There were so many things about her that he loved. Besides her physical features and her impossible to forget control issues, what he loved most about her was her compassion. Most of the team wasn't fortunate enough to see it as often as he did. The way her face softened from being it's typical strict form, the way her eyes deepened as she let herself feel the pain and passion of the person she was feeling for.

He loved observing her. Talking about her was easy. He knew everything about her. Everything he needed to know was everything he loved about her. Yet somehow, whenever she came around, he kept all of it hidden, and why he did not know.

_**I get weak in the knees**_

_**And I lose my breath  
Oh I try to speak but the words won't come  
I'm so scared to death  
When you smile the that smile the world turns upside down  
When ever you come around**_

Maybe he should just tell her how he was feeling. Let everything off his chest and out of his heart. Maybe she would feel the same.

He laid there pondering, all night, if he should. Before he knew it the sun's rays were flooding through the windows of the CBI unit. He heard footsteps inching closer and closer to the bull pen and then towards the couch.

"Jane?" Lisbon turned her head slightly to get a better look at him.

Jane sat up slowly from the couch, swinging his legs over and onto the floor.

"Morning Lisbon."

"Did you stay here all night?" Lisbon asked with a curious look.

"I was deep in thoughts. Must have lost track of time."

"Of course." Lisbon said as if it always happened to her too, and she let a smile fall upon her face.

Jane couldn't help but smile back at her. Her smile was in infectious. His heart started to race faster and his stomach turned upside down. As they stared at each other in silence, Lisbon's smile slowly turned into a puzzled and guarded look.

"What?" Lisbon asked.

"Nothing." Jane kept smiling at her.

Lisbon gave him a look of uncertainty before heading off to her office. There went another chance out the window, but he was now used to it. It happened every time.

Whenever she came around.

* * *

**RnR if you wish. **

**- Kai **


	18. Don't Turn Around

**A/N: This chapter is angsty. Sorry there's no fluffyness lately, but no happy songs have been popping up. The bright side is, that eventually all that will be left are fluffy ones, so there will be many in a row! LOL. On another note, I know I haven't updated in a few days, so I might have another one up later tonight. Depends. :) **

**Quick thank you to PhoenixWytch, 7, and JollyRancher543321 for your reviews last chapter. They mean alot to me! And don't hesitated to throw in your own ideas or critizism! ;) I love hearing about anything you have to say! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the show or the song. **

**

* * *

**

**Song: Don't Turn Around **

**Artist(s): Ace Of Base **

* * *

_**If you wanna leave  
I won't beg you to say  
And if you gotta go darling  
Maybe it's better that way  
I'm gonna be strong  
I'm gonna do fine  
Don't worry about this heart of mine  
Just walk out the door  
See if I care  
Go on and go, but**_

Lisbon stood in her office staring helplessly at the man she knew she would never be able to make stay. She wasn't going to beg him to stay and listen to what she had to say. It didn't matter if he listened or not. In the end he would leave. He always did.

"It's better this way." Jane said in a tone that made it seem like he didn't even care.

"Right. You're right." Lisbon nodded in agreement.

She wasn't about to let him see that she cared if he left. Because she did care. It hurt her whenever he walked away. But she was going to be the strong and confident woman that she always is when he walks out the door.

Jane stood there, not moving. She assumed he was waiting for her to reassure him. And she would.

"Go. I'll be fine."

Jane walked to the door, but suddenly stopped.

_**Don't turn around  
'Cause you're gonna see my heart breaking  
Don't turn around  
I don't want you seeing me cry  
Just walk away  
It's tearing me apart that you're leaving  
I'm letting you go  
But I won't let you go**_

In that moment, her heart stopped. She didn't want him to turn around. He would be able to see right through her, as she was letting herself feel the pain of him leaving.

_Please don't turn around, Lisbon pleaded in her head._

"Are you going to be OK?" Jane asked without looking back at her.

Lisbon gathered her thoughts and sighed a breath of relief when she realized he hadn't turned around.

"I'm fine." She said lying through her teeth.

And as he walked down the hall she let herself fall apart, knowing full well where he was headed; to her.

_**I won't miss your arms around me  
Holding me tight  
And if you ever think about me  
Just know that I'll be alright  
I'm gonna be strong  
I'm gonna do fine  
Don't worry about this heart of mine  
I will survive  
I'll make it through  
I'll even learn to live without you**_

That night she was thinking about him and how he used to hold her on the couch all those nights. He would tell her how it would all be alright. But she wasn't missing his arms at that moment, knowing he was probably holding her right now telling her the same thing.

But when she heard a knock at the door she found herself forgetting all the things she was promising herself. She fled to the door in hopes she would find Jane on the other side.

When she saw his face, her heart almost dropped.

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted you to be the first to know."

In that moment, she knew she didn't want him to finish the sentence. She didn't want to hear it. She already knew.

"I'm leaving."

"Well at least your doing something your good at." Lisbon couldn't believe she said that out loud.

Jane let out a small smile. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I can survive without you." Lisbon didn't care anymore.

"I know you will." And with that Jane turned around and started walking down the stairs of her porch, and when he got to the sidewalk he stopped and started to turn back to Lisbon.

_**Don't turn around  
'Cause you're gonna see my heart breaking  
Don't turn around  
I don't want you seeing me cry  
Just walk away  
It's tearing me apart that you're leaving  
I'm letting you go  
But I won't let you know**_

"Don't, Jane." Lisbon whispered to herself.

She was already letting the tears fall down and letting herself feel everyone once of pain. It killed her to see him leave, but at the same time, she knew it was for the better to just let him go.

Jane, with much hesitance, turned back to his car and got in, without turning back. He knew she was falling apart, and it was all because of him.

_**I wish I could scream out loud  
That I love you  
I wish I could say to you  
Don't go  
As he walks away  
He feels the pain growing strong  
People in your life  
They don't know what's going on  
Too proud to turn around  
He's gone**_

She didn't want him to see her cry. She didn't want him to see her fall apart. She wanted him to remember her as the strong and determined person she was. Not as a needy and weak woman who would do anything to hold on to him.

What she really wanted was to tell him how much she loved him and that she wanted him to stay with her.

He was in as much pain as she was, even though she couldn't see it. He was good at hiding it. She had no clue what he was going through. She thought there was another woman, and a one point there was, but than he realized that the only woman he wanted was her, but he wasn't good enough for her. He was too proud to turn around and tell her other wise though. Instead, he disappeared into the night.

_**Don't turn around  
'Cause you're gonna see my heart breaking  
Don't turn around  
I don't want you seeing me cry  
Just walk away  
It's tearing me apart that you're leaving  
I'm letting you go  
But I won't let you know**_

It ended exactly how she knew it would. This wasn't just a typical affair of hearts. It was a deadly one. She knew she was playing with fire when she got involved with him.

He was damaged goods and she was in for a heart break. She didn't care at the time, but now she thought otherwise. If she knew it was going to be this bad, she never would have put herself through the comfort of being in his arms for those few nights she had him.

Walking away had become his specialty.

She was glad he never turned around to see her fall apart.

* * *

**RnR, if you like.**

**- Kai **


	19. Wherever You Will Go

**A/N: The shuffle must really really love angsty songs because here's another one. I hope you guys aren't getting sick of all these angst chapters. I'm starting to get fed up. LOL. I want some fluff. I'm going to start working on the next chapter after I post this. Hopefully it will be a fluffy one or a least a fun humorous one. **

**Thank you to JollyRancher543321, FallIntoAHellCalledLove, PhoenixWytch, Divinia Serit, JocelynMcC, 7, x-gemarrrr, and shopping-luva91 for your reviews. They were lovely, as usual. :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the song or the show. What a bummer. **

**

* * *

**

**Song: Wherever You Will Go **

**Artist(s): The Calling **

* * *

_**So lately, I've been wonderin'  
Who will be there to take my place  
When I'm gone, you'll need love  
To light the shadows on your face  
If a great wave should fall  
It would fall upon us all  
And between the sand and stone  
Could you make it on your own**_

They were getting close. So close. It might be days or weeks before they knew for sure, but they were certain this time they had him nailed. They were going to find out who Red John was. With that information, Jane planned on finding the man and killing him. He wasn't sure what his plan was yet, but he was sure that one way or the other Red John would be either dead or in custody and so would he.

Jane shot up from the couch. He had been thinking about this for days, but this was the first time it hit him. When he was gone, what would happen to Lisbon? They had become close, closer than he thought he'd ever get to a woman again.

She needed someone to take care of her and make her happy. She'll be in a dark place for sometime, but in the end she'd be okay. He would make sure of it.

She was a strong woman. Stronger than he had ever thought possible. She'd be perfectly fine by herself, but he would feel better knowing there was someone there for her after he was gone.

_**If I could, then I would  
I'll go wherever you will go  
Way up high or down low  
I'll go wherever you will go**_

There was nothing he wouldn't do for Lisbon. She had been there for him from day one. Always by his side through the bad and good times. She put her career on the line for him numerous times, not to mention putting her life at risk to save him on countless occasions.

If he had it his way, he'd be there for her for the rest of her life. But that, that was just not reasonable.

_**And maybe, I'll find out  
A way to make it back someday  
To watch you, to guide you  
Through the darkest of your days  
If a great wave should fall  
It would fall upon us all  
Well I hope there's someone out there  
Who can bring me back to you**_

He thought about it some more and figured that he would know how the conversation would go if he talked to her about his plans. She would object, with force, most likely physical, and she would probably try and have him locked up. In a state jail or mental hospital. Which ever she could get him into. She would do anything to stop him at this point. She didn't want to lose him. He had become too important to her.

He wasn't going to be able to watch or guide her and he needed someone to do that for him. Someone who would have all the same wishes for her. There were many wishes he had for her that he would have wanted to share with her.

_**If I could, then I would  
I'll go wherever you will go  
Way up high or down low  
I'll go wherever you will go**_

_**Runaway with my heart  
Runaway with my hope  
Runaway with my love **_

He didn't know what came over him when he found himself knocking on her office door. He didn't plan on telling her anything, but it just seemed to start coming out like water pushing through a weak barrier.

"Come in."

Jane pushed the door that was barely closed, stepping slowly into the room.

Lisbon immediately put her pen down and sat up in her chair that she had been slouching in. All her attention was directed to him. Jane closed the door and walked over to her desk, and let his fingers dance on her desk for a few moments. Lisbon tilted her head, trying to decipher the meaning of why he was in her office looking so serious.

"I want you to know some things."

"Know what things?" Lisbon looked intrigued, but yet cautious.

"Just listen." Jane took a seat in one of the chairs in her office, causing her to stand and come to the front of her desk and lean up against it, so that she could be facing him.

"There are some things I want to tell you before things start unfolding with Red John."

Lisbon was all ears as she looked on intently.

"I want you to know that I don't want anything but the best for you. A husband, kids. The perfect house. Life." Jane smiled, at the thought of how his own life had been, and how it was ripped from him tragically.

Lisbon's face turned into a frown. She wasn't sure what he was saying, but she didn't like the way the conversation was headed. She wanted him to stop talking. Or better yet, change the subject.

"Jane, if you think I'm going to suspend you for the Rushmore incident, I'm not. So stop trying to be a suck up." Lisbon stated playfully, but with a hint of nervousness.

"Lisbon, listen to me. This is important."

"What's going on?" Lisbon tried to say without sound too concerned.

"I want you to find someone. Someone who you trust. Someone you can count on, when I'm gone."

"What do you mean by that?" Lisbon looks confused. She didn't know what he was talking about, nor did she really want to. "When you're gone? Where are you going?"

"If I die or if I go to jail. One of those is bound to happen when I catch Red John. I just want to make sure you'll be OK when that day comes."

Lisbon couldn't believe what she was hearing. After all these years of chasing this mad man, it had driven them all to the breaking point. Jane had gone back and forth between wanting revenge and killing the man to agreeing to let Lisbon and the team handle the situation.

He seemed so certain of his choice there in that moment. She was sure he had made up his mind for the last time. And there was no way to stop him, she knew that. He would find Red John one way or another, and the results were going to be tragic.

Lisbon turned her back to Jane. She wasn't sure how she was feeling. She was mixed with emotions, she was trying to keep this professional and not let her personal feelings interfere. But it wasn't possible. She cared for this man and here he was taking her heart, her love and her hope of a future and running away with it.

"How do you think I feel?" Lisbon whispered after a moment of silence.

Jane stood up and walked over to Lisbon. He wanted to reach out to her. He knew she was on the verge of breaking down. He was dropping all this on her out of the blue and not giving her any glimpse at hope.

"It doesn't matter what I think."

"Well it's not OK."

Jane put his hand on her shoulder, trying to ease her pain. But the touch of his hand just made it all the more painful. Her body tensed at the touch of his hand on her and she spun around to meet his gaze.

"It's great that your thinking about the after effects of what you plan on doing, but don't try and make yourself feel better at my expense."

"None of this is easy, Lisbon!" Jane raised his voice slightly so that she would understand that this was not a simple decision for him.

Jane took a few steps back, putting space back between them. "I can't have both. Revenge for my family and you in my life. That would be selfish. And you don't want me to choose."

"You already did." Lisbon said quietly.

"If I chose you, which I would, I would spend every minute of every day thinking about how I let my wife and child down. How I let the man who took away their precious lives, live and rot in a jail cell, instead of giving him what he deserves."

Jane's eyes filled with passion and sorrow as he looked deep into Lisbon's. They were both now on the verge of tears. Both for different reasons, but both wanting the same thing.

"I care about you. More than I should." Jane admitted to Lisbon and himself.

As a tear came down her cheek, Lisbon folded her arms across her chest, trying to stay in control.

_**I know now, just quite how  
My life and love might still go on  
In your heart and your mind  
I'll stay with you for all of time**_

_**If I could turn back time  
I'll go wherever you will go  
If I could make you mine  
I'll go wherever you will go**_

"I need you to be OK. I need you to live a life full of happiness and no regrets. Because I have many, and it's no way to live."

Jane saw the tear rolling down Lisbon's cheek and took a step forward in order to have her in his reach.

"I have regrets." Lisbon let her head fall down as her arms fell to her side.

"Please don't regret me."

Jane took his thumb and wiped her tear away. The touch of his skin against her made her draw in a deep breath as she closed her eyes to take in the feel of him.

"How could I?" Lisbon asked as Jane smiled on with pride.

He would live on in her, because she would never forget him. She knew in a way he would be with her no matter where she went. That was comfort enough, for now.

* * *

**RnR, if you please.**

**- Kai **


	20. Will You Still Love Me?

**A/N: All I have to say is: FINALLY! **

**A quick thanks to JollyRancher543321, shopping-luva91, FallIntoAHellCalledLove, PhoenixWytch, and JocelynMcC for your lovely reviews, and sticking through all those rough antsy chapters. LOL. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the show or the song. **

**

* * *

**

**Song: Will You Still Love Me?**

**Artist(s): Chicago**

* * *

_**Take me as I am  
Put your hand in mine now and forever  
Darling here I stand, stand before you now  
Deep inside I always knew  
**_

_**It was you, you and me  
Two hearts drawn together bound by destiny  
It was you, and you for me  
Every road leads to your door  
Every step I take for evermore**_

"It's getting late. I should head out." Lisbon put her glass down on the table as she stood up and grabbed her jacket.

None of her team protested, but they also didn't move. Jane however, stood up next to her.

"I agree." Jane lent a smile towards the team before finishing off his drink that was in his hand and then held his hand out to Lisbon. "I'll walk you out."

Lisbon, half-sober, took his hand with out hesitation, as Van Pelt looked on smiling at the sight of them hand in hand.

"Night boss." The three remaining agents echoed after them.

Jane led Lisbon out of the restaurant and onto the deserted sidewalk. Lisbon looked up at Jane giving him a warm smile. "Thanks Jane. Sleep well."

All night he had been avoiding it, but the moment didn't seem to be any more perfect than now. The street light's flooded upon her showing her flushed cheeks from the alcohol and her radiant smile, she was so beautiful.

Lisbon turned to leave but he grabbed her hand to stop her. "Lisbon?"

She spun around and he quickly placed his hands on either side of her hips and pushed her gently, slowly, up against the brick wall of the building. Lisbon looked around to see what might be the cause of his sudden bizarre behavior. When she saw the area was still vacant she looked back to his face that was completely lost in hers.

"Every moment I spend with you confirms what I've know for a long time. I know a lot of things, Lisbon, but none of them are as important as how I feel."

"Feel?" Lisbon looked a bit confused.

"About you and me."

"I think that's the Jim Beam talking." Lisbon patted Jane's chest sympathetically.

"No. It's my heart."

Lisbon stopped patting his chest and looked directly into his eyes waiting for him to crack a smile and reveal it was just a joke. Jane took a step closer to her so there was no space between them. Their bodies were touching and by now, Lisbon knew it was no joke.

_**Just say you'll love me  
for the rest of your life  
I gotta lotta love  
and I don't want to let go  
Will you still love me  
for the rest of my life  
'Cause I can't go on  
No, I can't go on  
I can't go on  
If I'm on my own**_

He slid his hand up her body to her neck, resting his thumbs on her cheeks. He took his time studying her before leaning in to bring his lips to hers. He tilted his head so that he could deepen the kiss. With one knee in between her thighs he levitated her up against the wall so that she was at his level. He found an opportunity to explore her even more when she moaned, allowing him to glide his tongue into her mouth.

He was feeling so much love and he didn't want to let go of her in that moment. She pulled away, though, trying to catch her breath and most likely her thoughts, too.

"Jane-" Lisbon couldn't finish her sentence. She was searching for words that couldn't be found.

_**Take me as I am  
Put your heart in mine,  
stay with me forever  
'Cause I am just a man  
who never understood  
I never had a thing to prove**_

_**'Till there was you, you and me  
Then it all came clear so suddenly  
How close to you that I wanna be**_

Jane removed his knee, allowing her feet to come back down to the ground. He kept one of his hands on her face, as he let the other one trail up and down her arm.

"I should explain." Jane let a small smile escape from his lips before looking deep into her eyes.

"I haven't had a lot to prove to anyone, for any reason. I haven't been the best man at times. I have done things that I wish I could take back. Things I wish I could do over."

Jane leaned head against hers. His lips graced her forehead. "I can see things clearly now. I see you and me."

Lisbon breathed in the smell of him as she leaned into his neck. He placed a small kiss against her forehead before leaning back to capture her eyes again.

_**Just say you'll love me  
for the rest of your life  
I gotta lotta love  
and I don't want to let go  
Will you still love me  
for the rest of my life  
'Cause I can't go on  
No, I can't go on  
I can't go on  
If I'm on my own**_

"What are you saying, Jane?"

"I see a future worth living for. And if your not part of it-" Jane stopped talking and just looked at her. He didn't want to say it because he didn't want it to be an option. He didn't want to go on if she wasn't going to be with him.

He didn't want to talk anymore. He just wanted to feel her. Feel her in his arms, kissing her. He brought his face back to hers and took her into a passionate embrace. She could feel what he was saying. Their lips moved together so beautifully, he couldn't think of anything else but how perfect they fit.

_**Do you believe a love could run so strong  
Do you believe a love could pass you by  
There was no special one for me  
I was the lonely one, you see  
But then my heart lost all control  
Now you're all that I know**_

He never thought he could feel this strongly about someone again. He was so overwhelmed with these feelings that he hadn't felt in so long. He wasn't going to let it pass him by.

There was just one thing left to do. He needed to ask her. Ask her if she would.

_**Just say you'll love me  
for the rest of your life  
I gotta lotta love  
and I don't want to let go  
Will you still love me  
for the rest of my life  
'Cause I can't go on  
No, I can't go on  
I can't go on  
If I'm on my own**_

Jane pulled away this time, leaving them both breathless. Jane brought both his hands down to her own, and grabbed a hold of them.

"Will you love me? I need to know." Jane asked as he closed his eyes.

"That's a stupid question, Jane." Lisbon stated quickly. She released her hands from his and Jane felt her warmth leave his body. He didn't want to open his eyes to see her leave.

When he felt her hand upon the side of his face, he slowly opened his eyes. He wasn't sure what to think. Was she saying yes, or was she just showing him pity?

"For a man who reads people so well, you would think he would know if a woman loves him back." Lisbon said with a playful smile.

"You're a difficult woman to read sometimes Lisbon." Jane wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close to him. "I'm thinking you'll love me for the rest of your life."

"I was thinking the same thing."

* * *

**RnR, if you like. **

**- Kai **


	21. The Dance

**A/N: This chapter is not only angsty but it's REALLY short. I'm hoping for another fluffy chapter next. If I have time it will up tomorrow morning. **

**Quick thanks to shopping-luva91, GSRFanatic123, mwalter1, yasminbanu786, JollyRancher543321, JocelynMcC, PhoenixWytch, x-gemarrrr, Jisbon-Fan, FallIntoAHellCalledLove, Divinia Serit (Ch. 19&20), and Jadestar1981 (Ch. 18-20) for your reviews. They were all so lovely and I really appreciate that you guys take the time to read the chapters and then review them afterwards. I look forward to them each and every Chapter! :) **

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the show or the song. *thud* Garth Brooks. Lucky Trisha.  
**

**

* * *

**

**Song: The Dance **

**Artist: Garth Brooks**

* * *

_**Looking back on the memory of  
The dance we shared 'neath the stars alone  
For a moment all the world was right  
How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye**_

It's what started it all.

It's what made him believe in love again.

The memory of that dance was bittersweet. He held her close to him, not thinking of what was to come after. Not thinking of what he would feel with in the next coming months. He just was feeling what he felt in that moment. It felt so right to him.

Their dance was unplanned, magical, and the start of a new chapter in his life. Both of their lives. In that moment beneath the stars, holding each other tight, breathing in the cool breeze of the open air, they were right where they needed to be, wanted to be.

Goodbye was the last thing on his mind.

_**And now I'm glad I didn't know  
The way it all would end the way it all would go  
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain  
But I'd have had to miss the dance**_

He was glad he couldn't see the future. Knowing the pain that he was going to go through was something he probably could have done without. He had been through enough in his life, and having to say goodbye to another woman he loved was more than he could take.

Sitting on the front steps of his house, he sat and wept like a child. He wanted to go back in time and take all the memories he had with her and erase them. It was too painful to remember all the memories they shared in their short time together, and now he was alone again. Alone, was something he was used to before her. Being with her made him forget those days, and he would have given anything to not feel that way again.

_**Holding you I held everything  
For a moment wasn't I a king  
But if I'd only known how the king would fall  
Hey who's to say you know I might have changed it all**_

He held her as if she was everything to him. And at the time she was all he really had. He could have changed everything by not asking her to dance that night. She could have changed it all by declining him.

But he did ask her, almost pleadingly, and she did accept, without hesitation. It was meant to be. At least for a moment in time.

He watched himself fall apart before, and it was about to happen again. He never thought that he would ever love again like this.

_**And now I'm glad I didn't know  
The way it all would end the way it all would go  
Yes my life is better left to chance  
I could have missed the pain but I'd have had to miss the dance**_

He had to try and pick up the pieces that had fallen apart. He had to find a way of finding some sort of peace with it. She didn't die, she left. Maybe, there was still a chance for him to get her back.

But there was no use in thinking about what would have happened if that dance didn't happen. There is one thing he knew for sure, that in the end, as much as he wished to have missed all the pain he was going through, he would never take back the dance.

* * *

**RnR, if you please!**

**- Kai **


	22. When You Say Nothing At All

**A/N: FLUFFY!!!! LOL. I would have posted this in the morning, but I got a nice phone call from my boss asking me to come in early and when I got there, it turns out they didn't need me that early after all! *rollseyes* Anyways, it's here now. :) I hope you enjoy it. **

**A big thank you to Divinia Serit, JollyRancher543321, mwalter1, PhoenixWytch, yasminbanu786, JocelynMcC, and Jadestar1981 for their reviews last chapter. I wasn't sure about that chapter, it was touch and go for awhile. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the song or the show. **

**

* * *

**

**Song: When You Say Nothing At All **

**Artist(s): Alison Krauss and Union Station**

* * *

_**It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart  
Without saying a word you can light up the dark  
Try as I may I could never explain  
What I hear when you don't say a thing  
**_

"I find it funny, how you can stand here and tell me that you support this man's behavior. But what baffles me the most Agent Lisbon, is that you allowed him to do it in the first place."

Minelli was mad. No, he was furious. Lisbon allowed Jane to make a mockery of the president of a prestigious company that promotes new cancer drugs. It led to the arrest of the guilty party, but not at the expense of the Presidents ego and of course a civil suit against the SCU and Jane.

"I have no choice here. You've left me no choice." Minelli said exasperated.

"Sir, I'm sure if Jane was to apologize and completely cooperate with Mr. Bultin that he will drop the charges." Lisbon was almost to the point of pleading, but she knew there was no point.

"He doesn't want an apology. And frankly I don't think Jane is going to give him one, are you?" Minelli shot a glance at Jane who just shrugged his shoulders lightly.

"See?" Minelli looked back at Lisbon who looked annoyed by Jane's lack of cooperation. "You are both suspended until this is settled."

Minelli held his hands up in the air. "There's nothing I can do. If action is not taken for your consultants lack of respect towards others, than this whole department will get investigated. It could lead to new team members and even the likely hood of letting our beloved consultant go." Jane and Lisbon could hear the sarcasm in his voice as he said 'beloved consultant'.

Minelli looked down to the ground. "I suggest that you both take this time to think about what has just occurred in the past 24 hours. Seriously, think."

Minelli walked out of the office leaving Jane and Lisbon in dark silence. Lisbon could barely bring herself to look up from the floor. She was upset, but at the same time she stood by her decision. The President was a narcissist asshole and deserved to be put in his place. She wasn't going to do it, but she sure didn't lift a finger to stop Jane from doing it. He always had more courage to say things that were unprofessional. He didn't care of the consequences.

Jane stood there in silence as Lisbon removed her badge and gun and placed them on her desk. The last thing she needed right now was a smart ass comment from him, so he was going to support her, in the best way he knew how.

He walked up behind her and placed his hand on the small of her back, he felt her tense body relax immediately. He knew just what to do to light up the darkest of her hours. And he didn't even have to say anything.

_**The smile on your face lets me know that you need me  
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me  
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall  
You say it best when you say nothing at all**_

On the way to her house, he kept quiet. She allowed him to drive, which was rare, so he didn't push his luck by making a big deal of it. Instead he gave her the time to think about everything that had happened, and let her feel sorry for herself. He would make it better, at least he would try, once he got her home.

Jane walked her to the door of her house, against her protests. She fumbled for her keys, trying to figure out which one she needed to open the door to her house. She had never been this frazzled in her life. She couldn't think straight, and here was the man who made her this way, probably feeling sorry for what he had done. Jane reached for her shaking hands and held them in his.

She looked up at him and saw what she needed so much at that moment. He was there. Not out of pity or sorrow. She found concern and love instead. He wasn't going anywhere, and he would be there for her if she needed to fall apart.

_**All day long I can hear people talking out loud  
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd  
Old Mr. Webster could never define  
What's being said between your heart and mine**_

She didn't want to talk to anyone. She didn't even want to talk to Jane. She just wanted drown out the day, as if it never happened. Throwing her keys down, she took off her jacket and through it to the ground.

Jane shut the door to her house and turned around to find Lisbon pushing him against the door and throwing her lips upon his. As much as he wanted to get lost in her, he wasn't going to let their suspension lead to something that shouldn't happen out of anger and without a clear head. And Lisbon was far from happy and evidently not thinking.

She brought her hands to the inside of his jacket and pulled it over his shoulders, and he let it hit the floor. When she started to fumble with the buttons of his vest, he grabbed her hands and broke the kiss. She looked startled, but then confused. What had she done?

She was about to apologize when Jane put his finger to her lips. He took her hand in his and led her to the couch. He sat down and nodded to her to come and sit with him. She hesitantly sat down next to him. She half expected him to turn the television on and throw in an old sappy movie to try and cheer her up.

Instead she felt his arm go across her back and pull her in close to his chest. Her head rested against his shoulder and she finally understood. There were no words for how she was feeling, there was no explanation for how he could speak to her with no words.

_**The smile on your face lets me know that you need me  
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me  
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall  
You say it best when you say nothing at all**_

She woke up to the sound of birds chirping outside of the window. Light had just started streaming into the room, and she realized she had slept through the night. As she lay there, thinking about what had happened the night before, she was grateful for the man she was curled up into. He laid beside her, his arm around her waist, their legs intertwined, sleeping peacefully.

It was the first she had seen him sleeping. He was actually sleeping. She shifted her legs to get them out from in between his, gently, but to no avail. When she looked back up to his face, she saw his blue eyes staring back at her. She had woken him, but he didn't seem to care.

A smile appeared on his face as he shifted her so she was laying directly on top of him. He brought one of his hands to her face and stroked it gently. She fell last night, and he was there to catch her. He didn't take advantage of her when she threw herself at him, instead he just held her all night, never leaving her side.

They could read each other like an open book. Both knew exactly what the other was thinking, feeling, wanting.

It was amazing how they didn't have to say anything at all.

* * *

**RnR, if you like. **

**- Kai **


	23. Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough

**A/N: Angst warning. Had a couple of different ideas for this one, took one and just let it run it's course. I don't know when the next time I'll be able post, the next two days at work are going to be insane, and both Sat and Sun I'm away. But I'll try and have one up Friday night. :) **

**HUGE thank you to Divinia Serit, mwalter1, JelloFanatic123, shopping-luva91, 7, PhoenixWytch, lil smiles, yasminbanu786, JocelynMcC, Jadestar1981, and JollyRancher543321 for your lovely reviews. I was so happy to see everyone enjoying the fluff. Which is rare these days. LOL. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the show or the song. **

**

* * *

**

**Song: Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough **

**Artist(s): Don Henley and Patty Smyth**

* * *

_**Now, I don't want to lose you  
but I don't want to use you  
just to have somebody by my side  
And I don't want to hate you  
I don't want to take you  
but I don't want to be the one to cry**_

_**And that don't really matter to anyone anymore  
But like a fool I keep losing my place  
and I keep seeing you walk through that door**_

Lisbon sat on the steps to her back patio, looking up at the dark sky. No stars were out tonight, and she knew why. There was no reason for wishing and there was no reason for praying. Things weren't the same, things were completely different.

Everything changes when you fall in love with someone you know you can't have. She tried hard to guard her heart each time they were together. It was no use though, he brought out the woman in her when they made love, and she couldn't hide anything from him. He read her like words off paper.

She didn't want to lose him, as a friend or as a lover, but she didn't want to use him just to keep herself happy. She tried avoiding him and she tried hating him, but one look at his baby blues and his beautiful smile, and she gave in. In the end she knew she was going to be the one who ended up crying.

She kept hoping she would see him walk through her door, pick her up and carry her off into her bedroom. For just one more night.

_**But there's a danger in loving somebody too much  
And it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust  
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are  
Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough**_

She had said things today that she shouldn't have. Words that were better left unsaid, but now were out in the open. She wondered if he would be able to look at her the same. The way she felt about him was like the adrenaline she felt when chasing a perp. And probably just as dangerous.

Lisbon through her arms around herself and shivered as the cool breeze swept across her. She took it as a sign that things weren't about to get better, they were just going to get worse. Footsteps made their way onto her patio, and Lisbon quickly turned around to meet the brown suede shoes. She brought her eyes up slowly, already knowing who it was. She was surprised to find him at her house, on her patio, in front of her. She let out a sigh when her eyes met his.

"Jane."

Jane sat down next to her and folded his hands loosely in front of him and they both stared straight ahead into her yard.

"I shouldn't have said anything. If I made you uncomfortable, I'm sorry."

"You love me." Jane said quietly.

"Yeah."

_**Now, I could never change you  
I don't want to blame you  
Baby, you don't have to take the fall  
Yes, I may have hurt you, but I did not desert you  
Maybe I just want to have it all**_

_**It makes a sound like thunder  
it makes me feel like rain  
And like a fool who will never see the truth  
I keep thinking something's gonna change**_

"I don't want to change you or make you feel differently then you do. I know I never could."

"You don't have to do this."

Lisbon turned her head to him, as he continued to look forward. "Yes, I do."

"I shouldn't have led you on like I did. I shouldn't have-"

"Stop."

Jane turned to look at her and met her somber eyes. "This isn't your fault. It's my own."

"I hurt you. That's my fault. I should have prevented that."

Hearing him say it was his fault hurt her even more. She knew it wasn't his fault. He didn't know she would fall in love with him. And he surely didn't know that this was all going to end up hurting her more than she thought anything ever could.

"I'm just a fool who refused to see reality."

"You're no fool, Lisbon. I'm the fool to think I could change."

_**But there's a danger in loving somebody too much  
And it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust  
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are  
Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough**_

They were both fools. Fools in love. She was in love with him and he was in love with his wife. They were playing with fire, and it was spreading like wild fire. She was hurting because he couldn't love her back, as much as he wanted too. And he was hurting, to see what he was doing to her. He cared about her so much, and maybe deep down, he did love Lisbon. But at the same time, he just couldn't bring himself to be with her completely, wholeheartedly, and not feel like he was betraying his wife.

There was a reason why he couldn't stay with her, as much as he would like to.

_**And there's no way home  
When it's late at night and you're all alone  
Are there things that you wanted to say?  
And do you feel me beside you in your bed  
There beside you, where I used to lay?**_

_**And there's a danger in loving somebody too much  
And it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch  
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are  
Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough**_

She knew she was going to end up alone at the end of the night, and there was no way around it. He had come to tell her he couldn't do this anymore. To end things with her.

"Why are you here?" Lisbon didn't feel like dragging on with the conversation. He might as well get to what he wanted to say.

"I came to see if you were OK."

"I'm fine. I just wish I could take back what I said." If she had, maybe she would be able to have a few more nights of holding him close and pretending that he actually wanted to be with her.

"I don't." Lisbon was taken back by his honesty.

"Why?"

"Keeping your feelings to yourself, they take a hold of you, and they eat away at you. I know." Sorrow appeared in Jane's eyes, and Lisbon realized that as much as he needed her each time they were together, he wasn't going to miss her beside him. Because when it came down to it, he just wished he could have his wife laying there beside him.

Love just wasn't enough for him.

* * *

**RnR, if you please. **

**- Kai **


	24. How To Save A Life

**A/N: This one is very angsty but somewhat fluffy. I really enjoyed writing this one. I hope you guys like it as much as I do. **

**Quick thanks to all that reviewed: 7, mwalter1, shopping-luva91, PhoenixWytch, Slick1, JocelynMcC, Jadestar1981, JollyRancher544321, and FallIntoAHellCalledLove(Ch. 21-23). **

**Disclaimer: Don't own the song or the show, shocking! **

**

* * *

**

**Song: How To Save A Life**

**Artist(s): The Fray **

* * *

_**Step one you say we need to talk  
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk  
He smiles politely back at you  
You stare politely right on through  
Some sort of window to your right  
As he goes left and you stay right  
Between the lines of fear and blame  
You begin to wonder why you came**_

Walking down the hall, she wasn't sure what to expect. She was patted down at the first gate, and she was about to be searched again. She hated the feeling, but she's sure Jane hated it more. He had to go through it everyday, multiple times. He was a prisoner now, and not at the mercy of her hands. She did everything in her power to keep him from being taken into custody. Now she was doing everything in her power to get him out of prison. He didn't belong there.

She opened the door slowly to the room he was waiting in. Seeing him pacing the room in the orange jumpsuit, made her heart stop. Lisbon gathered herself before stepping in and closing the door, causing him to stop his pacing and look over to her.

"Hey."

He didn't say anything back, but instead looked down, as if he was disappointed to see her and not someone else. In all honesty, he just didn't want her to see him like this. She was trying so hard to get him out of prison that she was losing sleep, losing her mind, losing her life.

"What are you doing here?" Jane asked quietly.

"I have news. Can we talk?" Lisbon asked.

"Are you going to give me a choice?"

Lisbon smiled; he knew her better than she thought. "No. It's good news, actually. Sit down." Lisbon nodded to the chairs and went to grab one for her self to sit in.

"Don't bother."

Lisbon stopped in her tracks and looked straight into his eyes. She thought she would find hope and relief, but instead she found emptiness.

"I can get you out of here." Lisbon was desperate. She thought she could deny it but there was no way around it. He didn't care if he was in prison. He got what he wanted.

"It doesn't matter, Lisbon." He was so somber, so vacant, she wish she knew where to find the man that she had once knew, before all this happened.

"It does matter. Don't you want to get on with your life? Don't you want to be able to experience life after redemption? You can move on, Jane. He's dead, your family isn't in vain. All those lives he took, their families' have some sort of peace."

"And I've found mine."

Lisbon couldn't look at him anymore. She turned her head quickly to the only light that shed into the room, through a small window to the left.

"It's OK, I know you tried. But it's better this way."

Lisbon turned her head quickly to meet him. "How can you say that?"

He smiled politely at her, not showing any other emotion. She was at the point of exhaustion. She didn't know what to do anymore. She feared she'd lose him forever and he was doing nothing to help her save himself. She blamed him for where he was now, why she was where she was, why she had nothing left in her life, besides the will to rescue him from a life of imprisonment. It was all his fault.

"There's nothing left for me outside of these gates."

He turned to his right and looked out the window, avoiding eye contact with her, he didn't want to see the hurt he just instilled in her. She quickly turned to her right and walked out the door. As she walked down the hall, and the whole drive home, she wondered why she was wasting all her energy on him. Was it even worth it?

_**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life**_

She sat up all night, curled up on her couch, wondering where she went wrong.

"_There's nothing left for me…"_

How he could think that was beyond her comprehension. There was so much left for him to experience. So many people who still cared about him, and who wanted him home.

She needed him to believe in a future, not only for his sake, but for her own. She wouldn't be able to handle not seeing him again. She might be caught in between her bittersweet sorrow and her quest for happiness but she was going to find a way to make this better.

_**Let him know that you know best  
Cause after all you do know best  
Try to slip past his defense  
Without granting innocence  
Lay down a list of what is wrong  
The things you've told him all along  
And pray to God he hears you  
And pray to God he hears you**_

A few days went by, and after a few phone calls, a favor and three body searches, she made her way down the hall of the private apartments in the prison. She never was in favor of these accessories that the prisoners were awarded. She didn't think they deserved visitors, nor did they deserve any private time away from their cell, with family. Pleasure wasn't something they should be granted after committing serious crimes. But here she was, against her own views, using her power in her favor.

She used the key the guard had given her to open the door to the apartment they had told her he was in. They had given him clothes to change into, she wouldn't have to see him in that ugly orange jump suit. Orange just wasn't his color. She was glad she would be able to see him in his own clothes, even if it was for the last time.

Everything was going to be OK, after today. Hopefully she would be able to find some kind of closure.

She found him staring out the window, lost in whatever he was thinking about. It's one of the things she loved most about him. He was always so exquisite even when he was completely caught up in something.

His attention was drawn to her when he felt her move closer to him.

"Why am I here?"

"I called in a favor. Someone owed me." Lisbon looked down, feeling a little shy.

"Some favor." Jane raised his eyebrows.

It was good to see him being playful again. She felt a smile fall upon her face, but quickly replaced it with a serious one.

"What?" Jane asked, confused to her sudden change of expression.

"Aren't you curious to why I had this set up?"

"I figured you were going to help me escape." Jane said with a bought of sarcasm. His blank expression almost fooled her, but she recovered from her shock, and shot him a glare.

"I want you to hear me out."

"I can do that."

"Good." Lisbon took the opportunity and grabbed his shirt with her finger and pulled him to her. She brought her lips to his and allowed her hand to travel up into his curls. She moved her lips along his, savoring the moment, as he stayed still. She didn't know it, but he was taking it all in.

She pulled away, leaving him in awe, and wanting more. "That wasn't talking."

"I know."

"We can't to this." Jane took a step back, making her hands fall down to her sides.

"Why?"

"Because it's wrong." Jane turned to look out the window, putting his back to Lisbon.

"You're in prison. That's wrong."

"I killed a man." Jane looked down, too upset to say anything more.

"And he killed dozens of innocent people. He ruined so many families' lives, including yours."

"It doesn't make it right. I don't deserve happiness, Lisbon."

She was trying so hard to get past his defenses. He was so well guarded she wondered if she'd ever get through. She walked up to him and placed her hand on his shoulder. At the warmth of her touch, he turned his head towards her, as she approached him at his side.

"Well, what about me? Don't I deserve happiness?"

Lisbon saw his eyes fill with passion and longing. "You deserve much more than that."

"You could be sent to prison for the rest of your life, Jane. I can't-I-." She fumbled for words. She couldn't place them in the right order, nor could she find the ones that seemed fitting for the moment. She closed her eyes hoping she would be able to find them without the distraction of his beautiful face.

He turned his body completely to face her and put his hand on her cheek. She gasped at the feel of his hand, a sensation she had been yearning for now, for months. She opened her eyes slowly, to capture the moment of when her eyes locked on his baby blues.

"I know you're guilty of many things, but being a cold blooded murder isn't one of them. You saved lives, Jane. I can't forget that. There are so many things wrong in the world, and you being in prison after all the good you have done, is illogical. I've told you this before and I'll tell you again. I'm not leaving your side. And I'm not letting you take the blame for this."

Tears were forming in his eyes as he listened to her words. She was telling him all the things he needed to hear, but never wanted to believe. She was giving him faith, hope and trying to grant him freedom.

She had prayed for the last few months that eventually one day he would listen to her and just hear her out. And finally, he was.

_**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life**_

She thought back on how much she had lost, her friends, her job, her sanity. She didn't regret any of it. In this moment, every thing that she had lost was irrelevant. This was between her and Jane. The friendship that meant the most to her, the person that meant the most to her, was standing in front of her, accepting her.

_**As he begins to raise his voice  
You lower yours and grant him one last choice  
Drive until you lose the road  
Or break with the ones you've followed  
He will do one of two things  
He will admit to everything  
Or he'll say he's just not the same  
And you'll begin to wonder why you came**_

"I can't let you do this. You've lost so much already." Jane stroked her cheek and wiped away the single tear that fell from her eye.

"You make me happy. I can't lose you too." She thought he had gotten through to him. She thought she was making progress, but now she wasn't so sure.

"Why can't you just accept this!" Jane bellowed as he let go of her.

"I've gone too far and have done too much. I'm not turning around. You can either go along with it or I will do it with out your help." She said softly.

She wasn't giving up on him, just like she said she wouldn't. He wanted so much to just take her in his arms and hold her, but he knew if he did, it would just make things harder for her down the road.

"Lisbon, please?" Jane was appealing her demands of pursing this any further.

"This isn't just about you, anymore Jane. There's me."

Lisbon didn't allow him to respond. She threw her arms around his neck and crushed her lips against his. This time he responded just as forcefully as her, tossing his hands into her hair, keeping her close to him. The kiss deepened and she found herself exploring the inside of his mouth with her tongue. He was so warm, so sweet. This was nothing like she had imagined.

Before she could move her hands to his chest he grabbed her wrists in one of his hands and pulled her off of him. He looked deep into her eyes of fiery passion, as his eyes mirrored hers.

"Please, Jane. If I'm going to lose you for a lifetime, at least let me have you for one night."

He had two choices, grant her this wish, or walk away and save her from the pain he knew would be much worse if they were to consummate their relationship. As she stood there looking into his eyes, wondering if he'd leave her there or let her be with him just this once, she started to regret her decision to come back.

_**Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life  
How to save a life  
How to save a life**_

All her thoughts were thrown to the wind when he wrapped his arm around her waist and hoisted her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist and brought her lips down to his as he walked over to the bed. He stopped at the edge of the bed and lied her down before pulling his body on top of hers. He propped his weight on his elbows as she unbuttoned his shirt, slowly. He kept his eyes on her, examining her face while she undressed him.

Tomorrow would have to wait, tonight was theirs and theirs alone.

He let his hand slide from her shoulder down her side, to her hip and he pulled her closer to him. She pushed off his shirt with her hands and laid small kisses across his chest. He closed his eyes, trying to relish every touch of her lips to his skin. She was like heaven, and he was experiencing it in the best way possible.

He realized then that she would do anything for him. She would stay up all night searching for a way to save his life.

He caught her eyes in his as he brought his hand up to her face, cupping it tenderly as he placed a kiss on her forehead, then her nose, and finally her lips.

"I'll be waiting for you outside those gates." Lisbon whispered softly in Jane's ear.

She leaned back and brought her lips to his, as a smile spread across his face.

* * *

***** Just a quick explanation. In some states they allow prisoners to have private visits with their loved ones, usually just wives, and they are sometimes called conjugal visits. I'm sure most of you know what happens during those visits. Anyways, in California, they have apartments in which people can sign up to have a couple days alone with their loved one that is in prison. There are lots of rules during the time they are in the apartment, which is still on prison grounds. Anyways, I know this because I did some research before using it in this story. So just in case you guys were wondering about the little apartment. :) *****

**RnR, if you wish. **

**- Kai **


	25. What Might Have Been

**A/N: I'm so sorry for the late update. I've been super busy at work and at home so I haven't had a chance to upload, plus this song was giving me a run for my money. We are 1/4 way there! Here's to hoping the next 25 fics are as good as the last ones! You guys have been awesome! BTW, this is a angsty chapter. No fluff. :(  
**

**A huge thank you to: 7, mwalter1, JollyRancher543321, PhoenixWytch, shopping-luva91, Jadestar1981, Americanchick, Jisbon-Fan, JelloFanatic123, NsCvIuS, and Dark_hearts for their reviews. BTW, Dark_hearts, all the songs you listed in your review for suggestions are in the shuffle. They were in their before you suggested them so I thought that was pretty cool that you thought of those songs and they were all in there. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the song or the show. :) **

**

* * *

**

**Song: What Might Have Been**

**Artist(s): Little Texas **

* * *

_**Sure I think about you now and then**_

_**But it's been a long long time**_

_**Well I've got a good life now**_

_**And I've moved on**_

_**So when you cross my mind**_

It had been a long time since he had thought about her. Every time he remembered moments of their time together, he couldn't help but smile. There was nothing but good. Great even. And he was doing great now, without her. He had moved on from his painful past and from her, from everything. She had been exactly what he needed at that point in his life. And he thinks he was exactly what she was looking for too.

He froze at the sight of her. Just sitting at the bar, having a drink. That's all. He hadn't seen her in a few years, and age was creeping up on both of them. But she was still the same beautiful Lisbon he'd always known. He knew he should just turn around and go, not say hello, make his presence known. But he couldn't resist seeing her again.

Jane walked up to the side of the bar, Lisbon was on the phone, too busy to notice him.

"Hey." The bartender threw out a smile at the sight of Jane. He was a regular every Wednesday night for the past year. "Same as always?"

Jane nodded, not saying a word. He didn't take his eyes off Lisbon, either. The bartender watched Jane as he poured his drink. He leaned over as he placed the drink in front of Jane, so that only Jane would hear him. "She's been on that phone for the last 20 minutes, fight with the mister it seems."

"Mister?" Jane looked puzzled.

"Yeah, she's got a ring on, I assume she's arguing with her hub."

"Probably right, Denny." Jane raised his glass to the bartender as he leaned back over to his side of the bar.

Lisbon through the phone down on the bar. "Ass."

Jane couldn't help but let out a slight chuckle. He didn't mean for it to come out as loud as it did, but when he saw Lisbon spin her head around, he knew he was going to get a mouth full.

"And what exactly is so funny?" Lisbon said with a feisty tone in her voice. Her eyes went from anger to shock when her eyes met his.

"Some things never change." Jane smiled cockily at her.

"Some things do." Lisbon's face brightened at the sight of his smile.

Everything that they had shared was crossing his mind once again.

_**I try not to think about what might have been**_

'_**Cause that was then**_

_**And we have taken different roads**_

_**We can't go back again**_

_**There's no use giving in**_

_**And there's no way to know**_

_**What might have been**_

He tried to push them out of his mind. It was making it so much harder to concentrate. All the emotions were flooding him. Taking him over. He tried to remind himself that whatever they had was gone, and everything was different now. Especially for her. She was married now.

"So who's the lucky man." Jane looked down at his drink and Lisbon did the same.

"You don't know him. His name's William."

"Strong name."

"Don't try to analyze my husband by his name. You don't know him."

"You're right. I don't. I'm sorry."

Suddenly he found himself wondering what life might be like if he were the one she married. What if they never parted ways? What if they never said good-bye? He shook his head trying to get rid of these ridiculous contemplations that his brain decided to cook up. There was no use in thinking about how different things could be. But he couldn't help but ask.

"What would have happened if-" Jane looked up at her to lock his eyes with hers before continuing. "-I never left?"

"Honestly, you probably would have ended up 6 feet under." Lisbon tossed him a quick mischievous smile.

"Same old cutting remarks, Lisbon." Jane tilted his glass to her before taking a sip.

"Some things never change."

_**We could sit and talk about this all night long**_

_**And wonder why we didn't last**_

_**Yes they might be the best days we will ever know**_

_**But we'll have to leave them in the past**_

"What has changed with you?" Lisbon asked out of curiosity.

"Eh." Jane shrugged his shoulders. "Really?"

Lisbon nodded, she wanted to know.

"I'm not married. Honestly, I haven't been with anyone since you."

Lisbon's face changed from playful to somber in a instant. Hearing those words come from him were heartbreaking. She had wished he had found someone and had moved on to a better life.

"Life's been good. I work with a PI company. Lot's of traveling." Jane nods his head in agreement with his own words. "I sleep, too."

He wouldn't admit it, but life was nothing like it was with her. It was always an adventure with her. She always wanted to be in control, but he read her like an open book. There were times that she surprised him, though. There were times where he thought there was nothing he wanted more in his life than to be with her forever. His life would be complete if he had her always and forever. Yes, those were the best days of his life.

Time came when he finally felt her pulling away. He still played the same tricks he always did. He could never cooperate long enough to hold a deep conversation with out turning it into some sort of game. She never really cared for the way he dealt with his guilt ridden past, but it became too much for her.

He couldn't change who he was, and he didn't know how else to deal with his grief. He would never get over his wife and child and what happened to them. He would never forgive himself. But he had decided to move on and with that he needed a way to cover up his past and the pain in which accompanied it. Playing games and keeping life interesting with his tricks kept his mind from going back to those painful memories. She understood that, and he was thankful for at least that, but he could never ask her to live with his careless ways.

_**So try not to think about what might have been**_

'_**Cause that was then**_

_**And we have taken different roads**_

_**We can't go back again**_

_**There's no use giving in**_

_**And there's no way to know**_

_**What might have been**_

"And I don't normally think my husband is an ass." Lisbon said after a brief moment of silence.

"I hope not." Jane smiled softly. "I hope he's everything you ever wanted."

"He is." Lisbon said quietly.

He couldn't tell if she was holding back because she didn't want to hurt his feelings or if he really wasn't and she was just lying to cover up the fact that maybe she was indeed, wondering the same as him.

"Anything like me?"

Lisbon seemed shocked at his direct approach to the subject. She thought about it before answering.

"He's nothing like you."

"I'm sure that's a relief." Jane set down his empty glass onto the bar.

"I didn't mean it in that sense."

Jane's eyebrows clustered in confusion but slowly relaxed allowing them to come back to their natural form as he realized what she was saying. Her husband was nothing like him. And that seemed to displease her in more ways than one.

_**The same old look in your eyes**_

_**It's a beautiful night**_

_**I'm so tempted to stay**_

_**But too much time has gone by**_

_**We should just say good-bye**_

_**And turn and walk away**_

He remembered that look in her eyes. The deep longing for something that was missing. The night turned into a beautiful one as soon as he laid eyes on her. He was enticed to stay with her, but he knew if he did, things would lead into something they both couldn't control. He wanted so much to loose control, to be lost in her once again. He didn't want to hurt her though, she had a good life now, and he was finally able to live again, with out guilt or pain.

The best thing for both of them was to say good-bye with best wishes and walk away.

_**And try not to think about what might have been**_

'_**Cause that was then**_

_**And we have taken different roads**_

_**We can't go back again**_

_**There's no use given in**_

_**And there's no way to know**_

_**What might have been**_

_**No we'll never know**_

_**What might have been**_

It was so hard not to think about what could happen if he did stay. Even though he knew what it would entail. His place, no clothes, and a sea of regret after their love making. He knew the passion was still there, the heat was burning between them. He broke their eye contact, in hopes of getting rid of the chemistry that was piling between them.

"I should get going, Lisbon." Jane reached into his pocket and pulled out some money. He threw a few bills down and nodded towards Denny, letting him know he paid.

Jane turned his attention back to Lisbon who was looking down at her drink, refusing to look at Jane and say good-bye once again to one of the best things that ever happened in her life.

"Take care." Jane grabbed her hand and lifted it to his lips and placed a soft kiss on the back of her hand.

Lisbon's head shot around just as he placed her hand back down on the bar. He gave her a forced smile and turned around and starting walking away. Lisbon watched him walk away and then slowly turned back to the bar. She thought for a moment of how slim the chances of her bumping into him were and how great it was to see him again.

It was a last minute decision, but she found herself running toward him and calling out his name. "Jane!" She had to tell him.

Lisbon opened the door to the restaurant and walked outside onto the sidewalk. She looked both ways before seeing him to her left, about to turn the corner.

"Jane!" At the sound of her voice, he stopped and turned around, just as she was running up to him. She flew into his open arms and wrapped her own arms around him tightly. She didn't ever want to let go in that moment. But it was just a moment. She slowly let go and brought her mouth to his ear.

"I think about it too." She pulled back and met his gaze. He knew what she was saying.

What might have been.

* * *

**RnR, if you like. **

**- Kai **


	26. The Last Worthless Evening

**A/N: Sorry for the late update, I have a feeling I won't be able to update every night like I used. Things at both my jobs are pretty hectic right now. Anyways this chapter is pretty angsty, but a better ending. :) **

**Thanks to mwalter1, JelloFanatic123, yasminbanu786, PhoenixWytch, shopping-luva91, CaterinaCarmela, JocelynMcC, Jadestar1981, kathalathh, 7 and Miss Canninbal Princess (Ch. 1&2) for their reviews. I really appreciate your time to reading and then reviewing even if you just discovered the series! :) **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the show or the song.**

**

* * *

**

**Song: The Last Worthless Evening **

**Artist: Don Henley **

* * *

_**I know you broke up with him and your heart's still on the shelf  
It's been over two years for me and I'm still not quite myself  
You can't be with someone new and you can't go back to him  
You're beginning to realize that it's sink or swim**_

_**I see you around sometimes and my heart just melts  
You're lookin' like if you had your wish you'd be somewhere else  
And it just breaks my heart to see you here this way  
Someday I'll get the nerve to walk up to you and say**_

He watched as Lisbon strolled into her office lazily. She was put together just enough for everyone, but him, not to notice how broken up she was. He could tell by the minor amount of make-up that she had applied on her face to cover up the small circles underneath her eyes. She never wore make-up, but at the same time, she never let anyone know that she had lost control of anything in her life. She had to keep something in her life consistent and work was that place.

She thought she did a good job of hiding her personal life from everyone, including her nosy consultant. However, he knew everything. How could he not? He paid extra close attention to her. She was different from the rest of the team, and he held a soft spot for her since day one. He tried to keep it to him self, it was harder than he thought.

He tried to keep things as close to normal as possible. He kept doing his games and tricks, and of course being a pain in the ass, which he was very good at doing. He didn't want her to know that he knew what was going on. And he was good a keeping secrets.

He wanted to help her through this rough patch in her life, but he knew that she needed to come to him willingly. She needed to realize that she could either sink in the emotional pool she was swimming in or she could rise to the surface and pull herself out.

Jane appeared at her door frame and looked on as she held her head up at her desk, by her hands. She ran her hands through her hair and let out a deep sigh. She had her eyes closed and his heart just softened at the sight of her being in such distress. He wanted so bad to wrap his arms around her and hold her and let her know it would all be okay.

This was the last place she looked like she wanted to be. Jane was sure she'd much rather be curled up on her couch watching old movies with a bucket of licorice. Of all the times for his heart to go hay wire he wished it wasn't today. Something was holding him back from walking up to her and consoling her.

_**This is the last worthless evening that you'll have to spend  
Just gimme a chance to show you how to love again  
This is the last worthless evening that you'll have to spend  
'Cause I'll be there when your broken heart is on the mend**_

The hours past, and since they had no case, Lisbon had no reason to leave her office. The only time they heard from her was when she called Cho to tell them all to go home. They were all reluctant to go, in case a investigation popped up. Lisbon assured them that if needed, she would call. After they had been gone for about an hour, Jane toyed with the idea of trying to get Lisbon out of the office.

He was lying on the couch thinking of different ways of convincing her to go home. But none of his plans seemed to have a good outcome. He sat up straight when he finally thought of a plan that would work perfectly. She might not listen to him, but she would definitely leave if her boss told her to.

A half an hour later, after convincing Minelli to let Lisbon have the rest of the evening off, Minelli was in her office telling her to go home. She didn't understand why he was suddenly being so liberal during regular hours, but she didn't argue. Jane watched Minelli leave her office, while sitting on Rigsby's desk, waiting for Lisbon.

She walked out of her office just minutes after Minelli had left, closing and locking the door to her office. She could feel his eyes on her and turned around to meet his gaze from 20 feet away. She gave him a small smile, and he found that he had missed seeing it. He wasn't going to let her know that he was the one who persuaded Minelli into letting her get out of here. That would lead her to believe that he knew all about her situation.

He was utterly surprised when she started walking towards him instead of down the hall and out of the building. He gathered himself quickly, though, and spread a smile across his face.

"Heading out early?"

"Minelli suggested I have some "me" time." Lisbon said with some superstition. "What is that exactly?"

Lisbon rested her back against Rigsby's desk next to Jane. "Whatever you want it to be."

Jane took one look at her eyes and decided he wanted to give her a night to forget about everything.

"You want to go get a drink?" Jane raised his eyebrows as she looked at him quizzically

"What are you trying to imply? Do I look like I need a drink?"

"No. I'm just asking as a friend." Secretly he just wanted to show her he could help mend her broken heart.

"Okay." Lisbon whispered softly. "I think I can manage a drink. With a friend."

They both smiled as she stood up and he followed her down the hall and out of the building.

_**Every night it's the same old crowd in smoky rooms  
You catch a faint glimpse of love sometimes but it never blooms  
And I've been around this block a time or two  
I've made some big mistakes but girl I promise you, I promise you**_

Jane let Lisbon pick the place, and he wasn't surprised when she ended up picking a small bar and restaurant not far from her house. It had a smoky musty feel to it, not something he would be caught in. But this was about Lisbon and she was feeling a bit suffocated and lonely, and this seemed to echo her mood.

They both ordered a beer and sat back and talked briefly about last week's case, and he tried to teach her some of the tricks he used to help solve the case. She caught on pretty well, and he had her try it on the bartender, but she failed miserably.

"I still don't understand how you do it." Lisbon admitted

"It's all in the mind, Lisbon."

Lisbon nodded her head. "All in your mind."

They both took a swig of their beer. Lisbon set hers down and looked toward Jane's direction, but seemed to get lost in something past him. He looked in the direction her eyes were fixated on and saw a couple in the corner, flirting aimlessly with one another. He turned back to her just as she looked down at her drink.

"Drunken lovers in bars never last." Jane pointed out.

"Yeah, well at least there is a glimpse of happiness in their future." Lisbon said softly trying her best to hide her emotions.

"Pleasure maybe, happiness, I'm doubtful." Jane tried to assure her.

Lisbon drew out her purse to collect money from her wallet. Jane put his hand on hers as she was unzipping her bag. He just shook his head as she looked at him, telling her that he would foot the bill.

"Jane-", Lisbon started to protest.

"No, Lisbon. I asked you." Jane was a man of his word. If he asked someone to accompany him or to go do something, he would pay. He tried his best to be a man of respect and poise. He didn't want her to think he was full of pride and animosity. And at times he was filled with those things.

There had been many things he regretted. So many mistakes he had made in his life that he couldn't fix. But he wasn't going to let Lisbon's happiness be another mistake. He promised himself that.

"Thanks Jane."

Jane smiled as she walked out the door. Something got to him as he watched her disappear. Maybe it was too soon for her.

_**This is the last worthless evening that you'll have to spend  
Just gimme a chance to show you how to love again  
This is the last worthless evening that you'll have to spend  
'Cause it won't be long 'till your little heart is on the mend**_

_**Time, time tickin' tickin' tickin' (tickin' away)**_

He sat there and pondered for a moment whether or not he had made her situation more unbearable. She had only been single for a few days, and the jerk that kept breaking her heart over the past several months was still on her mind. He could tell by the look in her eyes as she watched the blatant couple in the bar.

He knew she was hurting but he just wanted to take her mind of things for a few hours, but now he was feeling guilty and thinking maybe he just blew all his chances to hell. He didn't know what he was thinking. Deep down he just wanted to make her forget about that idiot all together. Right now, though, that wasn't possible.

He watched the clock ticking away for a little while before composing himself and getting up from the bar, leaving his money under his glass. He wasn't going to let anything stand in the way of making things right by Lisbon.

_**People inside their houses with the shades pulled down  
God knows we could use some romance in this sleepy bedroom town  
I know you're still afraid to rush into anything  
But there're just so many summers babe and just so many springs**_

He pulled up to her house, and parked his car. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. He couldn't believe he was this nervous, almost like he was back in high school coming to pick up his date for the first time.

Not knowing what to say or what to do, he walked up to her door. He decided he'd wait to see what her state of mind was like. He was being impulsive today, so he might as well continue. The door bell rang, louder than he expected and he looked around at all the houses. All the shades were pulled down and the lights were off. The lack of light in the neighborhood didn't give him any hope for what he was about to do.

The door flew open, and Lisbon stood there in her pajama tank top and shorts. She opened the screen door to get a better look at Jane. She couldn't believe he was standing on her door steps.

"Couldn't sleep?" Lisbon asked, trying to avoid any conversation about her self.

"I'm sorry, Lisbon."

"For what?" Lisbon leaned her body up against the screen door and folded her arms across her chest.

Her porch light was off so he couldn't see her face well, but he could by the quiver in her voice that she had been crying. She was probably thankful for the darkness, and that's why she wasn't inviting him in. He took it upon himself to enter her house. As he walked by her and into her living room she closed the screen and followed him in.

"I didn't ask you to come in."

"I know."

"You know?" Lisbon said with and angry mock.

"I know everything." Jane hoped that she would take the hint and just open up.

"I didn't invite you in, because I want to be alone. Please leave." Lisbon folded her hands across her chest and she moved out of the way of the door.

Jane looked around before bringing his eyes back to hers. "I've been trying to figure out different ways to tell you. To talk to you. I've just never been able to get the audacity to do so."

"Tell me what?"

"He's not worth it Lisbon. He never was. If you can't see that than you're not as clever as I thought you were. You deserve so much more than that. You should know that."

Lisbon turned her head to look toward the wall in her living room, across from her, as Jane looked directly at her. He waited for her to say something or to react, and when she didn't he walked slowly to the door, stopping in front of her. He looked at her once more, as she avoided eye contact with him. He grabbed the door handle and shut the door and then turned back to Lisbon. He knew she wasn't ready to move on but he wanted her to know that when she was ready, he'd be there waiting.

He felt her head hit his shoulder and he wrapped his arms around her as he felt her fall into him. She was letting go. She didn't make any noise, but he knew she was crying. The tears were heavy, and they wet his shirt instantly. He picked her up and carried her to love seat that sat in her living room corner. He sat down and held her close as she sat curled up on his lap. He was going to give her all the time she needed.

_**And this is the last worthless evening that you'll have to spend babe**_

_**Just gimme a chance darlin' to show you how to love again  
This is the last worthless evening  
That you'll have to spend 'cause it won't be long  
'Til your broken heart is on the mend**_

He was going to help her fix the broken heart she was left with, and he was going to do everything in his power to make sure it never broke again. He just needed her to give him a chance. He wouldn't need more than one.

They both had too many nights where they couldn't sleep. And tonight was going to be the last worthless evening either of them would have to spend.

* * *

**RnR, if you wish.**

**- Kai**


	27. Better As A Memory

**A/N: Angst. No happiness today. Song is one of my favorites. :(Sorry for the late update. Between my work and my other job, there's no time left at the end of the day except for sleep. LOL. I need another vacation. **

**Thanks to mwalter1, shoppin-luva91, yasminbanu786, JocelynMcC, JelloFanatic123, Colonel Sam Carter, 7, and Jadestar1981 for their reviews. **

**All mistakes are my own.  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the show or the song.  
**

* * *

**Song: Better As A Memory**

**Artist: Kenny Chesney **

* * *

_**I move on like a sinners prayer  
I let 'em go like a levee breaks  
Walk away as if I don't care  
Learn to shoulder my mistakes  
I'm built to fade like your favorite song  
Gettin' reckless when there's no need  
Laugh as your stories ramble on  
Break my heart but it won't bleed  
My only friends are pirates, it's just who I am  
I'm better as a memory than as your man**_

He walked down the beach to meet her. The wind was blowing her hair as she watched the never ending ocean. Lost in thought, she never heard him approaching, but nevertheless, she was happy to see him standing there. It had been a while since she had seen him alone, she was always wondering when the next time would be. That was something he knew, something he had let happen. He never should have let it happen.

"Hey, you." Lisbon's said acknowledging his presence, as she continued to look out into the ocean.

"It's beautiful." Jane said as Lisbon turned and smiled at him.

How was he going to tell her he was leaving? Just looking at her smile was making his heart break, in probably the smallest way it knew how these days. He had to hold his front, let her go like it was no big deal, walk away as if nothing ever mattered. He has made many mistakes in his life, and he knew letting her get too close was another one he couldn't risk making. It hurt too much to let her in, and it hurt too much to let her go. In the end moving on was the best thing for both of them, he could see that.

He built a barrier around him self, so much that he didn't even recognize who he was half the time. He was careless most of the time, which she had gotten used to. She picked up the pieces, not bothering to ask questions. She knew he was broken. In the end it didn't stop her from protecting him.

He couldn't let her do it anymore, it was time to put himself in her past.

_**I'm never sure when the truth won't do  
I'm pretty good on a lonely night  
I move on the way a storm blows through  
I never stay, but then again, I might  
I struggle sometimes to find the words  
Always sure until I doubt  
Walk a line until it blurs  
Build walls too high to climb out  
But I'm honest to a fault, it's just who I am  
I'm better as a memory than as your man**_

"Why am I here?" Lisbon asked in a playful voice.

She was expecting him to come up with some sort of diversion, before she got an honest answer. Instead she received the complete opposite. The truth. Painful as it was, and rare as it came with Patrick Jane.

"I came to tell you good-bye." Jane let the words roll of his tongue like clouds rolling through the sky.

Lisbon looked utterly confused as she tried to understand what he was saying.

"What do you mean? Good-bye?" Lisbon let out a small laugh and waited for him to reveal his impish joke.

"I'm leaving. And it's not a joke, if that's what you were thinking." Jane didn't blink as he spoke his words, hoping that the uninterrupted gaze would show her how serious he was.

The smile slowly faded from her face, and lines of fear replaced the ones that brightly lit her face moments before. "Why?" she murmured softly, more to herself than to him.

"I-I-", Jane's words seemed to fall short. He struggled to place the words carefully, as if he were trying to use words that might not seem to hurt as much. But nothing seemed right, it all hurt the same in the end.

He had to be honest with himself and her. That's one thing he always seemed to be good at. Honestly. He could at least give her that.

_**I see you leanin', you're bound to fall  
I don't want to be that mistake  
I'm just a dreamer, nothing more  
You should know it before it gets too late**_

"I'm saving you from me." Jane looked out to the ocean where Lisbon's eyes were now fixated on.

"I don't need saving."

Her knees were trembling and she wasn't sure if she could stand much longer. She was losing him sooner than she expected. He could see her falling a part before him, and there was nothing he could do to prevent it. It was better to do it now than later. Things had to be kept under control, and leaving was the only way to prevent a complete catastrophe.

"I'm no good for you, Lisbon. You should know that."

'_**Cause goodbyes are like a roulette wheel  
You never know where they're gonna land  
First you're spinning, then you're standing still  
Left holding a losin' hand  
But one day you're gonna find someone  
Right away, you'll know it's true  
That all of your seeking's done  
It was just a part of the passing through  
Right there in that moment  
You'll finally understand  
That I was better as a memory than as your man  
Better as a memory than as your man**_

She couldn't argue with him. Deep in her heart, she knew he was right, though she wasn't going to admit it. She needed to find some sort of stable ground before she tried to fight with him. Her head was spinning, and she was trying to find some strength before she fell. She knew he wouldn't be there to catch her.

"It's OK to be mad." Jane said softly. "I should have stopped this before it began."

"It never really started." Lisbon said swiftly.

She brought her eyes back to his, showing him how cold she could get. She had caught him off guard. He hadn't expected her to take this so hostilely, maybe a little aggressive, but not to this extent.

Jane broke their gaze. She needed time. Eventually she would understand why he was doing this. What he was saving her from. There was no happiness down the road, only pain and destructiveness. There was someone out there for her who will make her happy. He won't hurt her and he won't destroy himself in front of her. He'll be open and honest. And he'll make her feel like she is the only one for him, the only one that fills his thoughts. Something he couldn't do for her.

He was better as a memory, than as her man.

* * *

**RnR, if you want. **

**- Kai **


	28. Come A Little Closer

**A/N: Okay, so everyone around me in my life right now is pregnant. LOL. One of my co-workers is on bed rest so I've had to work extra hours which = no time to do FF. :( But one of my friends is due tomorrow and another just announced her pregnancy over the weekend so: YAY! Sorry I had to share happy news. Anyways here's the next chapter, and here's to hoping things slow down a bit over here. I won't be around this weekend so I'll try and post one before then. Maybe Thursday. :) **

**Thanks to JelloFanatic123, mwalter1, PhoenixWytch, 7, shopping-luva91, yasminbanu786, and Jadestar1981 for their reviews. They are awesome, and I look forward to reading them every chapter! :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the show or the song. **

**

* * *

**

**Song: Come A Little Closer **

**Artist: Dierks Bentely**

* * *

_**Come a little closer baby  
I feel like layin' you down  
On a bed of sweet surrender  
Where we can work it all out  
There ain't nothin' that love can't fix  
Girl it's right here at our finger tips  
So come a little closer baby  
I feel like layin' you down**_

"You come any closer to me and you're going to be laying down on the couch with a bag of peas on your face."

Jane stopped dead in his tracks. He was cornering Lisbon in her office. He had shut the door and the blinds. He was trying to ask for forgiveness, he wanted her to believe him. He was truly sorry for his behavior. He didn't know what had come over him.

"Lisbon." Jane said in a deep blatant tone. .

"You can't pity your way out of this one. You did that on purpose."

"I did not." Jane said as he looked at her with shock in his eyes. "I don't know what came over me, to be honest. I shouldn't have done that."

"I trusted you. I thought that if I gave you a little more leeway you would be a little more honest with me. Instead you keep hiding information, important information, from me and it gets you in trouble. It gets me in trouble. I feel stupid for believing I could ever trust you."

"You're not stupid." Jane cocked his head to the side as he looked down into her eyes. "Come on, Lisbon."

"What?" Lisbon said with a pout.

"I can make this up to you." Jane said with a cocky smile.

"Really? How?" Lisbon said with little enthusiasm.

Jane held his hand out to her as she looked at it with distaste. "No. I'm mad."

"Of course you are." Jane shrugged his shoulders slightly and kept his hand out to her.

He was going to stand there all day trying to figure out a way to make it up to her. Fixing things was one of his specialties, and this time he had something extra special planned for her. He just needed to get her to trust him enough to come with him. To stay with him.

"Come on." Jane nodded his head towards the door as he stood in between her and the door frame.

Lisbon reluctantly grabbed his hand and rolled her eyes. He smiled as he she gave in, but did not celebrate it out loud, in fear of her changing her mind at the sight of his ego expanding. Instead he just wrapped his hand around hers and guided her out the door.

_**Come a little closer baby  
I feel like lettin' go  
Of everything that stands between us  
And the love we used to know  
I wanna touch you like a cleansing rain  
And let it wash all the hurt away  
So come a little closer baby  
I feel like lettin' go**_

Jane pulled into an empty parking lot, 15 minutes from work, and in the middle of nowhere. Why there was a parking lot in the middle of nowhere, Lisbon didn't care. What she did want to know was, why they were there in the first place.

"A parking lot?" Lisbon asked, sitting in the car.

Jane just smiled as he got out of the car and closed his door. Lisbon followed him out and closed her door and then looked over to him from over the car. "This is how you make it up to me? You take me to a vacant parking lot in the middle of nowhere?"

"Just wait." Jane said with confidence as he stared out into the open parking lot, in the opposite direction of Lisbon.

"For what? A rainbow?" Lisbon asked as she folded her hands across her chest.

"Do you want one?" Jane asked as he turned in her direction.

"Frogs, ponies and rainbows don't make things better, Jane." Lisbon said with little enthusiasm.

Jane shrugged his shoulders slightly. "Maybe not."

Lisbon looked up into the sky and saw the darkness that was approaching. She reached down to the handle of the door and pulled on it. The door didn't budge. Lisbon's eyes widened in the horror of what was happening.

"Jane." Lisbon said slowly but sternly.

Jane turned to meet her gaze and she wasted no time. "Where's the keys?"

Jane reached inside his pockets of his jacket but nothing came out. He tried his pants, but no luck. Jane then pulled at the handle of his side of the car, but to no avail. The doors were locked.

"Please, don't tell me that you locked the keys in the car."

"OK, I won't." Jane said with a sigh.

Lisbon looked inside the car and saw the keys sitting in the ignition. She stepped back from the car and pulled out her phone. She dialed a few numbers as Jane looked on patiently with his hands in his pockets. Lisbon pulled the phone away from her ear and looked at the screen of the phone.

"No service?" Lisbon rolled her eyes and then looked over to Jane. "Let me have your phone."

"If your phone doesn't have service then mine won't. We have the same phone, same service." Jane said as he drew one of his hands out of his pocket to explain.

Lisbon made her way over to him slowly as he stood there waiting for her. His face was full of pride and happiness as hers was the complete opposite. The heat could be seen fuming from her face and it was no time for games or jokes. Or was it?

"Jane I'm going to ask you once as your boss to hand me your phone."

"I can't." Jane slowly pointed his finger shyly in the direction of the car. He gave a little smirk, trying not to laugh out loud. He was enjoying this, as she was slowly losing her mind. "Oh, come on Lisbon. Enjoy the moment. We are out in the middle of nowhere. No one can bother us. You can do whatever you want. Say whatever you want. No one will know and I won't tell."

"Fine. I choose to shoot you."

"Lisbon." Jane cocked his head to the side. Just as he did a small droplet of rain landed on his nose. Jane smiled up at the sky and put his hands out in front of him to feel for more rain.

"You're like a child." Lisbon said, but with a little less hostility.

"Is that ease I hear coming from your voice? Letting go a little bit are we?"

"No." Lisbon said in her non-convincing voice as she repositioned her body. "We're about be stuck in a rainstorm and you're not the least bit concerned."

"It's nature. Take it in."

And just as his final word was spoken the rain started to pour down on top of them. Lisbon held her hands above her head trying to block the rain from falling on her, as Jane watched on with laughter. He grabbed her arms and brought himself closer to her, closing the inches between them but not moving her arms from above her head.

"Let it go, Lisbon. Just let go."

Lisbon lowered her hands down in front of her and let the rain fall on to her. Soaking her within seconds. They were both soaking wet, from their hair to their feet, but yet smiles were spread across their faces. There was no doubt in his mind that she was beautiful, wet or dry. But seeing her in this different light, letting go and just being, was something that made her even more attractive.

"This is ridiculous, Jane." Lisbon couldn't help but laugh.

Jane spun around once with his arms out like an airplane's wings, as he tried to catch rain with his mouth. When he was facing Lisbon again he stopped, and looked her right in the eye. "Your turn."

Lisbon was caught off guard. And she looked at him suspiciously. "What?"

"Spin. Didn't you do that as a kid? Don't you remember the feeling? You forget about everything." For him, when he spun around in the rain, he forgot about all the hurt in his life as the rain cleansed him and brought him back to his child hood, and his innocence was reborn for just a moment. He wanted her to feel that. "Just try it."

Lisbon reluctantly put her arms in the air and spun around once with her eyes tightly shut. When she made the complete full circle she opened her eyes, only to find that she was much closer to Jane than she expected.

_**If there's still a chance than take my hand  
And we'll steal away  
Off into the night  
Until we make things right  
The sun's gonna rise, on a better day**_

Jane took her hand in his and pulled even closer to him, so that their faces were just inches apart. He wanted to take her away into the night and do anything and everything he could to make things better. But he knew in time that things would be OK, even if it wasn't today, there would be tomorrow. She could never stay mad at him for long anyways, and he knew that. He took advantage of that. But each and every time she did get mad, he was finding it harder and harder to just let her stay mad. He didn't like the feeling of upsetting her.

Maybe this moment was more than just her forgiving him. It was becoming about him also, and how he was starting to realize how his behavior was affecting not only her but him as well. He was changing.

_**Come a little closer baby I feel like strippin' it down  
Back to the basics of you and me and what makes the world go round  
Every inch of you against my skin  
I wanna be stronger than we've ever been  
So come a little closer baby  
I feel like strippin' it down**_

Jane turned his body towards the car, taking Lisbon with him, and he walked towards the car until her body was up against the car. He was swept up in the moment, wanting to feel her against him. He was going to blame the rain. If the rain hadn't made her look so damn sexy this never would have happened. He wouldn't be cornering her against his car. He wouldn't be inches from her face. And he surely wouldn't be putting his lips on hers. All he could think about as he moved his lips against hers was tearing her out of the clothes she was wearing.

Just as his mind started to wander off into naughty thoughts, he felt her pull away slightly. As he pulled his lips off of hers, he saw a shiny object being held up in the air by her small hand. His eyes locked on the object and a childish smile spread across his face as he looked back to her. When her hands went inside his pocket to retrieve his extra key, he didn't know. She played him for a fool, or did she?

There was only one way to find out.

_**Come a little closer baby  
Just a little bit closer baby  
Come a little closer baby  
I feel like layin' you down**_

Jane knelt his head down to hers and got closer to her face. She was expressionless, and he wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. He brought his mouth to hers, and was utterly surprised when she responded to him by opening up her mouth and allowing his tongue in. They were getting closer with each kiss, and it was only a matter of time before he would have her laying down in the back seat of his car.

* * *

**RnR, if you wish. **

**- Kai **


	29. Lost

**A/N: I cannot believe how long it's been since I've updated. I am extremely sorry for the wait, but the good news is....one of my friends had her baby last Thursday and I went and held him at the hospital and he's so cute. Anyways, my whole weekend was jammed packed and work has not let me seen much of my CPU. LOL. However, things are settling down, (I just found out TWO more friends of mine are pregnant!), and I have more time on my hands. However this song here gave me a run for my money, and I'm still not that happy with the outcome, so bare with me. LOL. **

**Quick thank you to the following people for their reviews: kathiann, 7, JelloFanatic123, mwalter1, DiviniaSerit, Americanchick, PhoenixWytch, yasminbanu786, JocelynMcC, FallIntoAHellCalledLove, Jadestar1981, and shopping-luva91. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the show or the song. **

**

* * *

**

**Song: Lost **

**Artist(s): Faith Hill **

* * *

_**Is it obvious to you  
When you walk into a room  
Your face is all I see  
And my heart races so fast  
I never knew a rush to feel like that  
Everytime you're touching me**_

_**I never did believe in anything  
I couldn't hold between my fingers  
But the way you make me feel  
It's just so real the way it lingers**_

The crime scene.

That's what she should be focusing on. However, she couldn't seem to take her eyes off of Patrick Jane. He stood in the corner of the room, looking at a mantel of pictures. What was going on in that head of his, she didn't know. All she did know was that he was all she could think about in the past few weeks. He took up her dreams and he consumed her through out the day. When he walked into a room and she saw his face, her heart would start to race, her thoughts went to places she didn't think possible.

She was a realist. Not a dreamer. What he was doing to her was inconceivable to her. She couldn't wrap her fingers around it, and that's what scared her the most. The way he made her feel, just felt so good, even if she couldn't understand it.

The touch of his hand on her arm brought her back to the current time and place.

"Lisbon?" Jane was looking into her eyes with concern. "You OK?"

Lisbon nodded her head with confidence as if nothing was bothering her. "Yeah."

Jane tilted his head to the side and bent his head down a bit so he could catch her gaze that was trailing off to the side. "Are you sure? You seemed to be out of place just now."

"I'm fine." Lisbon shook her head. "Let's tell CSU we are done here. You ready?"

Jane nodded his head slowly. She was completely obvious, and they both knew it. She could try and hide it all she wanted, but when it came down to it, she was bad at lying, and he was too good at finding out the truth. It was a hopeless situation.

_**I get lost inside your stare  
Lost when you're not there  
And everything I have  
Doesn't mean a thing if it's without you  
If it's a dream  
Don't wake me up  
I'll scream if this isn't love  
If bein' lost means never knowin' how it feels without you  
I wanna stay lost forever  
I wanna stay lost forever.. with you**_

She was back at the CBI headquarters, safely tucked away in her office. She had told her agents that she didn't want to be bothered, unless there was a break in the case. She needed time and space away from that man. The man who called himself a friend, the man who said he'd always be there for her, the man she wanted so badly.

Being around him for too long made her mind go insane. And even when he wasn't around she was going crazy. She had hopelessly fallen for him. She did everything and anything to try and prevent that from happening, but there was not stopping it. It was fate. At least that's what she had decided.

At times, she felt she was just dreaming that she had finally found a man who was loyal, trustworthy, and would love her back as much as she loved him. And if she was dreaming she didn't want to come back to reality.

_**No this feelin' doesn't end  
It's with me everywhere I am  
Hope it never goes away  
It's like defying gravity  
I'm losing all control in bein' free  
And I always wanna stay**_

_**I never thought that I'd let go long enough  
To fall for someone deeply  
Who had the power to erase my fears  
And find me so completely  
**_

She snuck out of the office early in the evening and successfully dodged Jane. There was no movement on the case and she was going home, in hopes to get some much needed rest. It didn't matter where she went he followed her everywhere. He didn't need to be physically there, he was always finding his way into her head. Especially, when she was at home, all alone.

She didn't fight it though, she knew she didn't really want to stop thinking about him. If time allowed, she would spend every moment thinking about him. Just thinking about him made her feel like she was floating away, and being such a grounded person, it was a feeling she loved. A feeling she was getting used to.

She once feared of losing control of anything in her life. She once feared to love someone too much. But those fears along with any others, disappeared when she fell in love with him. She was filled completely with love, that there was no room for anything else.

_**I get lost inside your stare  
Lost when you're not there  
And everything I have  
Doesn't mean a thing if it's without you  
If it's a dream  
Don't wake me up  
I'll scream if this isn't love  
If bein' lost means never knowin' how it feels without you  
I wanna stay lost**_

The music was on as she washed the dishes from her dinner. She had finally found a moment to reflect on the case, when a knock at the door brought a halt to her thoughts. She dried her hands and walked over to the door and opened it. For the first time that day, a smile spread across her face as she laid eyes on Jane.

Standing there with his hands in his pocket, he had his innocent look on, bringing her to the fact that he did something wrong. He looked so sweet with his childlike grin and she knew whatever he did wrong, she probably wouldn't even get mad.

"I lost my key." Jane said shyly.

Lisbon rolled her eyes and turned around and walked back into the kitchen as Jane shut the door to the house. She placed the towel she had been holding on the counter and turned around to meet Jane who had made his way into the kitchen.

"You lost your key?" Lisbon said with a quizzical face.

"Yeah." Jane nodded his head as he took a couple steps closer to Lisbon, making her uneasy. "You're not mad, are you? I'll pay for the new one, promise." He held up his hand with his fingers in the pose of the scouts honor.

Lisbon gave him a questionable look, before putting her hand to his chest to stop him from coming any closer to her body. She wanted him closer, they both wanted to be closer.

"Come on, Lisbon." Jane bent his knees so his face was level with hers. "We're not in the office. We're home. You can put down your barrier."

"I don't have a barrier. You lost your key. There are consequences for that." Lisbon turned around to the sink and turned the water on and began doing the dishes, with a smile on her face. Jane stood at the counter looking around quietly, waiting for Lisbon to say something else.

Lisbon continued to do the dishes, silently enjoying the pain she was causing him. Suddenly, she felt his arms around her waist and his face nuzzled into her neck, causing her to drop the plate that she was holding.

"Jane!" Lisbon yelled out at the sudden touch of him.

"Would you please stop calling me by my last name outside of work?" He moved a piece of her hair that was in his way and pushed it back so he could kiss her neck softly. The feel of his lips against her skin was making her lose control of her posture. Her legs started to go limp as she tilted her head to the left so that he could have full access to her neck.

"Please, stop." Lisbon whimpered softly.

"Only if you really want me too." Jane replied as he brought one of his hands up to her shoulder and pushed the strap to her cami down while placing small kisses from her shoulder all the way up to her neckline. He stopped at her jaw and turned her face to his.

"I don't." Lisbon murmured.

Jane brought his lips to hers and his hand found the side of her face and he stroked her cheek as they let go of everything but each other. Lisbon brought her hand up to his hair and ran her fingers through his curls. She had been thinking about this all day, and she was finally able to breath without holding anything back. She wasn't dreaming, this was real.

_**Don't tell me where we're goin'  
I don't wanna know  
I like the mystery  
I can't believe we've come this far  
So far away from where we started off  
You found me when I wasn't lookin'  
You found me**_

Before she knew it she found herself being swept up into Jane's arms and being carried. Where he was taking her she didn't know. She didn't care to know. As long as he was going with her, it really didn't matter the destination. She kept her lips on his, her eyes closed reveling in these precious moments that they shared. She had come so far in her life to where she is now, and looking back it felt surreal to her. He found her when she had least expected it. She had been lost inside a frenzy of emotions and he pulled her out.

_**And now I'm lost inside your stare  
Lost when you're not there  
And everything I have  
Doesn't mean a thing if it's without you  
Without you..  
If it's a dream  
Don't wake me up  
I'll scream if this isn't love  
If bein' lost means never knowin' how it feels without you  
If bein' lost means that I'm never gonna be without you  
I wanna stay lost forever  
With you**_

He stroked her hair as they lay in bed after they made love. The warmth of his body against her skin, was a reminder that this wasn't a dream, and when she woke up in the morning he would still be there. She was never going to know the feeling of living without him ever again.

"Where were you today?" Jane asked breaking the silence.

"What do you mean?" Lisbon looked up at him.

"You were hiding in your office. You barely looked at me all day. And you snuck out of the office without saying goodbye."

"I-I-", she tried to form words but she had no way of getting around it.

Jane smiled at let out a little laugh. "I'm distracting you, aren't I?"

"Don't get cocky." Lisbon let a smile brush across her face. "It's just the woes of being a newlywed. It'll pass."

"Really?" Jane said with surprise.

"OK, maybe not, but eventually I'll have more control over my emotions."

She leaned up and planted a soft kiss on his lips and he responded by pulling her up, closer, to him. She let her hand find the side of his face, and she broke the kiss and placed her fingers over his lips. She traced his lips before bringing her hand down to his chest.

"I'm lost in you, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

* * *

**RnR, if you please.**

**- Kai**


	30. All For Believing

**A/N: Sorry, again for the late update. Work's been crazy. But the good news is, this week is the start of school for my work and that means a regular schedule and less hours. I've been working 40+ hours but now I'll be down to my regular 35. Anyways enough about my lovely job. Here's the next chapter, nothing too crazy or special. But I love the song. Enjoy! **

**I completely forgot to do this: Thanks to all who reviewed last chapter, shopping-luva91, Divinia Serit, mwalter1, 7, lil smiles, JocelynMcC, yasminbanu786, Americanchick, Jisbon-Fan, JelloFanatic123, MISSBODEE, Jadestar1981, and PhoenixWytch.  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything. The show or the song. **

**

* * *

**

**Song: All For Believing **

**Artist: Missy Higgins**

* * *

_**Pull back the shield between us**_

_**And I'll kiss you**_

_**Drop your defenses**_

_**And come into my arms**_

_**I'm all for believing**_

_**I'm all for believing**_

_**I'm all for believing**_

_**If you can reveal**_

_**Your true colors within**_

Silly.

It was all silly. How could she stand there and observe him, and think she could actually figure out anything that went on inside his overactive brain? He was like an onion, she had concluded. Too many layers, and the more you sat there and peeled them apart the more likely you were to start crying. Too many layers, too many problems, and not enough tears.

She too, had many layers, but that was something she kept hidden. Very well, in fact, so that she didn't have to explain herself. He thought he had her all figured out, and she let him have that sense of satisfaction. In the end they both hid their true selves behind a shield of steel. His might be thicker than hers, but she swore at times, she saw a hole in his armor.

There were times Lisbon felt the loneliness of sheltering herself from the world, and those were the times were she found herself trying to connect with Jane. She reached out to him, but he would reject her, with much regret he would not show.

She believed one day that one of them would be able to reach out and the other would accept.

_**I know you blanket your mind**_

_**So much that I am blind**_

_**But I see you painted your soul**_

_**Into your guard**_

_**I'm all for believing**_

_**I'm all for believing**_

_**I need to know just how you feel**_

_**To comfort you**_

_**I need to find the key to let me in**_

_**Into your heart**_

_**To find your soul**_

He was lying on the couch. Eyes shut tightly, his body in a state of relaxation and peace. The outside always displayed a state of understanding and happiness, but deep with in his soul she knew he was broken. He made it seem quite the opposite so that no one could see what he really was; a shattered man. Pieces of him were lost in the world they lived in or buried with his wife and child. She believed they could be recovered, believed that he could be fixed. He was a jigsaw puzzle with the pieces not quite fitting like they once did.

Finding a way to mend the man was impossible. She tried many times in many ways, but she could never quite figure out how he felt. The comfort is what she longed for, and what she longed to give him. Finding a shred of hope in someone might just change his shaded ways, and she was ready to give him that.

_**Pull back the shield between us**_

_**And I'll kiss you**_

_**Drop your defenses and come into my arms**_

_**I'm all for believing**_

_**If you can reveal**_

_**Your true colors within**_

_**Say you will be there for me to hold**_

_**If faith grows old**_

_**And life turns cold**_

_**And faith grows old**_

_**And life turns cold**_

The team checked out early after they had their pizza. They closed the case in five days and rewarded themselves by going out to have pizza, for once, instead of bringing it to the bullpen. They talked about the case, the recent baseball playoff shocker, and the homecoming of Cho's brother from Iraq. None of them asked Jane or Lisbon about anything in their lives. They knew they would quickly shut down or change the subject. Instead they all just stuck to topics that they knew everyone was comfortable with.

Cho left first, to go home and spend time with his brother, followed by Rigsby and Van Pelt, who would probably head back to his house together. Jane and Lisbon sat at their seats drinking their beers in silence. He stole a glance at her every so often, making her more uncomfortable. She wished he would just talk, say what he needed to say. She was willing to drop her guard if he was willing to do the same. Even if it was for one night only.

She could hold him. She could be there for him. He could be there for her. He could hold her. Before her faith was gone, before it was too late.

_**So if you're cold I will stay**_

_**Maybe fate will guide the way**_

_**I believe in what I see**_

_**And baby we were meant to be**_

_**Just believe**_

_**Just believe**_

_**Just believe**_

_**Trust in me**_

She tore her eyes off of his gaze and turned her head down, she couldn't do this. The pain he would cause her and the pain she would cause him was flashing before her. The reality of what really was always brought her guard back up. She reached down to get her money and threw it on the table.

Before she could get up from the table she felt the warmth of his hand on her own. Shocked with the amount of contact he was allowing, she quickly looked to his face, to try and figure out his sudden behavior. She found his eyes brighter than usual, his face a little lighter, and his hand felt relaxed against her own. Maybe he was just trying to get inside her head.

"Stay." He said quietly but with conviction.

Lisbon wasn't sure if she should grant his request or to turn around and leave. He was reaching out to her for once and who was she to say no? Maybe if she gave up control of her fate and let him guide the way, they would be able to help each other. She believed, more than anyone, that it was worth a try.

* * *

**RnR, if you like. **

**- Kai **


	31. Right Here Waiting

**A/N: Here's the next chapter. I found these one fairly easy to write, and you can tell because it's so longer than all the other chapters. LOL. I hope you guys enjoy this one, as I enjoyed it too. I also through in the team for this one and some RVP. ;) **

**Thanks to the following for reviewing last chapter, mwalter1, PhoenixWytch, Jadestar1981, 7, Divinia Serit, shopping-luva91, and JocelynMcC. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the song or the show. :) **

**

* * *

**

**Song: Right Here Waiting **

**Artist(s): Richard Marx **

* * *

_**Oceans apart day after day  
And I slowly go insane  
I hear your voice on the line  
But it doesn't stop the pain  
If I see you next to never  
How can we say forever**_

"Jane!" A voice yelled across the bull pen.

Jane ignored the sound of his name and continued trying to find a comfortable position on the couch. It had only been 38 hours since she left but he was already finding himself having a hard time doing even the smallest of things. For instance, he couldn't even rest, his mind went straight to her. He could only think of the terrible things that could happen to her while she was on this undercover mission. He hadn't wanted her to go, but since the case was under their jurisdiction someone had to go, and since Van Pelt and Rigsby were expecting their first child in the upcoming weeks, Minelli had them stay put. Cho was getting over a bought with the flu, which left only Lisbon.

He had dropped her off at the airport and their good-byes was more or less a simple one. She told him she'd see him in a few days and asked him to try and stay out of trouble while she was gone. He was finding that harder and harder to do, especially as the hours dragged on and they still hadn't heard from her. She promised to call once she landed, and the phone call that never came was starting to drive him insane.

"Jane!" At the second shout of his name he popped up from the couch, knowing he wouldn't be able to get any rest anyways.

"What?" Jane looked tired and sounded it too.

"You've been tossing and turning on that couch for two hours. It's not doing you any good." Van Pelt said as she turned her chair towards him and she let her hands rest on her burgeoning belly.

Rigsby walked over to Van Pelt's desk and leaned up against it. "You want some tea? I can make you some tea?"

"Thanks, Rigsby. I'll pass though."

"Dude, you're a mess. You haven't slept in how many days?" Cho spoke up from his desk.

"38 hours." Van Pelt responded quickly as they all turned to look at her with puzzlement. "What? That's how long Lisbon's been gone, right?"

Rigsby lets out a weak smile. "Pregnancy makes you say everything you're thinking. Right, sweetie?" Rigsby turned to her hoping she'd nod and agree with him.

"I'm just speaking the truth. I think this pregnancy just makes me impervious." Van Pelt got up and started walking to the kitchen. "Anybody want anything to eat?"

"No." All three boys responded in unison as Van Pelt disappeared around the corner.

"Not hungry?" Cho said with disbelief to Rigsby.

"She eats enough for both of us and the baby."

Rigsby made his way back over to his desk as Jane sat on the couch. Jane let his elbows rest on his knees, and folded his hands in front of him. Waiting. Nothing was as agonizing as waiting for a phone call. No one knew why he was so impatient. No one knew he couldn't sleep until he heard her voice on the other side of the line. He needed to know she was OK. He needed to know before the pain became too unbearable. This case was dangerous, they all knew that. But he was the only one worried beyond belief. He was the only one who felt so much for her. More than a partner or friend should.

What if she didn't make it to her destination? What if the car that was supposed to pick her up was in fact the people they were trying to catch? What if the place she was staying at was raided and now she was being held prisoner for ransom? What if she wasn't OK? Thoughts raced through his head, causing him to feel dizzy. He couldn't think of not seeing her again.

"Damn it." Jane stood up and walked out of the bullpen and out of the CBI building, leaving Cho and Rigsby in complete bewilderment.

_**Wherever you go  
Whatever you do  
I will be right here waiting for you  
Whatever it takes  
Or how my heart breaks  
I will be right here waiting for you**_

As the fresh air swirled around him, he could feel his head to slowly stop spinning. He started to collect his thoughts and reorganize everything he had been thinking about. Everything he was worried about. He hadn't thought much about it before. He just thought he cared about this woman because she was always there for him and she was the one person he could always count on. But these last couple days were bringing a whole new side of him out. So many feelings he didn't know were there.

He would wait as long as it took for her to call. For however long it took for someone to call.

_**I took for granted, all the times  
That I though would last somehow  
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears  
But I can't get near you now  
Can't you see it baby  
You've got me goin' crazy**_

Three more days went by with no word on Lisbon. The team sat in the bullpen working on all the leads they had on their current case, hoping and praying, they could find a leak. It just wasn't the same with out Lisbon there to lead them. Jane tried his best to not show his concern and keep up to his regular tricks, but it was harder than he thought.

Lisbon was the rock of this team, the person who kept them all in line. He never knew how important she was until she was gone. He vowed that whenever she came back he would never take any moment he had with her for granted again.

It was finally night time and Jane was sprawled across the couch looking up at the ceiling, as Cho and Rigsby wrapped things up in the office. Van Pelt sat at her desk, arms across her chest and hands resting on her belly, with her eyes shut.

Cho, followed by Rigsby walked up to Jane.

"We're going out to get a few drinks, want to come?" Cho asked in a slightly peppy tone.

Jane just continued to stare at the ceiling. Cho gave Rigsby a look and a small nudge that told Rigsby to help him out and try to get Jane out of the office. Or at least off the damn couch.

"It's one of the last times I'll be able to go out. The little rascal will be here before we know it and I'll be all but a prisoner in my own home. You should come." Rigsby nodded.

"I heard that." Van Pelt spoke up from behind them, not opening her eyes.

"Thanks guys, but I think I'll just stay here and try and catch some sleep."

"Sleep? You won't sleep. You haven't slept in days, Jane." Cho said in his usual mono tone voice.

"He feels closest to Lisbon here. If he goes home he'll go insane." Van Pelt said in soft tired voice.

Rigsby and Cho turned to look at Van Pelt who was now looking right at them.

"Does the pregnancy also give you mentalist capabilities, sweetheart?" Rigsby said with a smile.

"No, honey. Haven't you been paying attention? Jane hasn't slept since Lisbon left. His observations skills have been a little hazy, since Lisbon has been gone. And when was the last time you saw him smile?"

The boys looked back at Jane who was looking at Van Pelt, then he slowly brought his eyes back up to the ceiling.

"Is that true?" Cho asked quietly but expressionless.

Before Jane could answer his question the phone rang and Van Pelt quickly picked up the receiver. "Agent Van Pelt, CBI."

Everyone's eyes were locked on Van Pelt as she answered questions, with just yes and no's, until she hung up the phone. Van Pelt quickly stood up and walked down the hall, with all three boys watching.

"Who was that?" Rigsby called after her.

"An agent."

"Where are you going?" Cho asked.

Van Pelt stopped at Lisbon's office, opened the door, turned on the lights and headed straight to her desk. She turned on the computer as the boys arrived in the room all at once. Rigsby and Cho walked over to stand behind her, while Jane just looked around Lisbon's office slowly. He missed coming in here, whether it was to bother her or because he was being yelled at by her.

"What did this agent want?" Rigsby asked nervously.

"He told me to go to the nearest computer with web camera capabilities. Lisbon and Minelli are the only ones with that capability." Van Pelt explained as she started typing.

"What do you need the camera for?"

Van Pelt waited a moment while she finished typing before answering. "For this." Van Pelt reached over to turn on the volume to the computer.

Rigsby and Cho's eyes widened as they saw what was across the computer screen.

"Lisbon!" Rigsby exclaimed proudly.

Jane froze where he was standing and looked over to the team who were huddled around the computer.

"Hey guys." Lisbon said through the computer.

"Can you see and hear us?" Van Pelt asked.

"Yes. But I don't have long." Lisbon said quickly.

"We're just so glad to hear from you. We were starting to get concerned." Van Pelt revealed.

"Sorry about that. As soon as I got here, we went undercover, they took my phone and I wasn't allowed to contact anyone. We caught the suspect today, and hopefully he'll talk to the agents here and give up his accomplice. I have a flight back tomorrow."

"That's good to hear. We're glad you're okay, boss." Cho said with a smile.

"Thanks, Cho."

"I'm guessing the little one still hasn't made an appearance, Van Pelt."

"No, not yet. Soon hopefully, I don't know how much more I can eat. I'm not eating for two anymore."

Lisbon let out a laugh which brought smiles to the whole team. Jane stood in the middle of the room listening to her laugh, as he let a tear fall down from his eye. It was so good to hear her laugh. He quickly turned away and wiped the tear away before the team noticed.

"There's someone else who wants to talk to you."

Van Pelt looked over to Jane who was just turning around and met her gaze. She nodded to Jane to let him know it was all right to come over. Rigsby helped Van Pelt to stand up and they walked around the desk to the doorway. Jane made his way slowly over to the computer and looked down at the screen. His face, that had been so tense and lost for the past few days, filled with happiness.

Van Pelt stopped at the door to take a final look. Satisfied, she turned and shooed the boys out and closed the doors, to allow Jane some alone time with Lisbon.

"Jane." Lisbon smiled as she laid eyes on him through her computer.

Jane said nothing to her, as he slowly took a seat in her chair. He quietly examined her, making sure she wasn't harmed. He looked into her eyes, just as he would if she was standing right in front of him.

"Are you ok?" Lisbon asked with concern.

"Fine." Jane said with a smile.

"Have you been behaving? Please tell me there won't be any angry politicians waiting for me when I get back."

Jane's smiled brightened and he let out a small chuckle. "No. I can't say that there will be. To be honest, I haven't really been focused enough to misbehave."

Lisbon's curious eyebrows sprung up at his words. He could tell she was confused as to why he would be off his game. With her gone, he should be at the top of it.

"Why's that?" Lisbon said hesitantly.

"You told me you'd call when you got to your destination. And then we didn't hear from you for days."

"Patrick Jane, have you been worrying about little ole me?" Lisbon said, in a mocking tone.

"No. Maybe." Patrick looked down. Even though he couldn't touch her, he could try and tell her how he felt. "You had me going crazy."

Lisbon was speechless. She hadn't expected Jane to react this way. She didn't know what to say, what to do. Jane looked back at the computer screen and let her see the concern he still had for her.

"Jane." Lisbon wasn't sure what to say. "I'll see you tomorrow."

_**Wherever you go  
Whatever you do  
I will be right here waiting for you  
Whatever it takes  
Or how my heart breaks  
I will be right here waiting for you**_

"I'll be waiting." Jane said.

Lisbon disconnected her end of the camera and then she was gone. She would be back tomorrow, and that's all he cared about. He didn't care where she went or what she did over there. He only cared that she was safe and unharmed, and that she was coming home.

Right when his heart was starting to mend from one tragedy, it almost started falling apart all over again, due to something he didn't know he felt. He was going to do whatever it took to show her what she meant to him.

_**I wonder how we can survive  
This romance  
But in the end if I'm with you  
I'll take the chance**_

_**Can't you see it baby  
You've got me goin' crazy**_

He wasn't sure how they were going to be able to have a relationship. He wasn't even sure if she felt the same way about him. They had obstacles, for sure, but if in the end he was with her, all the hurdles of life would be well worth the jumps. He was ready to start a life with her.

_**Wherever you go  
Whatever you do  
I will be right here waiting for you  
Whatever it takes  
Or how my heart breaks  
I will be right here waiting for you**_

The morning couldn't come fast enough for Jane. He slept at the CBI unit, went home and changed, and went straight to the airport. He was two hours early, but it allowed him time to prepare, what he wanted to say to her when he finally saw her. After finally convincing Minelli to give him her flight information, he figured there was no going back and he might as well just tell her all of it as soon as he could.

He promised him self he would never take her for granted ever again, and that meant he had to tell her how he felt. Even if he hadn't sorted out all the details himself yet.

He paced back and forth in the Delta area of arrival. Her plane had landed 20 minutes ago, he had checked twice to make sure that it was her said flight. When the first set of passengers made their way down the escalator, Jane looked up and looked around for Lisbon. When he couldn't find her after the last batch of passengers got of the escalator, his eyes started looking through the passengers that were now on the same floor as him.

"Jane?" An all too familiar voice sounded behind him.

Jane turned around to meet a smiling Lisbon. Jane approached her slowly, trying not to look like he was just concerned.

"What are you doing here?" Lisbon said with a curious tone.

"I convinced Minelli to give me your flight information." Jane said as he shrugged his shoulders.

"Uh-huh. Why?" Lisbon asked.

"Patience isn't my specialty, Lisbon. When you were gone, I didn't know if you were hurt or safe and it wasn't pretty." Jane shook his head.

Lisbon's face loosened and she tilted her head as she listened to Jane carry on with his speech.

"I care about you, and I didn't know how much until I thought something might have happened to you. I told you last night I'd be waiting for you. And here I am. I'm waiting. For you."

Lisbon's eyes became teary as she realized what he was saying to her.

"You don't have to wait anymore."

As soon as she said those words, Jane pulled her close and locked his lips on hers. He would never forget this moment, when his heart finally stopped breaking and started to mend. Lisbon wrapped her arms around his neck as he pulled her closer to him, filling himself with her.

There would be no more waiting, for either of them.

* * *

**RnR, if you wish. **

**- Kai**


	32. Oh, Girl

**A/N: So look who's back! I have to apologize to those who have been very committed to reading this story and commenting on each chapter, for I have been missing for almost two years. For that I am deeply sorry. I hope that some of you have me on alert and are able to see that I am now back and finishing up this lovely set of songs/fics. **

**The last couple years have been very crazy, but I've finally found some balance between both my jobs, my fiance, and my family and friends. So here's the next chapter. I'm starting the next one tonight, and as long as my muse doesn't leave me I should have about two chapters up each week or so. **

**Also, sorry for the crappiness of this chapter, I'm a little rusty, but I promise/hope the next chapters will get better! :) *hugs*  
**

**I would like to thank the following people for commenting on my last chapter: mwalter1, 7, CaterinaCarmela, lets just call me, Jellofanatic123, PhoenixWytch, JocelynMcC, Jadestar1981, shopping-luva91, yasminbanu786, vadergirl2006, and FallIntoAHellCalledLove. **

**Unbeta'ed, all mistakes are my own.  
**

**Disclaimer: I Do not own The Mentalist or the song. **

* * *

**Song: Oh, Girl**

**Artist (s): Paul Young**

* * *

**Oh Girl  
I'd be in trouble if you left me now.  
'Cause I don't know where to look for love,  
I Just don't know how.**

**Oh Girl  
How I depend on you  
to give me love when I need it.  
Right on time you would always be.**

Jane watched as the General guided Lisbon to the dance floor. He continued to watch as the General put his hand on the small of Lisbon's back and took the lead. Moments earlier, he had asked her about a job opportunity in northern California. He wanted to discuss it in privacy.

To the looks of it, Lisbon seemed very intrigued by the idea of a promotion. And she deserved it. Jane, however, was not thrilled. It would mean she would be leaving the unit. Leaving Sacramento and leaving him. He didn't know if he could deal with that.

She was the only one who was there for him when he needed her. She wasn't just there to bail him out of trouble, which was a consistent part of their relationship, she always seemed to show up at the right time when he needed her emotionally too. He could talk to her. He could lean on her. He trusted her completely.

He depended on her.

**All my friends call me a fool.  
They say, "Let the woman take care of you."  
So I try to be hip and think like the crowd.  
But even the crowd can't help me now**

**Oh Girl**  
**Tell me what am I gonna do.**  
**I know I've got a guilty face.**  
**Girl, I feel so out of place**  
**Don't know where to go, who to see**

**Oh, girl  
I guess I better go.  
I can save myself a lot of useless tears.  
Girl I've gotta get away from here.**

"That's just pathetic." Cho said, breaking Jane's gaze on Lisbon and the General.

"What?" Jane asked.

"I think you're a little worried someone might leave you." Sam piped in.

"Lisbon won't leave. She closes cases here. We close cases together." Jane said matter-of-factly.

"But she could close cases in San Francisco too." Cho said without skipping a beat.

"What in the world would you do without Lisbon?" Sam asked.

"Okay, I'll admit it. Guilty. I don't want Lisbon to leave. But no one does." Jane looked at both of them waiting for them to agree.

"True." Sam said slowly.

"Desserts out, we better get over there before Rigsby does." Cho said tapping Sam on the arm.

"Good luck with Lisbon." Sam said as he and Cho stood up.

Jane waited till they were out of sight and stood up him self. This was his opportunity to stall any thoughts she had about leaving. He could easily cause trouble for her with the General, but that would just make her mad at him. He had to be honest. It was the only way for her to see.

**Oh, girl  
Pain will double if you leave me now.  
'Cause I don't know where to look for love  
and I don't, I don't know how.**

Oh, girl, why do I love you so  
Better be on my way, I can't stay  
Have you ever seen such a helpless man?

Jane walked up to Lisbon and the General with his usual confident attitude and put his hand on Lisbon's back.

"Would you mind if I cut in, General?" Jane asked with a charming smile.

"I don't see why not." he said as he stepped back, allowing Jane to take his place. "But this conversation isn't over, Agent Lisbon."

Jane waited till he was out of earshot before proceeding to take Lisbon's body in his arm. He let her take the lead.

"What's this all about?" Lisbon asked in a unsure tone.

"I thought you needed to be saved. You've been up here for quite a while."

Lisbon looked at him with questionable eyes. "I've told you before I don't need to be saved, especially by you. You cause trouble."

"Is that why you are thinking of leaving? You don't need to say it. I know I'm a handful. I know I cause you a lot of stress and heartache."

"You do not cause me heartache. I might get a heart attack from all the crap you put me through though." Lisbon smiled. "But it keeps me on my toes. And as a federal agent, I need to be all the time."

"What are you saying?" Jane asked, secretly knowing already what she was going to say.

"I'm saying that we're good together. No matter the trouble, heart attacks, and stress. In the end the bad guys are in jail, and that's what matters. Were you worried I might leave you Patrick Jane?" Lisbon asked.

Jane stopped dancing. "I was more than worried. More like scared. I don't know what would happen if you left. I'd probably be even more of a helpless man than I am now."

"Well let me ease your mind, I'm not going anywhere."

Jane took her back in his arms, "Good, because I wasn't planning on staying if you left."

Jane pulled her back into his arms and they started to dance. "I never doubted for a second that you would leave the team."

Lisbon scoffed at his cockiness. "Of course you didn't. You were scared I'd leave you. Because I'm the only one who will always get you out of trouble."

"Oh, girl." Jane sighed as he lowered his head to touch hers, knowing full well that she was right.

* * *

**Thank you so much for reading! **

**RnR, if you'd like, I'd love to hear from you! **

**- Kai**


	33. Completely

**A/N: So here's the next chapter, as promised. I'm not going to be disappearing this time. I intend on finishing this whole series, hopefully by the end of the year. :) **

**I just want to thank LadyBluePhoenix for their comment on my previous chapters and for BrokenDaisy's comment on my last chapter. It was a lovely comment and meant a lot to me. *hugs* **

**Unbeta'ed as usual. All mistakes are mine. :) **

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist or this song. **

* * *

**Song: Completely**

**Artist(s): Jennifer Day**

* * *

**I'll give my all or not at all  
There's no in-between  
I'll give my best, won't second guess  
This feelin' deep in me**

There he stood, in front of a hundred family and friends, as nervous as a man about to jump out of an airplane for the first time. He knew this wasn't his first time here in this situation, but it was the first time with her. It would also be his last.

He didn't need to look any farther, he didn't need to search any deeper, for she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. There was no going back now, he was about to give all he had to this woman he had fallen so deeply and passionately in love with. He didn't need to second guess his feelings because he knew he hadn't felt this way in a very long time.

Suddenly he caught his first glimpse of her as she stood directly across from him, fifty feet down the aisle. The woman he loved, dressed in white, head to toe, and about to walk past all their family and friends to him.

**You make me want to love you  
With every breath I'll love you, endlessly  
I'll give my heart, give my soul  
I won't hold back, I'll give you everything  
All of me, completely**

She could feel her heart start to beat faster and faster with every step she took towards him. She couldn't control how she was feeling and it was starting to overwhelm her, in a good way. She didn't want to cry, she didn't want him to see her cry. It was one of the few things she still tried to hide from him, but he was too good at reading her.

There she stood just a few feet in front of him. Her brother kissed her cheek and she turned to the man she was about to spend the rest of her life with. There in his eyes she saw something she swore she'd never seen. Pure love, pure passion, and pure happiness. His eyes were filling and that's when she knew she could let go of her feelings and just let them flow. **  
**

**You fill me up with your love  
I just overflow  
When we touch, can't get enough  
And I want you to know**

As he lifted her veil he felt an overflowing rush of affection come over him. She was beautiful, in everyway, inside and out. He took her hand in his and felt the warmth of her pour into his body. Finally he could feel the cold rushing out of his body. He wanted to touch her, all of her. But for now that would have to wait.

**You make me want to love you**  
**With every breath I'll love you, endlessly**  
**I'll give my heart, give my soul**  
**I won't hold back, I'll give you everything**  
**All of me, completely**

"When I first met you I thought you were a fearless, confident, married-to-the-job type of woman. You showed me through time that you were all of those things, and more. Caring to the victims and their families, loyal to your team, loving to your family and friends, and passionate about your job. You also showed a weakness to helping the damaged, like my self. I never thought I'd be able to love again, but you've opened my eyes to a whole new world. A world of forgiveness, love, and trust. My vows to you are simple; I give my heart and soul to you, completely."

"You said once that love could change a person, and I've loved before, but I didn't understand what you meant, until now. Loving you has changed me, for the better. I used to eat, sleep, for my job. When you came along, it wasn't just about work anymore. It was about saving your ass when you got in trouble. And you always trying to save me, even if I said I didn't want your help. You know who I am, even when I don't. Even though you can be a pain in the ass sometimes, I find some peace in it. I used to hold back my feelings, but today and every day forward I will love you, completely."

They were ready to be everything they needed to each other. For always, forever, completely.

* * *

**RnR, if you please. **

**- Kai**


	34. Let Me Be The One

**A/N: So sorry for the late update, but this story took quite a bit of work. I'm actually quite proud of it. I think it's the first really good one I've done since I've been back. :) I hope you guys enjoy! And please feel free to let me know how you feel! Any advice/feedback is appreciated. It inspires me to keep writing. ;)Thank you to BrokenDaisy for your so sweet comments on the last chapter!  
**

**Unbeta'ed, all errors are my own. :) **

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Mentalist or this song.  
**

* * *

**Song: Let Me Be The One**

**Artist(s): Blessed Union of Souls  
**

* * *

**So you're scared to show your feelings  
Baby I do understand  
Well I don't make a promise I can't keep  
And I vow to be a real good friend**

**In those big green eyes I see a glow of love  
I just hope I'm the one you're dreaming of**

Moments ago guns were being fired and people had fallen to the ground. Lights were glaring in his eyes, and all he could think of was to find Lisbon and make sure she was okay. But it wasn't like him to go running through bullets to save the woman he was closest too. He wasn't that type of hero. So he sat outside the squad car huddled into the tire until he heard Cho yell that it was all clear.

As Jane cautiously stood up, he could see smoke clearing and the color he dreaded the most in patches all across the pavement in almost every direction. What was supposed to be an easy in and out arrest, turned into an all out brawl of who had the best aim with their gun.

Jane looked around, with a hidden panic in his eyes, for Lisbon. He was too afraid to go in the war zone to try and find her, terrified that one of the bodies lying on the pavement might be hers. Rigsby came running over to Jane to make sure he was okay.

"Hey, are you alright?" Rigsby asked with almost no breath.

"Fine." Jane held up his hand and waved it in the air as if it was all no big deal.

"Good. I'm going to go check in with Van Pelt." Rigsby said as he took one big breath and turned to leave.

"Oh, Rigsby, where's Lisbon?" Jane said as if he had almost forgotten to ask.

Rigsby turned around and walked back over to Jane. "She was grazed by a bullet. Nothing serious. The paramedics are tending to her now. I don't think her brother is as lucky."

As Rigsby walked away, Jane walked towards the closest ambulance to see if Lisbon was in there. Instead he was greeted by a suspect with three bullets in his chest, giving him a small shudder up his spine. He walked quicker, passing by paramedics tending to other victims in the street. When he arrived at the next ambulance he saw Eric, Lisbon's brother. He was conscious, with blood everywhere, and his eyes staring directly at him.

"Tell Teresa, I'm sorry." Eric said softly, before the paramedics lifted his stretcher into the vehicle.

"Tell her yourself. You're going to be fine." Jane said with little empathy.

Jane turned around as the ambulance shut its doors and drove off into the night, and finally feasted his eyes upon the one he had been looking for. There she was, sitting on the back bumper of one of the last remaining emergency vehicles. She was being patched up by a paramedic, and he slowly walked toward her. He could tell she was hiding the pain, as her face tightened each time the paramedic touched her wound.

Lisbon closed her eyes and leaned her head up against the back of the ambulance. The strongest woman he knew, looking so fragile. She had been doing her best to hide her feelings about this case, but Jane saw right through it. Deep down she was in denial that her brother was a part of a drug trafficking murder, but on the outside she treated him as a suspect to the best of her ability. She was stronger than he knew, and she proved that tonight when she protected her team and him from her brother that she ended up knowing so little about.

"Hey." Jane almost whispered as he arrived at Lisbon's side.

Lisbon lifted her head and opened her eyes slowly. "Hey." Her green eyes sparkled at him showing him just a touch of relief.

"You're all set Agent." The paramedic packed his things and walked off.

Jane looked down at her wound and gently slid his finger across it.

"It's just a graze. It didn't hurt." Lisbon said as she sat up straight.

"Ah, that explains the clenching of the teeth." Jane said with a smile.

Lisbon stood as Jane took a step back. "Since I'm in so much pain, you can drive me back to the CBI."

"Work? Shouldn't you go home?" Jane asked curiously.

"I'm fine. We have a lot of stuff to close up on this case before we hand it over to the state prosecutors." Lisbon stated as she started walking off to the SUV.

"Okay, whatever you want." Jane said, knowing full well he wasn't going to win this battle. She had to distract herself away from what just took place. Burying herself in paper work is one of the best ways she knew how to hide.

**Let me be the one to love you  
Let me be the one to care  
Let me be the one to light your flame  
Let me be the one**

Lisbon hopped out of the SUV as Jane shut off the engine.

"Thanks for your help today Jane." Lisbon said without much enthusiasm.

"I didn't want to be right, Lisbon, if anything, I was hoping for once I was wrong."

"I wanted to be right too. But you never really know someone until your under fire, I guess." Lisbon sighed as she shut the door to the car, and walked toward the CBI.

She needed someone to be there for her, to care for her and to love her. Her brother had just let her down. He took away trust and belief that she had in him. Someone needed to be there to put it back. And right in that moment, Jane wanted to be the one to do that.

**We spend all our time together  
We can't stand to sleep alone  
When you say you have to leave for now  
I miss you before you're gone**

**All along we thought this was absurd**  
**Every moment we spend goes by too fast**  
**Darling take this chance with me**  
**Cause I have eyes only for you**

Jane tried to get some rest on his couch when he got back to the CBI, but he couldn't find a comfortable spot. The team had been working the past few hours, putting together all the files for the prosecutors against Lisbon's brother, and finally it was time for everyone to go home.

Jane sat up on the couch and waved to Rigsby, Van Pelt, and Cho as they left for their homes. He saw Lisbon's lights in her office still aglow and felt his body start to wonder over to her door. He poked his head in her office, figuring he'd find her at her desk working diligently, but instead he saw her desk empty. Lisbon, was not in her chair, but on her couch, seemingly asleep.

"Lisbon?" Jane called out quietly. "Are you sleeping?"

"No." Lisbon answered in almost an annoyed voice.

"Oh, well since you aren't, you won't mind if I come in." Jane said as he let himself in her office fully and closed the door.

Lisbon sat up on the couch as Jane stood awkwardly in her office.

"Go home, Jane. There's nothing else to do here." Lisbon let out a small yawn.

"There's nothing there for me." Jane said.

He spent so much time here at the headquarters, at crime scenes, and with Lisbon, he barely knew what home was anymore. They spent most of their time with each other it was hard to tell where he belonged. But when she was shot he realized he'd miss her more than he thought if she ever left him.

"You need to talk to someone, Lisbon. I'm all ears." Jane said as he sat down in chair across from the couch and propped his head up with his arm, as it rested on the arm of the chair. "Your brother was just part of a shoot out. That has to have an impact on you."

Lisbon let out a small laugh, not sure what to think of Jane's attempt at being a shrink. "You know what, Jane. I knew he was involved. I didn't know how involved, but I knew. You did too. Probably more than we all did."

"How do you feel about it now? About your brother?" Jane tried to search in her eyes as she looked at him dumbfounded.

"I don't know." Lisbon said, lost in her own words. "Can you stop trying to analyze me, just for tonight?"

"Sure." Jane agreed, as Lisbon made her way back over to her desk.

"Go get some rest Jane, it's been a long night." Lisbon sighed as she kept her back towards him.

Jane said nothing, thinking about how he hated sleeping alone. He rested much better in her company. Her couch was his favorite spot. Whether she was there or not, it felt safer, whatever that meant to him.

"I'll just catch some shut eye here." Jane pointed over to her couch and started to make his way over as Lisbon turned around to face him. "I sleep better here anyways."

"Fine suit, yourself." Lisbon said as she made her way to the front of her desk.

"I hate sleeping alone." Jane said out loud.

"What?" Lisbon said completely taken aback.

"You do too." Jane admitted.

"That's absurd. Y-you sound absurd." Lisbon said with utmost confidence.

"Truthful, I'm being truthful, Lisbon." Jane found his pockets and fit his hands inside.

"I've had a very crazy past two weeks, everyone's eyes have been on me making sure I didn't screw up this case, just because my brother was the prime suspect. I had to shoot at my brother tonight. And now you're in my office at 2 in the morning, telling me you don't want to go home because you don't like sleeping alone and that 'there's nothing there for you'." Lisbon vented with almost no air left.

"My eyes are on you right now. But I'm not here to analyze you or judge you. I'm just here. For you." Jane said as he let his hands out of his pocket.

**Let me be the one to love you  
Let me be the one to care  
Let me be the one to light your flame  
Let me be the one  
For you**

**Don't be scared to show your feelings**  
**'Cause baby I do understand**  
**And I don't make promises that I can't keep**  
**And I vow to be a real good man**

Jane stared into her eyes wishing he could light the flame that normally raged in her eyes. He missed seeing it and he wasn't sure how to bring it back.

"You trusted your brother, you love your brother." Jane said as he tried to get her to look into his eyes, even lowering his head to her level.

"I do. But love isn't enough. He took advantage of me and this unit." Lisbon said as tears started to form in her eyes.

"I know. You don't have to hide. I know." Jane said as he let Lisbon lower her wall, that she let build up so high. "I'm not going anywhere, Lisbon."

Jane took a step forward and reached his arm out to pull Lisbon into his arms. "Let me help you. I promise I'm not going anywhere."

And Jane didn't make promises he couldn't keep.

* * *

**Please feel free to RnR if you like. **

**- Kai **


End file.
